Flatmate having sex again very loudly.
I understand that couples need to have sex but I've been in the shower for the past hour, couldn't they have shagged then?
They know I can hear EVERYTHING but sometimes I think they wait till I'm in my room. They must do it on purpose.
I want to go to bed, how can I sleep when they're panting away directly on the other side of the wall. I mean ew. Its gross.

Should I bang on the wall and shout shut the fuck up or is that a bit rude?
She might not talk to me again.
I tried throwing pillows at the wall and slamming my door twice but they just didn't get the hint.

Ahhhh make em stop!

Yes, it would be rude. Why should they stop having sex just because you can't find something else to occupy yourself?

Wait til they're done, and then next time you see them joke about it. They'll probably be incredibly embarrassed and try to keep it down in future. Don't bother trying to drop hints, because they're having sex; they won't get them, and it'll just make you angry. Don't slam your door either, that's just pretty childish.

In the meantime, just listen to some loud music and/or have a wank.

can't play loud music my other flatmates are sleeping
I want to sleep but I cant when they're screwing on the other side of my wall...I am occupying myself typing this though
And just ew to the wank thing...I'd be maturbating to the sound of my friend having sex
I have left the room for tea, toilet ect, so I didnt stand and slam it over and over again deliberatly.

I'd stay in the kitchen but its too godamn cold in there and it kinda smells bad.

I need sleep.

when that happens i take a sleeping pill or two and put my headphones in, cause i do it to my housemates sometimes, at really awful antisocial times like at 4 or 5 in the morning. banging on the wall will just make you seem like a poor sport, i'm afraid!

Buy earplugs. Discuss it at a later time. It's embarassing for the people involved.

Perhaps go out now and buy the earplugs. Maybe if they hear you they will get the point. Leave the package on the table. Discuss it w/ your flatmate later.

Well, advice for the future then: GET HOTTER HOUSEMATES.

Can't you just watch some porn at the same volume that they're having sex? (If you have guitar effects and a decent amp, you can have a lot of fun like this.)

yes it's totally rude. this is one of those 'put up' situtations in my book. if you can't just go into the lounge and watch some tv for a while or listen to music on headphones for a while, grin and bear it. and if you need to, mention it casually to your flatmate next time you two are alone. but banging on the wall is just off.

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lol i've been that person. on the other side of the wall. and tbh, i don't care. when i'm getting laid i don't even give a fuck who it's annoying. and i'm rly loud. to the point where the boy's housemates make jokes about it blatantly in front of me. i just smirk and get on with it.

so i doubt banging on the wall would help

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you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

The fact that you've been making noise with the door and whatnot may actually lead to them thinking that you are still up and about and are not trying to sleep. Maybe? Try to embarrass them if you will; if you succeed and they get embarrassed it will possibly have the effect you desire - at least until the next time they're really horny. If you fail then at least you know they're shameless and you can instead concentrate on getting some enjoyment - or at least a good laugh - out of it all.

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Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

My neighbour was a prositute and had sex all the time when I lived alone. She would have several guys over for a gang bang and shit like that. Sometimes I'd have a wank to destress and fall asleep. Other times I'd leave the room and go occupy myself. Never could sleep with headphones on - always worried the cord would strangle me during the night.

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I swear this will work.

Record them and play it back to them....... if possible.. leave it on all night beside the wall playing loudly, lock your door and go stay somewhere else for the night with that on repeat.

I don't think it is rude at all.. they should shut the fuck up. I heard my housemates fucking the other night so I turned up my music so loud it was shaking the house and they got the idea that I was still awake and could hear them.

i stress about this too

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Maybe you could send him like a coat hanger or soup mix in the mail with a post it-
"when you paint with your eyes closed, you never become picasso, you just become an ironic narcissist with uncomfortable shades".
Throwing people off is thrilling.

-ktlr

I always worry about somehow breaking the headphones. I guess my parents' relative tightfistedness still sometimes breaks into my spendthrift soul.

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Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

I could never sleep without my headphones in. My favourite thing was buying a new CD in the day and waiting till i went to bed to listen to it in the dark. Plenty of times i would fall asleep and wake up during the night with the cd still on repeat. I loved it. Now i live with my boyfriend so i don't do it anymore.
But erm, advice. I dunno other than listening to music.

my ex's roommates nicknamed me the screaming ballerina.

i like historygravity's idea about leaving earplugs on the table.

Knock on the door mid-session and tell them in calm and measured tones that they are a pair of self-centered, disrespectful idiots.

I second the earplugs suggestion. I have always lived in noisy houses - when I lived at my parents', my sister would constantly be playing music, going downstairs (creaky staircase), flushing the toilet in the middle of the night and so on. Now I live with my bf, and he snores. Earplugs = my saviour.

I've also lived with a friend who used to have loud sex. She'd have it during the day or afternoon, though. I joked about it with her alot. I had a sample of some really shady lube that was supposed to make your orgasm more powerful with chinese herbs or something. I wasn't going to use that shit anyways (I mean, LOL), so I put it on her desk with a note that said "TO FURTHER ENHANCE YOUR PLEASURE" or something stupid like that. She said she'd kill me for it but never got around to it. Needless to say they were more discreet after that.

She told me she kind of lost herself in the throes of passion or whatever, but I mean. She was like "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH", it was disturbing.

You take hour long showers? You must be the cleanest person on the planet. Kudos.

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I'm Squarepusher, and I approved this message.

I AM the cleanest person in the world, its a fact. I just zoned out I guess, didn't realise I'd been in there that long till I checked the time.

I'm afraid of sleeping with headphones in too, ever sinse I woke up entwined, it took me ages to free my arm.

I might drop hints to the boyfriend to keep it down a bit, or at least wait till I've been silent enough to know I'm asleep. Its just their timing is horrible. The night before a deadline when I really need to concentrate, sleeping times ect ect. If I dropped hints to her she might die of embarrassment, I wouldn't do that to the poor girl, she gets really uncomfortable around sex conversations and jokes...so much so you'd expect she wouldn't wail.
Ronette your idea is genius though.

Its horrible being on the sexless side of the wall. Especially when you have to wait weeks to see the other half.