Originally Posted by dirtyplotte
honey. why were you on pain pills in the first place?
because you were in pain right? thats a stressor.
I had to have surgeries on both of my arms because my nerves (ulnar and median) had became entrapped, and the ulnar nerves on both arms had actually wrapped around my elbows so they had to be transposed. It was so painful and it took two years of phys. therapy to restore use. I even joined a Master's swim team so I could try to get full usage again, but for all of that nerve damage, I had to be on pain meds just to function. (Darvocet)
All hell broke loose though when my back started to "go out" on a regular basis. It was horrible. I had finally gotten used to my arms and worked hard and got off the meds, but my back was seriously ****ed up. Finally, it went out in public and the ambulance had to come and I felt really stupid. They got me an M.R.I. and low and behold, I had 4 herniated disks! (L2 thru S1).
I've been to so many good specialists, 4 pain clinics, physical therapy, acupuncture, craniosacral therapy, psychotherapy, surgeons, (I think you get the picture), this has been ongoing for over 10 years. I've also had the nerve block injections and done yoga, swimming, you name it, I've done it. I have a local doc who I saw at least once a month because the general consensus was that the best thing I could do was stay on drugs and keep exercising. I also got this test called a discogram (total hell on earth) and the level of pain when they shot the liquid into my disks was 10/10. It was extremely serious, but that many levels of surgery would probably guarantee a methadone pump or something really insidious like that for the rest of my life. With this **** shoot, I still had a chance.
I fought the good fight but I finally lost. Man, my regular doc was crushed. That little office was so sad when I went in and told them that I was going to rehab. That's one of the nice things about a small town.
But yeah, I felt like I let everyone down so I was certainly stressed. I had a husband who saw drug addiction as a weakness so that was a stressor too. He seemed to change his attitude when he saw that there was no party going on with me. I couldn't be more sad and lonely. I think he realized in his little jock world that this was an illness, NOT a weakness. I really wish there was a better way to educate the masses about that point. There's still way too much ignorance about that.
Speaking of ignorant, I'll say it now because I don't care about what the ***** thinks. That stupid know-it-all Laura. You'd think that since she had a husband who killed himself, she would have learned compassion about this whole area regarding human frailty and diseases in this area, ya know?? But as I got worse, she became meaner and less tolerant. She is the classic example of intolerance and stupidity in society. Such a worthless *****. Her poor husband. He was suffering and in her hands and I don't even want to think of how she probably treated him. wow.