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02-02-2008, 09:12 PM
|  | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | | Bad Sex in Fiction
Fuck the Booker, the Whitbread, the Pulitzer and the bloody Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit. This is the essential book prize. I love it! Ever since I first heard of it I've had the words "mutual mastication" periodically ringing around my head.
An incomplete list, up to 2004. BAD SEX IN FICTION AWARD - BOOK HELP WEB
One day, I hope to win it myself, though I don't know if they'd disqualify me for trying deliberately to win it. A novel I'm working on ideas for features an author who has won the award. I figure I'll recreate the passage that won it for him, and try to win it for myself. I'll never have the Booker, obv. This annual award is organized by the London-based Literary Review and was founded in 1993 as an attempt to discourage such painful descriptions of sex. Or, as they like to put it: "to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it."
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go
actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
Last edited by bort : 02-02-2008 at 09:18 PM.
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02-03-2008, 12:05 AM
|  | irony maiden | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
| | i'm probably the only person who thinks this, but jeanette winterson is rubbish. the "sexy" bits are just 
so she should be nominated.
they just mentioned westport on the news! |
02-03-2008, 12:21 AM
| | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | | The big bad bus crash? I didn't die!
I get a bit alarmed by almost any writer's description of sex, they all seem so po-faced. Even dear old Doris sometimes leaves me a little flat, but she doesn't linger on the details, thank fuck. And her brutal honesty always win through in the end.
We should try to write our own bad sex!
He first clawed animatedly at her bulbous breasts, then thrust a paw into the heart of her moist, squelching, fecundity.
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go
actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter |
02-03-2008, 12:29 AM
| | irony maiden | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by bort  The big bad bus crash? I didn't die!
I get a bit alarmed by almost any writer's description of sex, they all seem so po-faced. Even dear old Doris sometimes leaves me a little flat, but she doesn't linger on the details, thank fuck. And her brutal honesty always win through in the end.
We should try to write our own bad sex!
He first clawed animatedly at her bulbous breasts, then thrust a paw into the heart of her moist, squelching, fecundity. | ew. i'd probably vomit in my mouth just trying. i mean, i did a bit when i read that sentence of yours. |
02-03-2008, 12:37 AM
| | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by cheshirecat ew. i'd probably vomit in my mouth just trying. i mean, i did a bit when i read that sentence of yours. | SUCCESS. I could totally win that prize. The siren call of her harbour was pounding in its intensity. He was straining at his underwear as he removed his moccasins.
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go
actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter |
02-03-2008, 12:56 AM
| | irony maiden | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
| | | i had a look at that website you posted and was immensely pleased to see that i am charlotte simmons by tom wolfe, that old perv, was on there. a truly shite book. |
02-03-2008, 01:03 AM
| | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by cheshirecat i had a look at that website you posted and was immensely pleased to see that i am charlotte simmons by tom wolfe, that old perv, was on there. a truly shite book. | For my sins, I really rather enjoy Bonfire of the Vanities. But I wouldn't go near I am Charlotte Simmons.
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go
actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter |
02-03-2008, 01:14 AM
| | irony maiden | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by bort For my sins, I really rather enjoy Bonfire of the Vanities. But I wouldn't go near I am Charlotte Simmons. | i couldn't get through one chapter of it. even the title is pretentious. |
02-03-2008, 01:18 AM
| | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by cheshirecat i couldn't get through one chapter of it. even the title is pretentious. | What, Bonfire? I always thought it was a fairly unpretentious novel. It certainly had mass-readership aspirations. It's not exactly "high art".
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go
actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter |
02-03-2008, 01:21 AM
| | irony maiden | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by bort What, Bonfire? I always thought it was a fairly unpretentious novel. It certainly had mass-readership aspirations. It's not exactly "high art". | no, i meant the charlotte simmons one. i forget how old i was, but it was years ago...i picked it up in borders and thought it sounded good, read one chapter and put it down in distaste. |
02-03-2008, 01:24 AM
| | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by cheshirecat no, i meant the charlotte simmons one. i forget how old i was, but it was years ago...i picked it up in borders and thought it sounded good, read one chapter and put it down in distaste. | It got rather savaged in the press. Tom Wolfe has written a lot of good stuff though. From Bauhaus to Our House is good, as is Radical Chic and Mau Mau-ing the Flak Catchers.
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go
actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter |
02-03-2008, 04:13 AM
|  | I'm the hot one. | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Dying 100 times
Posts: 6,660
| | | KR needs to have a short sex-story competition
fuckmefred is a mandatory entrant
as he pile drived my now languid droopy fuckhole, the cd player switched over to the best of Sinead O'Connor. The phrase 'nothing compares to you' plays on repeat in my mind, as i scrawl for another bottle of amyl. I find myself pinned to the soiled carpet by his giant hairy trucker cock. |
02-03-2008, 08:09 AM
|  | Chairman~MouseyTongue | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Chairman Meow
Posts: 6,936
| | | I heard Corky handed over the award to the winners one year? |
02-03-2008, 08:22 AM
|  | old gregg? | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,072
| | | Stephen king *vom* |
02-03-2008, 08:24 PM
| | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by dollie_midget Stephen king *vom* | Stephen King does sex?! Ewwww. I thought his worlds were far more hermetically sealed. He's a shit writer to begin with, so I can't imagine he'd have a way with words when it comes to sex. Or anything. The fetid stench of his undergarments hastened their removal, but what lay beneath, near fully-engorged and glistening in the half-light, engendered in her a miasma of merely semi-decadent thoughts...
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go
actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter |
02-03-2008, 09:49 PM
| | I'm the hot one. | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Dying 100 times
Posts: 6,660
| | | I just choked on my own saliva laughing at that bort |
02-04-2008, 05:49 AM
| | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth Price I just choked on my own saliva laughing at that bort | Just promise me there was revulsion - or, if wet, disgust - swirling around in there too.
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go
actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter |
02-04-2008, 07:01 AM
| | I'm the hot one. | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Dying 100 times
Posts: 6,660
| | | the first few times i heard 'miasma' used as a word, i thought they were saying 'my athsma' |
02-04-2008, 07:22 AM
| | Phil Goff | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth Price the first few times i heard 'miasma' used as a word, i thought they were saying 'my athsma' | Are the "s" sounds in those two words not different in Australianesia?
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.
I escaped somehow. Let's go
actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter |
02-04-2008, 07:47 AM
|  | Du mußt Caligari werden! | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: vivian comma close
Posts: 9,434
| | | bort, all your sex is hetero. what can this mean? | |
