Originally Posted by DeadFag
i like you more now. unless this another attention grab.
LOL. This is NO concoction of imagination. This terror really happened. It's like a bad dream...you can't believe its real..you feel numb.
My friends turned on me.
I almost lost my leg
My family didn't give a FUUUUCKK
Doctors didn't "really" give a FUUUUCK
I almost got addicted to pain pills
I was too injured to buy a shotgun to kill myself
Some Days I wake up or I'm somewhere I just start crying or have hysterical anxiety for no reason
I hate being in my house and or owning anything and want to leave and sometimes get an irrational feeling of panic about just fleeing.
I can't walk normally anymore, have no feeling in my shin.
Now I know what it means to live in a "terror state". You "wake up" and realize that you were living in a horror where completely indefensible things were accepted as normal by utterly evil people masquerading as human beings only because they are a majority or in power or some other source of "authority".
Live in that state long enough and eventually you forget what it means to have feelings at all because your own are never acknowledged or defended by anyone else.
That's how the prisoners become institutionalized in prison, how jews were made to submit to their fate at Auschwitz, how Stalin made 300 million Russians utterly submit to his will or kill themselves just to be "free" in the only way left to them. I sometimes still think about suicide because I literally can't believe the true nature of the people in my life, how little I meant to them, how little I've always meant to them. how little I mean to a doctor even or a neighbor.
It's all just a nightmare.