kittyradio.com



kittyradio.com » creativity » the written word » Bad Sex in Fiction


Welcome to the kittyradio.com forums.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. Remove these ads when you register. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-02-2008, 09:12 PM
bort's Avatar
bort bort is offline
Phil Goff
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute
Bad Sex in Fiction

Fuck the Booker, the Whitbread, the Pulitzer and the bloody Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit. This is the essential book prize. I love it! Ever since I first heard of it I've had the words "mutual mastication" periodically ringing around my head.

An incomplete list, up to 2004.
BAD SEX IN FICTION AWARD - BOOK HELP WEB

One day, I hope to win it myself, though I don't know if they'd disqualify me for trying deliberately to win it. A novel I'm working on ideas for features an author who has won the award. I figure I'll recreate the passage that won it for him, and try to win it for myself. I'll never have the Booker, obv.

This annual award is organized by the London-based Literary Review and was founded in 1993 as an attempt to discourage such painful descriptions of sex. Or, as they like to put it: "to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it."
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

Last edited by bort : 02-02-2008 at 09:18 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-03-2008, 12:05 AM
cheshirecat's Avatar
cheshirecat cheshirecat is offline
irony maiden
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
cheshirecat has disabled reputation
i'm probably the only person who thinks this, but jeanette winterson is rubbish. the "sexy" bits are just
so she should be nominated.

they just mentioned westport on the news!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-03-2008, 12:21 AM
bort's Avatar
bort bort is offline
Phil Goff
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute
The big bad bus crash? I didn't die!

I get a bit alarmed by almost any writer's description of sex, they all seem so po-faced. Even dear old Doris sometimes leaves me a little flat, but she doesn't linger on the details, thank fuck. And her brutal honesty always win through in the end.

We should try to write our own bad sex!





He first clawed animatedly at her bulbous breasts, then thrust a paw into the heart of her moist, squelching, fecundity.
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-03-2008, 12:29 AM
cheshirecat's Avatar
cheshirecat cheshirecat is offline
irony maiden
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
cheshirecat has disabled reputation
Quote:
Originally Posted by bort View Post
The big bad bus crash? I didn't die!

I get a bit alarmed by almost any writer's description of sex, they all seem so po-faced. Even dear old Doris sometimes leaves me a little flat, but she doesn't linger on the details, thank fuck. And her brutal honesty always win through in the end.

We should try to write our own bad sex!





He first clawed animatedly at her bulbous breasts, then thrust a paw into the heart of her moist, squelching, fecundity.
ew. i'd probably vomit in my mouth just trying. i mean, i did a bit when i read that sentence of yours.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-03-2008, 12:37 AM
bort's Avatar
bort bort is offline
Phil Goff
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheshirecat View Post
ew. i'd probably vomit in my mouth just trying. i mean, i did a bit when i read that sentence of yours.
SUCCESS. I could totally win that prize.



The siren call of her harbour was pounding in its intensity. He was straining at his underwear as he removed his moccasins.
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-03-2008, 12:56 AM
cheshirecat's Avatar
cheshirecat cheshirecat is offline
irony maiden
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
cheshirecat has disabled reputation
i had a look at that website you posted and was immensely pleased to see that i am charlotte simmons by tom wolfe, that old perv, was on there. a truly shite book.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-03-2008, 01:03 AM
bort's Avatar
bort bort is offline
Phil Goff
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheshirecat View Post
i had a look at that website you posted and was immensely pleased to see that i am charlotte simmons by tom wolfe, that old perv, was on there. a truly shite book.
For my sins, I really rather enjoy Bonfire of the Vanities. But I wouldn't go near I am Charlotte Simmons.
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 02-03-2008, 01:14 AM
cheshirecat's Avatar
cheshirecat cheshirecat is offline
irony maiden
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
cheshirecat has disabled reputation
Quote:
Originally Posted by bort View Post
For my sins, I really rather enjoy Bonfire of the Vanities. But I wouldn't go near I am Charlotte Simmons.
i couldn't get through one chapter of it. even the title is pretentious.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 02-03-2008, 01:18 AM
bort's Avatar
bort bort is offline
Phil Goff
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheshirecat View Post
i couldn't get through one chapter of it. even the title is pretentious.
What, Bonfire? I always thought it was a fairly unpretentious novel. It certainly had mass-readership aspirations. It's not exactly "high art".
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 02-03-2008, 01:21 AM
cheshirecat's Avatar
cheshirecat cheshirecat is offline
irony maiden
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: denny's.
Posts: 1,989
cheshirecat has disabled reputation
Quote:
Originally Posted by bort View Post
What, Bonfire? I always thought it was a fairly unpretentious novel. It certainly had mass-readership aspirations. It's not exactly "high art".
no, i meant the charlotte simmons one. i forget how old i was, but it was years ago...i picked it up in borders and thought it sounded good, read one chapter and put it down in distaste.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 02-03-2008, 01:24 AM
bort's Avatar
bort bort is offline
Phil Goff
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheshirecat View Post
no, i meant the charlotte simmons one. i forget how old i was, but it was years ago...i picked it up in borders and thought it sounded good, read one chapter and put it down in distaste.
It got rather savaged in the press. Tom Wolfe has written a lot of good stuff though. From Bauhaus to Our House is good, as is Radical Chic and Mau Mau-ing the Flak Catchers.
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 02-03-2008, 04:13 AM
Ruth Price's Avatar
Ruth Price Ruth Price is offline
I'm the hot one.
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Dying 100 times
Posts: 6,660
Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute
KR needs to have a short sex-story competition

fuckmefred is a mandatory entrant

as he pile drived my now languid droopy fuckhole, the cd player switched over to the best of Sinead O'Connor. The phrase 'nothing compares to you' plays on repeat in my mind, as i scrawl for another bottle of amyl. I find myself pinned to the soiled carpet by his giant hairy trucker cock.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 02-03-2008, 08:09 AM
BleedingHeart's Avatar
BleedingHeart BleedingHeart is offline
Chairman~MouseyTongue
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Chairman Meow
Posts: 6,936
BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute BleedingHeart has a reputation beyond repute
I heard Corky handed over the award to the winners one year?
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 02-03-2008, 08:22 AM
dollie_midget's Avatar
dollie_midget dollie_midget is offline
old gregg?
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,072
dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute dollie_midget has a reputation beyond repute
Stephen king *vom*
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 02-03-2008, 08:24 PM
bort's Avatar
bort bort is offline
Phil Goff
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by dollie_midget View Post
Stephen king *vom*
Stephen King does sex?! Ewwww. I thought his worlds were far more hermetically sealed. He's a shit writer to begin with, so I can't imagine he'd have a way with words when it comes to sex. Or anything.



The fetid stench of his undergarments hastened their removal, but what lay beneath, near fully-engorged and glistening in the half-light, engendered in her a miasma of merely semi-decadent thoughts...
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 02-03-2008, 09:49 PM
Ruth Price's Avatar
Ruth Price Ruth Price is offline
I'm the hot one.
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Dying 100 times
Posts: 6,660
Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute
I just choked on my own saliva laughing at that bort
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 02-04-2008, 05:49 AM
bort's Avatar
bort bort is offline
Phil Goff
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth Price View Post
I just choked on my own saliva laughing at that bort
Just promise me there was revulsion - or, if wet, disgust - swirling around in there too.
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 02-04-2008, 07:01 AM
Ruth Price's Avatar
Ruth Price Ruth Price is offline
I'm the hot one.
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Dying 100 times
Posts: 6,660
Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute Ruth Price has a reputation beyond repute
the first few times i heard 'miasma' used as a word, i thought they were saying 'my athsma'
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 02-04-2008, 07:22 AM
bort's Avatar
bort bort is offline
Phil Goff
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Westport, New Zealand
Posts: 18,382
bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute bort has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth Price View Post
the first few times i heard 'miasma' used as a word, i thought they were saying 'my athsma'
Are the "s" sounds in those two words not different in Australianesia?
__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 02-04-2008, 07:47 AM
kesh's Avatar
kesh kesh is offline
Du mußt Caligari werden!
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: vivian comma close
Posts: 9,434
kesh has a reputation beyond repute kesh has a reputation beyond repute kesh has a reputation beyond repute kesh has a reputation beyond repute kesh has a reputation beyond repute kesh has a reputation beyond repute kesh has a reputation beyond repute kesh has a reputation beyond repute kesh has a reputation beyond repute kesh has a reputation beyond repute kesh has a reputation beyond repute
bort, all your sex is hetero. what can this mean?
Reply With Quote