Fuck the Booker, the Whitbread, the Pulitzer and the bloody Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit. This is the essential book prize. I love it! Ever since I first heard of it I've had the words "mutual mastication" periodically ringing around my head.

An incomplete list, up to 2004.
BAD SEX IN FICTION AWARD - BOOK HELP WEB

One day, I hope to win it myself, though I don't know if they'd disqualify me for trying deliberately to win it. A novel I'm working on ideas for features an author who has won the award. I figure I'll recreate the passage that won it for him, and try to win it for myself. I'll never have the Booker, obv.

This annual award is organized by the London-based Literary Review and was founded in 1993 as an attempt to discourage such painful descriptions of sex. Or, as they like to put it: "to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it."

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

i'm probably the only person who thinks this, but jeanette winterson is rubbish. the "sexy" bits are just
so she should be nominated.

they just mentioned westport on the news!

The big bad bus crash? I didn't die!

I get a bit alarmed by almost any writer's description of sex, they all seem so po-faced. Even dear old Doris sometimes leaves me a little flat, but she doesn't linger on the details, thank fuck. And her brutal honesty always win through in the end.

We should try to write our own bad sex!





He first clawed animatedly at her bulbous breasts, then thrust a paw into the heart of her moist, squelching, fecundity.

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

ew. i'd probably vomit in my mouth just trying. i mean, i did a bit when i read that sentence of yours.

SUCCESS. I could totally win that prize.



The siren call of her harbour was pounding in its intensity. He was straining at his underwear as he removed his moccasins.

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter