so last night, at 10:30 i left my place to zoom down to Safeway, because i really wanted some celery with peanut butter, and i have no food whatsoever. i was totally groovin' in my car and went into the store and did my shopping, to quickly find that a rather scary older man was coinicidentally always in the same asile as me, looking at the same stuff.

so, of couse, i put on my 'ahh shit, another crazy, time to act crazy in response to ward him off', so i start mumbling to myself and singing the Selena song that's playing in the store, and he's still following me, and then what happened next is a crazy-encounter for the record books.

so first he introduces himself, as daniel, and he's i'd guess... 35-40ish and about 6 inches shorter than i am, visibly a little drunk, and has scruffy facial hair. he tells that i'm pretty, and would make a good wife because i've got wifley things in my kart (a potted plant, glamour magazine, diet coke, peanut butter, celery, and post-its). sure. whatever. then he asks me if i'm his sister, i am not.

so i move on down to the register, still sortof brushing him off, when he attempts to buy my groceries for me using a blockbuster card from the 90's. the checker makes no attempt to help me get rid of him, and asks Daniel how he's doing tonight, which gets Daniel to launch into a HUGE rant about how it's an Iraqi war veteran, who's on leave, and is being deployed to Korea next week, and how I, his wife, is being a bitch and won't listen to him... i buy my shit and attempt to leave.

Daniel follows me to my car, and tries to get in the back seat, at which point i decide i should probably call the cops, but realize i dont have my fucking cell phone, so i'm trying not to anger this crazy, and insist that he take 5 steps back because he's in my personal space bubble, which he does, and i get in my car REALLY fast, and the second i shut the door he started hitting the window, and i thought he was going to break it, and kicking my tires screaming "BITCH I LOVES YOU" (yes, pluralized), "FUCK YOU WHORE. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D LEAVE A VET LIKE THIS! I LOVES YOU BITCH!", so i try to gtfo as fast as i can without running him over, and the whole 5 other people in the entire parking lot are staring, and looking at me like i'm the bitch. then he threw some trash in the direction of my car, and i drove home.

but really, the worst part is that i feel guilty. like, i should have called the cops when i got home and made sure that this Daniel guy got checked into social services, or AA or in a shelter for the night atleast... and i still feel guilty... that i didn't help him?

for reals, telll me your best encouter with a crazy person who claimed they were in love with you. because they seem to happen to me way to often.

__________________

you should be nicer to homeless bums, and give them a place to stay.

and really, i thought about doing that.
i need a life, i need to get more jaded, i should move to new york.

__________________

being molested and having all your shit stolen is such a small price to pay for helping out a fellow human being

daniel is a seeeedy name.