| there is an old woman named margret who sits on a bench on k rd, the local red light districts main road, rain or shine. she has a massive tease of thinning orangey grey hair and wears big fur coats. its impossible to know how old she is. she always has a bottle of booze and a ciggy and she will heckle anyone and everyone, sometimes asking for stuff or sometimes spitting and cursing at you. she is my good luck charm. if margret says "GOOD MORNING LILY!" i know its going to be a good day. she must have people because sometimes she disappears for a while and comes back with a new coat that doesnt smell like pee and shes had her hair done.
theres also a midget who always wears a flannel and pants with an overcoat and has ONE MASSIVE DREADLOCK that is SO LONG HE COULD SLEEP ON IT. he is known around auckland affectionately as 'unidread'. "HEY, I SAW UNIDREAD TODAY!". he carries a backpack all the time. i wonder what is in it. probably all his belongings. he is quite friendly and generally just minds his own business.
also, there is scary foreign tranny. scary foreign tranny is the least convincing sheman you ever saw. s/he always has super short skirts on despite being at least fifty five and having the worst varicose veins you ever saw. extremely foul mouthed and aggressive. i'd hazard a guess that s/he is eastern european, judging by the accent. once pulled a knife stolen from the rotissary chicken place on aforementioned k-rd on a hapless vintage clothing store employee who caught her/him stealing.
there was also once a man who popped out of a bush in a park at my friends and i wearing nothing but a winnie the pooh t-shirt and no pants at all. he asked us if we wanted to see his gollywog. we ran. |