So, I get this little auto-VBulletin message when I log on today that I haven't been active, so I'm starting a thread. I am up early today and angry that my cable that was installed two weekes ago STILL isn't working and today is the first time they could send a tech...so here's what is making me agitated this morning:

1. the fucking "window" they give you when scheduling an appointment, today mine is 8 a.m. to 11 a.m., which in all reality translates to sometime between 8 this morning and 8 tonight because they never show in the window they are supposed to

2. mixed signals from members of the opposite sex

3. having a job you love, but not making enough money at it, so you are seriously considering becoming "voice talent" for an adult chat line, as the pay is better and you work your own hours

4. my inability to follow the rules of punctuation this morning

5. zits

6. when your fingernail breaks just enough so you have to cut the whole thing back or it keeps catching things

7. the Paris Hilton shit. I mean seriously, who the fuck cares?

8. bug bites

9. bugs

10. when someone is mad at you and doesn't say why

what's buggin' you this morning?

xoxo

I feel you on number three.

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Lend me ten pounds and I'll buy you a drink.

the tension in my office this morning is really bugging me.

1. i had to get up.

2. it's hot as fuck. we are having another heat advisory and they expect it to be over 40 degrees today.

3. no desire to work today.

4. my ulcer is acting up and haven't felt well all night.

5. the dumb bitch at tim's who got my order wrong. how hard is it to make tea?

6. dry eyes, my contacts need to be replaced.

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I have to do all the housework.

I have to type up an assignment and print it and stuff. And I have to have it finished before 2 tomorrow or it won't get done.

Stupid rain. I just want to wash my bedsheets and I can't because of the goddamn shitty weather.

what i really hate this morning is when my co-workers make comments about what i'm doing on my computer. just because you can see the screen does NOT mean whatever i'm doing is any of your fucking business. if i want to shop for shoes on my fucking break i don't need a running commentary on it you dumb fuckers.

make up a fake email and send them emails

headaches

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vinaigrette

1.That I woke up before 11
2.That I nagged at my boyfriend last night and I don't think it got to him
3.I just lost all desire to go out today but I have to
4.I have to deal with some asshole starting today
5.This is the last time I'm going to see one of my best friend's until probably christmas time
6.I'm out of espresso

ditto. cleaning a bunch of slimy dishes is not my idea of a good time. But hey, it's my day off.

that on my only day off everyonw is calling and texting me and the fact that i am destined to NEVER sleep in BAH

1. having to get up at 6am
2. chemistry test
3. pre holiday stress
4. shit weather - wind, rain, cold as ice
5. i am tired

that's about it

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is that a really nice german way of saying shut up?

* roadworks right outside my window early in the morning
* three burns on my arm from a stupid sandwich toaster
* hating my job and not being able to find a new

Getting out of bed into the cold, cold morning.
insomnia.
waking up at 5am all the time.

Pretty much everything, so the problem is more likely me than anything specific. However, on my mind is:

• A college friend who I recently visited. I think she may feel I look down on her because I live in NYC and she's a suburban mom. I don't. But, as far as I can tell, since she thinks this, it's ok to keep making fun of me for not living what she thinks of as a regular life. No, I guess I don't really know how to use a regular household washing machine, although I hadn't really been aware of that until I tried to use hers. The last time I had regular use of a non-coin operated washer was 1987. She apparently has a recurring bad dream about realizing she lives in a little tiny New York apartment. Which she seems to think is fine to share with me - maybe she thinks I have nightmares about the suburbs? Actually, more probably she thinks it's something I can handle and she can't. Years ago, when she bought her first house, I said I felt like a total loser compared to her, because I wasn't anywhere near being able to consider buying a home. She said she was totally impressed that I lived on my own in NYC. I suppose I don't feel good enough about my life right now to handle how she's expressing her insecurity. I just know she's telling everyone she knows that I'm terrified of moving to a street that only has residential property on it (she's like me, a constant storyteller). I'm not. I happened to be with her when it occured to me that the street where I'm trying to buy a co-op doesn't seem to have any stores on it, and I said it out loud. She was off and running with "My god, you're so afraid of the suburbs!" and I couldn't get a word in edgewise to explain - it's a two-direction, four-lane street that runs for miles. It's not possible that the residential focus is accidential, it has to be zoned that way. I hadn't thought of that before, and it came together in my head when I was with her.
  
  
• My sister-in-law. Or I guess she's not, since I'm not married, but she loves me as though I was part of the family, which is apparently why she and her husband feel the need to attempt to publically shame my boyfriend into marrying me every time I see them. I've asked them not to do this. I'd like to be married, but it's not that important - the real source of the problem it's become for me is that I want a decision, because I feel like a moron saying 'maybe' everytime someone asks. But I hate the idea of being the woman desperate for 'the ring,' and in any case, my boyfriend responds to this type of pressure by saying nothing and then just not doing whatever he was being pressured about, even if would have otherwise done it. So, the sum total of any effect this campaign could have is making me feel bad and putting off any decision on his part, because he hates to be roped into things by people ganging up on him. So now I pretty much have to say 'I can stop coming to the family events if you feel my relationship doesn't meet your standards.' Which I know is not what they mean, but just telling them to stop isn't working - they either forget, or think it's a token protest. I've minimized how it bothers me because I know they mean well. Now I'm fucking obessed with it.

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We are sorry, the mind you have reached is not a working mind.
Please hang up and die again.
Please hang up,
And die again.

- not getting ANY of the jobs i wanted. hence no insurance with the order from the neuro to get another MRI by the end of the year and a spinal tap soon.
- $7000 in hospital bills that havent been dealt with yet and they are sending me to collections even tho i filled my financial assistance info, but guess what? yeah they havent even looked at it yet!


the upsides?

i cried, and the boss told me not to worry, and he's going to work me overtime this summer to get some money earned and if things all go right another aide will become a tech and im #2 on the list and he will hire me then and i can get back on insurance.

my parents might actually help me with my hospital bills