Okay. These three 10 yr-old girls were looking at their yearbook and ranking the boys' hotness on a scale of 1-10.

One of them gave this one boy a zero. But then they talked it out and upgraded him to a 2 because he choked to death on a hotdog.

*****ES IN TRAINING.

that is priceless in a sort of saddish way.
best i ever heard was to young ladies, one saying to the other "i don't know how he can even question it, if it wasn't his baby there is no ****ing way i'd stay with such an asshole."

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we're all just walking each other home. ram dass

there is this 90 year old man who hangs out at my pool.

i think he is deaf bc he is always sort of saying **** under his breath.

but it is loud enough for anyone to hear.

and he says **** like.

COME SIT ON MY FACE.

PUT YOUR **** ON MY FACE.

it's really awkward bc half the time. i am the only other person there.

SO WHO IS HE TALKING TO?

he better not be talking to me.


then this other time. this skanky haggard white lady called her bf and was like. PLEASE COME OVER SO I CAN GET PREGNANT.

just you know. loud as can be.

i guess the bf objected tho. bc she was like. BUT IF YOU DON'T COME OVER. HOW CAN I GET PREGNANT???


idk about you.

but i find that sort of thing unsavory.

i'm gonna catch hiv from that pool one of these days.


i have many centuries more worth of stories tho.

AND THE HONKY WHO WRANG HIS HAIR OUT ON MY HALF-NEKKID BODY????

oh dear god.

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some of my customers want me to suck their *****es. i tell them allah did not create my mouth for that purpose.

brutal ranking
clotty your pool just sounds scary

well it aint the ritz.

then this other time.

well there was this male stripper. and he was wearing a thong.

which i don't really approve of anyway bc A) childs are at the pool all the time and B) his *** was really scary verging on hairy.

anyway.

i know he was a stripper only bc he was on his fone the whole time WITH A LADY FRIEND. and he mentioned his sexy dancing.

and idk. just tanning his *** cheeks. and.

idk. DON'T THEY HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE FOR CHIPPENDALES SEXY SEXYS TO GO TAN THAT ISN'T MY POOL?

he was not sexy sexy at all.

weird facial hair and head hair. and *** hair i guess.

i'm just saying.

no no no.

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some of my customers want me to suck their *****es. i tell them allah did not create my mouth for that purpose.