And I kinda liked it, even though it started as a little thing I just did to amuse myself when Vyvanse started kicking in. It's like three pages long and it's about this guy who is in love with this woman carelessly, but is suddenly spawned upon by her with the news that she is HIV Positive. It's a first-person monologue that leads to him getting tested. Sometimes when I'm writing I think of a song title for inspiration and, admittedly, I decided to call it "For Once in Your Life" after I thoughtlessly used that phrase in a sentence lol.
I don't normally use my website for anything creative since I mainly write essays about serious issues in third-person, but I decided to just post this anyway. I hope I don't sound like an attention-seeker or anything, but I put it up here if you wanna read it .

I am impatient. But I read the opening paragraph. Still in disbelief by the magnificence of Janis? It moves very fast! I want to read to the end one day, so don't edit your post.

And I like that the other guy strutted. He didn't sashay.

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Originally Posted by LaBellaVita
The last **** I saw, was so ****ing ugly it literally sent me into a depression. I became suicidal for a week.

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

Interesting. Medical professionals on the whole aren't supposed to use words like embracive though, because you are supposed to assume an average vocabulary of an eight year old...

I'm going to write some short stories. Wish-fulfillment Twilight fiction where Bella gets killed.

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Originally Posted by LaBellaVita
The last **** I saw, was so ****ing ugly it literally sent me into a depression. I became suicidal for a week.

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

i don't know whether you write for fun or profit, but there's lots of 'ly' adverbs. it's adverb hell. the rule is don't tell, show. and adverbs tell.

this is the best sentence as it shows what's happening. not a single adverb.

"Fifteen minutes later John sits, observing the other patients in the waiting room: the happy little girl being rewarded with a lollipop by a doctor before leaving with her father, the smiling teenager with a bandaged arm, and the elderly man consoling his suffering wife in her wheelchair."

(i moved a comma and put a missing word in. i couldn't help myself )

using words like 'lividly' and 'inhumanely' is telling the reader what to think about the character or situation, when you should be showing them the person or situation and letting them make up their own mind.

being told is boring, being shown is interesting.