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  #1  
Old 06-15-2006, 01:58 AM
recalcitrant's Avatar
recalcitrant recalcitrant is offline
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SAve Screech buy a "Dshirt"

http://getdshirts.com/the_story.html

I'm Dustin Diamond and you probably remember me from the hit TV show Saved By The Bell. After the show ended I decided to leave Sunny Cailfornia for the midwest. My shitty credit meant that getting a loan for a house would be tough. I began looking and finally purchsed one on a land contract. I was thrilled! Now I call Wisconsin my home.

During the past years the land around me has developed for the better and my property value went way up. Now that the house is worth a lot more they want it back. Knowing my credit is bad, getting a straight mortgage would take some time. I received a letter stating that I had 30 days to pay $250,000.00 or get out. I was not thrilled.

Calling an old friend with lots of connections, I was finally referred to a man named Arthur Giraldo who works for New York Capital Exchange. "If he can't do it, it can't be done." Arthur was said to be an expert in land contracts and a guru when it came to getting difficult loans done. Indeed Arthur sold himself highly and away we went to save my house. I was told not to worry, that it wouldn't be a problem and that everything would be done quickly, as was needed.

I sent everything he asked for and signed all the papers that were sent to me. The closing date was to be set and he would have a lawyer who was in Wisconsin come to the closing with me. Arthur even said he was going to fly out himself and be there for the closing. The days went by and I never heard from him. I called and left message after message but never got a call back. I finally called from another number from the road (I travel the U.S. doing stand up comedy) and he picked up. As if we had all the time in the world, he brushed it off and said again not to worry. Everything was moving ahead and all is well. He set yet another closing date, but that came and went.

Meanwhile, all was not well and they still want the house. As days crept by and still no calls from Arthur, I was forced to threaten calling every day, all day long, every hour on the hour til I got a call back. Alas, I get a call back. "Don't worry. Everything's moving ahead and all is well." Less than thrilled.

This avoidance goes on and on for some time until...

"You got Served"

That's right, yours truly gets served with a notice to foreclose. They're gonna take my house! I'm gonna be homeless! Dustin Diamond homeless in Wisconsin. BULLSHIT! Time to call up New York Capital Exchange and set them straight! My message went something like this...

"Tell Arthur Giraldo that I just got served and was told that he hadn't contacted the holder of the land contract for over a month, never sent any papers over and as such, I am losing my house. If he doesn't call me back I'll go to Howard Stern and tell the world (New York especially) how he does business. Let's face it, if he can't find the time to work on a mortgage for a famous celebrity, how will he handle the average person?"

In more words than one I was told basically... "Go f... yourself!"

One phone call later I was telling the Stern show what had happened.
Time to pay the piper Arthur. You shouldn't have f...ed with the Dman.

At this point I have less than 40 days to save my house and I'm calling out to anyone who will listen.

1. I want Arthur to lose his cushy job at NYCE where he screws over the working man then laughs at their expense.

2. I ask you to join my fight against injustice by helping to save my house.

I've designed a T-shirt for all of you to wear to show your support. All monies go towards Saving My House!

1. A $15.00 donation will get you a comfortable and stylish cotton T-Shirt telling the world you helped save my house.

2. A $20.00 donation will get you that same T-Shirt signed by me with my special message "Fuck Giraldo".

First we rallied to Free Wynona. The next time we Voted For Pedro. This time we'll Save Screeech's House!

Please rally behind me and together we can end the feeble handling of peoples futures by Arthur Giraldo and at the same time SAVE MY HOUSE!
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  #2  
Old 06-15-2006, 02:03 AM
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historygravity historygravity is offline
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It's time for the Zack Attack to do a benefit show.
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  #3  
Old 06-15-2006, 02:16 AM
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recalcitrant recalcitrant is offline
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As long as its at the max
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  #4  
Old 06-15-2006, 02:41 AM
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clinquant clinquant is offline
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pfft, this plea is just insulting.

if he was any kind of respectable human being he'd be using his "celebrity" to raise funds for homeless families, not to save his $250,000.00 house.

fuckin lame.
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  #5  
Old 06-15-2006, 02:50 AM
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alpha zygote alpha zygote is online now
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what does a land-contract involve?
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  #6  
Old 06-15-2006, 04:24 AM
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thisbytes thisbytes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by historygravity
It's time for the Zack Attack to do a benefit show.
That or he could just wait out 30 minutes when everything magically comes together for the better.

Or he could always sell nudes of Kelly and Jessie. Wait, we've already seen those. Yep, he's fucked.
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  #7  
Old 06-15-2006, 04:26 AM
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I want to see his ten inch dick.
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  #8  
Old 06-15-2006, 04:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by historygravity
It's time for the Zack Attack to do a benefit show.
Oh noooooooo! I had a friend who had a saved by the bell tape.....I hope for its kitsch value, and we listened to it a few years ago. That shit is so good. (deep lyrics too- "we're staying together", pure genius) I'm headed to the mp3 thread right now to do a request.
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  #9  
Old 06-15-2006, 04:34 AM
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If Elizabeth Berkley would re-create the ground breaking episode in which she popped No Doze but naked in a strip club a la Showgirls, he would certainly raise enough money.
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  #10  
Old 06-15-2006, 05:38 AM
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Ronette Ronette is offline
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I have a photo of him somewhere of him pulling a cone, some guy he knows that I know sent it to me.
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