I think I've said it before, I was bullied a lot when I was in school. I never went through that head in the toilet horror thank goodness but it was still pretty bad.

Anyway, now I'm working as a photographer in the top newspaper in the country, wich is good, I like pretty much everything about it except taking social photos, like event photography, I LOATHE it, it makes me feel like a fucking scavenger rat. But it's temporary, I guess it's just one step of the journey.

Anyway, I had an assignment today, it was the 90th birthday of some rich woman, and I had to take the pictures, so I get to this really posh apartment, and I'm shocked to see that one of my bullies, this kid who was a fucking asshole lives there!!!!!! it was his fucking apartment, and that was his granny or whatever, I felt like such a fucking low life!!!!!!!! and he was very nice, I guess he matured or who knows, but he was so fucking evil in school. And his mother was there, and she was very nice and I just wanted to kick her in the stomach and punch him in the face.

I'm not an envious person but it doesn't make sense. I'm a good person, always been, and here I am with no money, with a broken family, lonely and unhappy and he is rich, has a happy family and a beautiful girlfriend. I mean c'mon.

I hate not to have any money, hate it, I will never accept it. Never in this life. And that's the reason I work my ass off every single day, because I want to regain the status I once had.

And they were so nice but inside I wanted to die. He and his mother where insistent on me having food or a peace of cake and I politely declined, both times. Internally I wanted to scream: "I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING FOOD YOU MISERABLE CUNT, I'M NOT A FUCKING MINGER JUST BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY AND I'M TAKING PICTURES OF YOUR DISGUSTING FAMILY" but of course I didn't say anything, I just did the job said goodbye and left with tears in my eyes.

Sorry, I had to vent.

Just because they put on happy faces for the company they have over and the camera... doesn't always mean they have happy lives.

i repeat:

LiveJournal.com - Start a Free Blog / Journal Today
www.blogspot.com

Karma is real. the chick my ex cheated on me with crashed her car a few days later

Maybe karma already got him?

Maybe karma will get him later on?

Maybe your negative energy is what keeps you down?

Maybe, um, you're cursed?

NO FUCKING WAY!
Why did you stay and do the job I would of left

Money doesn't equal happiness, dude. And like that person above said, just b/c people are smiling and happy and pleasant, doesn't mean their lives are perfect and problem-free.

I hate to say this, but you're really such a whiny crybaby. I gather you've been through some hardships regarding family and money, and I totally understand how hard that could be, but status isn't going to solve your problem. And money most definitely wont solve your problem. Your problem is bitterness. No point in sitting under a black cloud crying over the shit hand you've been dealt, you've got to work towards your own happiness irrespective of your past and what made you happy back then, b/c chances are good that you probably can't have that exact happiness back. But you can have new happiness. I know it sucks to have to start at the bottom of the ladder but this hopefully brings more sense of achievement later. We all have to do the grunt work before we hit the real challenges, and get the real satisfaction from those.

PS - what recal said also. You know people will mock you on here for this. A few have tried to be helpful to you (I'm sure I have in the past, at least) but you don't seem to take anything on board. It might be best to keep all this to yourself.

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Deux hommes font une promenade amicale. L'un des deux porte un parapluie à son bras.
Il se met à pleuvoir. L'homme n'ouvre pas son parapluie et l'autre lui demande pourquoi.
- Parce que ça ne servirait à rien, lui répond son ami. Il est plein de trous.
- Alors, pourquoi l'as-tu pris?
- Parce que je ne pensais pas qu'il pleuvrait.

but hey, at least all those children in iraq and the like are getting what they deserve.

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If you ever feel useless and depressed, remember: one day you were the fastest spermatozoon of all.

Karma will strike, maybe that tard will end up having a two/three headed child

Personally I never got bullied after elementry school, learned to make those enemies suffer in PE class... dodgeball, hockey, volleyball, etc= revenge
As far as how I avoid past bullies or arses from the past, move as far away as possible. Nova Scotia= happiness

I vent on kittyradio, I take it out of my system unfortunately for you. And what you just said, I know.

I could easily not work everyday and simply stay at home all my life being a miserable idiot like an uncle of mine whom everyone hates, but I'm not going to do that because that's not the life I want to have, so I go out to work and hopefully be a somebody with wealth or at least a decent amount of money that buys me a certain lavish lifestyle and more security, but I hate to work, and I hate not to have any money and I've never been good at looking at the bright side, never, lol. But I keep it to myself and vent it here instead of venting it at co workers or clients the way I would like to because then I would get fired and I can't afford to get fired-

indeed. it may suck now but one day you could be super successful, having the lavish lifestyle and all that jazz, and you'll have worked for it, and you'll know how far you've had to go to get there, just keep going at it.

stay Positive.

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Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?

Maybe they offered you cake because it is the polite thing to do? I mean I'm sure you don't look malnourished or anything, do you?

there is no such thing as karma you asshat.

yes it does bitch

no, it doesnt.
i bet you believe in the concept of hell too.

yes but for some reason it makes me angry. And I feel good saying no to it, and bad about it too. And I would probably be offended if they didn't offer it to me, but it bothers me that they do. There's just no winning.

Why does it make me angry?? maybe I have an inferiority complex and I need to say no as in I don't need it at all, because I need to feel good about myself.

Jesus christ I'm fuck.

Progress, surely?!

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

Yes...it is really the thing to do at birthday parties...

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Speaking of karma I saw this on a bumpersticker today.
If going to church makes you a christian does going to the garage make me a car?