times when you're just ****ting rainbows
i'm having one.
i haven't slept in a solid 30 hours, and i'm on some insane (bipolar?) high.
i stayed up all night watching this great/predictable/retarded/heartwarming show about these goodhearted canadian hipster-frat-boys-in-grad-school types, who made a list of all the things they want to do before they die, and for each they accomplish, they also do a good deed for someone else.
and waking up this child with diabetes AND severe bedwetting problems up, every hour, on the hour (for fourteen hours) to do alternating blood sugar checks and reminders to go pee. it was 32 degrees outside, to walk to his building, from my office.
and i LOVED IT.
all ****ing night i was reveling.
"this is uncomfortably cold, but so beautiful! look at this world!"
"children are little angels! each is a treasure!"
"driving a car is zoomy and fun! and i LOVE the stupid radio! this tom petty song is totally worth spending 45 minutes stuck behind this jackknifed and overturned big-rig carrying wood!!"
"i should go running. yes! i just worked 14 hours! and now i'm going to run! i I CAN DO ANYTHING!"
"GIRL POWER!" -- no. literally, i thought to myself "girl power!" in a self-encouraging way, while i was jogging down 7th street.
that's how i know the crash must be coming. because....
i can't be knocked down.
i love everything.
it's been this way for more than 12 hours.
i don't think i've ever been so unreasonably positive and rah-rah! about the world, for this long, ever.
tell me about your episodes of this sort.
i am so vain. and yet, so masochistic. how can the two coexist?