do you like to change how you look or how your life is every now and then?
I want to bleach my whole hair white blonde soon, it will make me look completely different. It's small but still...I'm excited.
I have a friend called Helene who just likes to up adn move countries all the time and get a whole new load of friends and do something completely different.
do you ever think it is time to change a certain aspect of your personality? or your look? or your whole entire life?
what do you think is scarier; big changes or none at all?

none at all

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albert, you are the father

same, much scarier. But I've become stuck in a bit of a rut lately. I'm going to save up and go to South America in march I hope, some fun big change for a bit. My friend Helene is mental but I envy her life sometimes and admire her. I think she thinks of her life in terms of whether what she does would be worth someone writing about.

I thought that chopping my hair all off would be a change, but surprisingly everyone said that it was as if my new hair cut was waiting for me. As if i was meant to have short hair. That was a little disappointing, though I do like my hair that length.

Last year I changed a lot of my personality, I think...or maybe I just had avenues to actually act out certain aspects of my personality? In any case, when I came back I got a couple of, "You've changed." They weren't negative, they were...pensive. As if the statement was done upon reflection of how much time had passed.

No changes scare the fuck out of me. Staying in one place scares me. I can't own a house. It's too many roots in one place. Too many responsibilities to one thing. Helene sounds awesome.

i agree. i don't know if it's out of fear of commitment but i can't do anything if it's going to tie me down for long. even my job, i work as a temp. and my previous job was a six month contract. i don't like having too many things, basically if i can't fit everything i need into my backpack i need to many things. especially the last couple of months: everything i do is geared towards travel. i find it so exciting... i guess i'm grateful to my exboyfriend, even though we broke up, and it's shitty, without him i would never have gotten round to getting up off my fat arse and doing things. my life is pretty dull right now, but i'm more excited than i've ever been. i can't wait to get on the plane next year and just not come home for YEARS. there's so much to see and do. oh i've gone off on a tangent here. lol. i change my hair often

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you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

ruts can be realized safety. but prolonged ruts are scary and i'm in the midst of one. i want to invite change, but i'm not able to be as specific as needed. i'm scared if i'm not specific, i'll end up with undesirable chage.

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albert, you are the father

a rut is pretty hard to get out of. i was in one for years. it took one spur of the moment decision for me, to go see the chili peppers in manchester when the tour was announced. so i did and it all sort of snowballed. nobody believed i would actually do it when i told them, lol. but i did it, all by myself. the confidence gained from doing something like that has changed me.


i have no doubt i will be in a rut again at some point, but right now i've just gotten out of one, it feels excellent.

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you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

sometimes I like the idea of change much more than I like actual change. and yet I know that change is important in order to grow but change is scary.

I think big changes and no changes are probably equally as scary.

I'm in a rut as well right now, being unhappy with my job and career prospects (both are ok, but I don't want to do that anymore). The trouble is that, with a little debt and bills to pay, I feel like I can't get up and leave. It was when I realised that I'm only staying at my job to pay off my debts, and not because I actually enjoy it, that I decided that I cannot motivate myself to go much further with it. All being well, I'll be there until next July so that I may take care of my most pressing debt (the gas bill, which has been underestimated for a year and which I need to settle before I can move out of my rented flat). Once that debt is settled, I will simultaneously quit my job and quit my flat. Thereafter, I'll be returning to full time study. I'm taking a huge financial risk (I will still have another outstanding - although not huge - debt to take care of during my studies).

It's terrifying but the prospect of being in this tiny flat and working for that job for the next 40 years is also pretty terrifying. I could easily stick it out until the big money arrives, but I don't want to go through all of the many years of work just for the money, when the satisfaction is never going to come.

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Deux hommes font une promenade amicale. L'un des deux porte un parapluie à son bras.
Il se met à pleuvoir. L'homme n'ouvre pas son parapluie et l'autre lui demande pourquoi.
- Parce que ça ne servirait à rien, lui répond son ami. Il est plein de trous.
- Alors, pourquoi l'as-tu pris?
- Parce que je ne pensais pas qu'il pleuvrait.

Yeah i change my look quite often. I change my life about every 5 years or so. Friends and personality have always been the same though which is good

i envy this. i think it would be fun but i get caught up in the logistics like how much moving costs, finding an apartment, job, etc. and it just ends up turning stressful.

None at all
I get restless if I'm doing the same thing for too long no matter what it is. I feel like I'm not growing at all, and that freaks me out. I'd rather grow than be secure and bored.
Though I hate the transitions we go through to make that change. I feel like puking everytime I need to pack my things out of one apt and into another.

Well said. I am in a similar situation and feel similarly rutted. I have only been at my job a few months, but have already bored of it. After a few more months I think I'll be insane. If it weren't for all the beaurocratic red tape bullshit involved in entering higher education I think I would have done it a long time ago.

I am stuck in a rut at the moment, and the thought of staying this way scares me more than doing something that would change my life completely. My main goal is to travel, but until I get some money together there is very little I can do about it. I have alot of ambition, and my fear is that I will never be able to fulfil the goals I have.

Well that's pretty much what I'm looking at now. It's a total headspin, all the procedures and requirements and financial/support aspects of it. It's pretty hard to motivate myself to go through with it all, when I have it pretty easy right here in my current job. But as soon as I think about the next forty years I'll spend doing this same shit, I just cannot accept the easy route.

I think good things can come to those who take risks and go through all the bullshit. I must admit, I'm glad I came to this now and not later, even though I do feel like I'm jumping into it fairly late in the game (I'm only 21, but I'm already seeing hurdles in my plans due to leaving it a little too long). If I had a mortgage and children to consider, it would be very different.

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Deux hommes font une promenade amicale. L'un des deux porte un parapluie à son bras.
Il se met à pleuvoir. L'homme n'ouvre pas son parapluie et l'autre lui demande pourquoi.
- Parce que ça ne servirait à rien, lui répond son ami. Il est plein de trous.
- Alors, pourquoi l'as-tu pris?
- Parce que je ne pensais pas qu'il pleuvrait.

are you saving though? because i wanted to travel for ages, but i didn't bother to put any money away, now i want to go and it's taking ages because i have to start saving the entire amount from scratch. it's annoying.

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you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

I finished uni in june, so I'm skint, and I am having to start from scratch. I've had no luck getting a job either, so I'm doing shitty temp work and not getting paid very much. All adding to the stuck in a rut feeling! But nice one on doing what you did for RHCP, has it brought about prolonged changes for you?

well yeah, i'm back now. and i want to travel more. so i need a lot more money than last time (UK Visa is a bitch, but a blessing in disguise: i need 2000 pounds in my bank account. which is loads. so anyway, if i didn't need that amount of money, i would ahve gone over already and had to work some shitty job there straight away. and wheres the fun in that? so yeah)
so i have to save and i am.

i also temp, but i make more money than i was fulltime. maybe you should get a new agency? shop around.

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you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

Where are you planning to go? I went and signed up for more agencies last week, but I've just moved out of the city into the sticks and it is crap for finding any interesting work, so I'm resigned to the fact I face a few months of mind numbing monotony. But it's not like I don't want to get out there and do stuff, so I'm glad that I'm not content the way I am at the moment, it will spur me on to get off my arse as opposed to sit back and think "oh well, it will never happen"