Hey everyone, usually I don't really vent about personal stuff, so please excuse me for this following diatribe...

Those from the old (pre-hack) KR might remember a thread I did about a shitty friend that I had who basically did almost nothing for me whatsoever when I got married last year, but expected me somehow to pay a ton of $$$$ to attend hers (whilst wearing a lovely aquamarine gown NOT of my own choosing...that she wanted me to pay for, no kidding). Needless to say my feelings were hurt badly by her selfish behavior, I had been "friends" with this person for 15 years and had NO IDEA she was this selfish. I confronted her about her behavior a few months ago, which did nothing...she basically shrugged it off and blamed me for her not giving a shit at all about my wedding ("you didn't give me enough time" etc. when I told her about my wedding months in advance, all bullshit basically). Understandably I haven't talked to this person much since, I have been doing my best to avoid this person.

Well, some of you also remember that my class reunion is this month. Unfortunately I have to deal with this person there. She called me and left a message a few weeks ago, I haven't called her back. I know this behavior is very immature, but if I talk to her I am going to say something very regrettable, so I feel at this point ignoring her is for the best. And something very interesting has presented itself this evening. Another mutual friend e-mailed me tonight wondering if we should put together a "special wedding dinner" for the selfish friend, and wants me to go. Obviously, I'd rather get my appendix ripped out than go to any fucking wedding anything for this person. But this wedding dinner gives me the opportunity to drop some hints like "Damn, it would have been nice had SOME FRIENDS done something nice for me when I got married, OH WAIT THEY DIDN'T!!!" etc. But that also is obviously not the right route to go. I don't want to do ANYTHING for her, period. I just want this friendship to die out. I know she wants to talk to me to see what's wrong, but what's the point of doing "chit chat" when we're really ignoring the biggest issues at hand, plus she doesn't understand my side of the story at all.

Sorry to get so immature and emo on you all, but this whole situation has deeply hurt my feelings so much. I've known this person for 15 years, I thought somehow we were all equals. I'm not feeling the love from them and it makes me very sad, I don't know why I should even care anymore. Other than this, my life is very good. I just take friendship very seriously. Any advice, thoughts, etc. would be appreciated.

__________________

let's get kkb in here to help plot her demise.

mo one fucks with emily.

__________________

of course going to the dinner and acting bratty is out, as youve said, although fantasising like that i think is healthy.

youre still really angry and i bet it would help if she finally understood and apologised. it might happen, it might not, but why not give her the chance by writing her a letter explaining your side. that way shes not just feeling put on the spot but can take the time to contemplate what you have written/how you feel. if she chooses to apologize at that time, i think that this might be better for the both of you. im not syaing it will save the friendship, but i do think that allowing her to really see things your way might be good for you and her.

if that doesnt help, blow up her wedding, kamakazi style

__________________
Home of the original Kitten Mittens! MEEEEEE_OWWWW!!

well knowing myself, I would put my ego in the way as well. I don't even know if it would be worth it having a conversation with that kind of person.
I kind of am going through a similar thing right now, except she owed me money that she never paid back and she never mentions it, and she calls me to hang out, but I don't want to. I was gonna move out with her, but this is someone I just cannot trust at all. she did other stuff that irritated me as well. I just don't need that kind of friend around me.

I don't know maybe you should go, but be cold enough but yet polite with her. And basically avoid conversation with her, no personal details. Don't make yourself vulnerable to her sudden niceness. she hurt you, a selfish person will always stay selfish deep down.

oh i'd throw the special wedding dinner alright......

got oysters