i'm walking home late and am swarmed by a gang of teenage thugs.

little bastards who have gotten away with too much and have seen too many movies. i don't care about excuses, if you hurt people you're worthless.

there are guys and there are girls. white boys in wife beaters and shorter than me and vicious bitch snatch with daddy issues. girls instigate.

they get your wallet then they get you on the ground and kick you in the head, ribs, groin.

i pull out my gun and shoot the first guy in the head. haha fucker. i don't give a shit what your excuse was.

screaming. next i shoot who i judge to be the lippiest cunt in the gut. because i hear gut wounds are bad. i don't care about your excuse either bitch. altruism would be blowing your brains out too, because with you dead this world is a better place. it'll happen soon enough, but this way i get what i want too. what? oh come on, don't flatter yourself hon. i just want to know it hurts. it sounds like it hurts.

the rest can run. i've lost my ambition. a few wild shots. if any of them take, that's good. if not, that's fine too.

i will contain cowboy swagger. i'll try. whatever. i've done good.

this is your fantasy?

whatever happened to a good, old-fashioned threesome with The Pet Shop Boys or licking melted cheese off Steven Seagal's scrotum?

they are classics for a reason.

What about Fred Dursts jockstrap?

I hate the word 'hon'. ruijeotyr.

or go give a handjob to andy dick

your schtick is getting really old

is this the snuff one!?

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you take your coffee black the way your mother would.