An escape that she felt was just here something that she could not place she was just drawing in this constant nothing what is this what is it that nails her to her own cross did she run to far to get thought that passing of what ever it was that held her in her prison something that could not be placed her ability to speak was dead. This has been released by something that could not be understood by the chocking of tears that flowed from the bottom of the pit that was the hell lived from a daily masturbation of here from there silent all those years here she sat silent she sat silent all these years no word would come from her mouth because they did not want her to say anything they just wanted her to sit and think of something run the road that lead to the river to deep river that would lead to no where wither that moved to slow nothing left to give to much to give to much to see to much to even try to understand I can't see a think for closeting my eyes to many times I feel so much colder and nothing in my mind can explain what is going on inside this nothingness that I feel what is it?

Go to the deep river, go to it find what it was that you were looking for something that could not be placed what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it? ? ? / ??/ ? ?? / ?? ? ? darkest hole planed before her body died, the morning light came she herd something but thought she knew something else that sun did blind her eyes sleep did not come for her and the sound that was coming from the voice inside that she could not place. She plead a part her lies became one in the same as she spoke of being set free being brought down as she was broken sound permeating the air sleep did not come to her that sound came once again and she couldn't't understand what it was coming from this noise what was it? The morning light came again but the funeral precession came through the sun did blind her eyes that voice called again for her to come sleep did not come her teeth did gnash together. Anger welled up with in her she park herself upon that chair that held anger, hate, red, pureness, angry chair, angry chair, she just wanted to please just to please just to please just to please just to please just to please has she gone nuts?

That remains to be seen as she lit the candles of cherry dripping with blood mangled with wax that burned her wrist she didn't care. Others around her troubled with her condition thinking that it was something that needed correcting and that the shrews needed to be tightened several times more. She just wanted to drift and sleep ceaselessly until the Lords homecoming so that he could come and sweep her up in her arms away from the aching, the aching, but she didn't want to awaken she wanted to sleep just to sleep just to sleep just to sleep she didn't care if she was shattered, that was from the ancient times when she knew who she was now she didn't know who or where or why or how. Did it matter; none of it really did, did it? The winter that was in her heart something that could not be understood she did not make up her mind she could not make up her mind she could not make up her mind she could not make up her mind she could not make up her mind sleeping beauty tripped her with a frown she could not stand up for her self or make up her mind she couldn't love herself she couldn't change the white horses were sleeping but she could not change she could not change she could not change boys were those that would not come near her because she was the weird one the one that would scare them away she was the one that was not right not right not right not right not right. No, she can't make up her mind her mind she can't make up her mind she can't make up her mind her mind do they change? Do they change, she doesn't want change she doesn't want change she doesn't want change. God is a father who is one who allows pain he allows pain he allows pain he allows pain he allows pain he allows pain he allows pain why did he create me why did you O Lord create me this mess this ****ed up mess the white horses go a head of me and yet I'm a ****ed up mess with nothing to show for what it is that I'm nothing.

I just need to crawl away aggression is something that I cannot hide I question why do I question I'm ****ed up, I try to get away from all of this I try to get away I try to get away I try to get away I try to get away I try I I I I I I I I I Ii I Iii I I I I I ii I I III I forget something they try to get away get away get away get away get away get away get away get away get away. Why do I want to get awaw, l I need to get away need to need to need to need you but who is you? Why do I pain so much why do I hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt? For sale my soul? Will you sell it I'm just a dumb ****, I don't' know what I enjoy, nothing turns out In these minds of me I can buy anything I'm a girl tie my hair in bunches **** me call me reada if you want I cut myself to get pain out. I tease them all year long running here someone will always say yes, I'm plagued sick, pitiless, I'm a God on video so tear off my **** and call me your **** toy. I cut myself to get pain out; weak have none solitude is the 11th commandment. The only thing about me no part of me hasn't been used to show displeasure's pain everyone I've loved always seems to leave. Lye down do as I say, on a sunless afternoon where I try to find myself. Who am I? every finger is pointing at me, this bowling ball is in my pit, I sell out looking for a savior raiseing my hands just like God needs one more viciom nothing I do is good enough for you, my heart is sick of being in your chains. I have enough culpability to start my oun religious conviction. Please address me, revive me, I cry. Nothing I ever perform is sufficient enough for you. Why do I crucisify myself, why do I crucify myself? Why everyday? ****ing all the time is just something that I do all the time, my face is ****ed up I loose my ounly home they want to kick me out I'm just a parasite just an anemic waste of time a rot of flesh called that needs to change her shading something that she cannot do no purity only soiling everything that she touches she is to weak to see to do anything

she chooses her choice with her lags bent unbinding of the horror that sounds her look at the fat s*** that pamper me there is such beautiful dignity in this self abuse. the shadow of her season, no way to be free, shadow of her season she has no reason to carry on not a reason to carry on why should she try this world of hurting crying to the Lord who only said there is pain and misery noting to set her free nothing to set her free nothing to set her free nothing to set herself free or to carry on only pain and misery sweet nothing is where she wants to be sweet nonentity holds her reason sweet noting syrupy nothing that is what she wants to be is in the middle of the syrup of nothing to be served up before God and just find her reason. Because this shadow is not a reason but he can offer the reason the reason the reason to persevere. She finds a way to crawl out of the darkness with this message, she has been everyone else's girl maybe she will be her own. These arguments screams all around make them evaporate. Take my cherry tree, just call it all off, stop your earsplitting yelling discontinue your rushing rivers your persecution your fury.

ew.

rehab, doll.

id like to know who read this all.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

ewwwwwwwww wtf