I was pulled over by the police for pulling ballet dancing moves in the middle of the road while listening to Scott Walker sings Jaque Brel.

They said I looked "demented"

but they let me off, so near yet so far.

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If you ever feel useless and depressed, remember: one day you were the fastest spermatozoon of all.

awesome.
go alannosejob!

i got strip searched once, but no arrest was made

however my dance moves should really have me locked up.

amazing.

I got searched when I was younger when we were smoking up. Luckily we threw the weed on the grass so police didn't find it

yeah man. i watched billy elliot a few nights ago so I was pulling all these swirls and stuff. I deserved to go down. I was screaming "MOTHER CAN'T YOU HEAR ME YELL, YOUR BABY BOY'S GONE BACK TO HELL!"

Brel is teh awesome

__________________
If you ever feel useless and depressed, remember: one day you were the fastest spermatozoon of all.

once I got stopped by the polis for wearing russian paratrooper goggles while wandering about the countryside at 4am. They were like "what's with the goggles?" and I said "it's new fashion, man." haha.

I no way have the guts to be like that now.

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If you ever feel useless and depressed, remember: one day you were the fastest spermatozoon of all.

I got searched at Finsbury park station once. They had fuckin sniffer dogs and they got me. I didnt have anything on me, but they could smell the skunk from earlier.
They took me into the back room and i was shitting bricks. I thought they were gonna strip search, but they just searched my clothes. Didnt find shit, and then went on to give me a 20min lecture on the dangers of drugs. I was 15 at the time.
They asked me what i wanted to be when i was older so they could make a point that it wouldnt happen if i was on drugs, so i said, an actor. He didnt know what to say to that and let me go.

Then a year later i got arrested in the west end for smoking. Me and my mate went down an alley, and apparently there were cctv cams. They thought i was trying to mug her, and a load of police charged down with fucking plastic shields and everything. Was fucking surreal. They realised I wasnt trying to mug her when she started screaming abuse at them. Took our last spliff and put us in the back of the car to the station. We were actually crying with laughter when they did the whole "you do not have to say anything, anything you do say......" speech. Just like the Bill.

Romannose has way better Fed stories though...

the pigs here never arrest me they just steal my drugs
i've had warrants out (for shit so stupid its embarassing) but they never got me

i never been threatened for being crazy though! i dont think i have, maybe... yeah i'm jealous i think i'll have to work on that

You can get stopped for looking demented? How rude!

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Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

I look demented. Always. But I've never been stopped for it. More like avoided.

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you're out of control, Alan.

agreed.
lay off the hash

ignore. smoke to your hearts content!

I'm always afraid that something similar is going to happen to me.

the exact same thing happened to me

Aww. That's cooler than my lying to the police... I was drunk on Aberdeen beach in the dark at about midnight, and lying face-down in a pool of my own vomit, having my back rubbed by my hot best friend who I'd just been having a fairly disgusting lesbian encounter with (I swear that's all true) when two police officers came up and said "What are you doing?!" and I said "Sunbathing".

I don't remember the rest of that. I believe my friend was like "She's ok, I'll look after her, sorry... sorry..." but I'd prefer to think they screeched "GETINTHEBACKOFTHEVAN!" a la scary Withnail & I policeman.

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hahahaha that's a brilliant lie.

the police have no right to stop you lying on a beach at midnight though. bloody facists.

__________________
If you ever feel useless and depressed, remember: one day you were the fastest spermatozoon of all.

Which I think is far more sensible.

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

This whole story reminds me of your dancing Micjael Jackson avatar.