Yes, now your dreams of a new life have been dashed. Here's some Nyquil.

no, I'm still pretty confident my life is going to be happy.

I'm quite sure that you don't know what real suffering even is.

I don't think that's entirely true. Life is just different shades of gray. Some people walk in the most horrible darkness and they now it face to face and they survive. Other people don't go through such darkness, their lifes are more gray or white than black and some people have really easy going peaceful lives. All shoulders have a cross to bare. Some crosses are godawful ones, others not so much but for 9 months this has been my cross and I think it's been lifted. I'm living in the now and it's good.

nice to know your life is turning around, wish mine was!