have you ever been stuck in a mire, a swamp of loneliness, self doubt, crippling low self esteem and fear? how did you get out of it?? therapy? pills? I'm open to suggestions.

Scientology

well i haven't.
but if i were you i'd try therapy. not sure whether it'll help, but doing nothing won't get you anywhere either, so there isn't really anything to lose?

Actualy doing nothing is the best thing to do if it's just a phase. If it's regular then maybe therapy but meds do nothing for you in the long run. At the end of the day meds are the easy thing for the "docs" since it gets you off their backs and feeding into an illusion that your "ok now". Have you ever thought of not doing anything and listen to yourself? I think people have forgotton how to do that. It's cliche' but you have the answers.

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- Please note irony is wasted on you

you're new here so you can't know but dolores has been whining ever since i joined here, which was more than 2 years ago. so i doubt it's a phase or anything (s)he can deal with by her/himself

Then I would have to suggest maybe taking a look at yourself and contemplate if it's not just a attention seeking mechanism... That's not to cause any offense btw and if it is then maybe getting a hobby.... Clay pigeon shooting?

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- Please note irony is wasted on you

Meds are not the answer! lol

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- Please note irony is wasted on you

well I was fired from my job on december of last year and it was horrible for me, I like broke down and up until a few months ago, I did nothing. I just withdrew from everything and everyone and just stayed home for a good 4 or 5 months and I kinda got worse.

That's where I decided to go to therapy. And then the therapist sent me to a psychiatrist and I was doing both at one point wich was expensive plus the zoloft that the psychiatrist gave me.

I felt better for a while, I even got the motivation to get back to college and try a new career and go in a different direction, but the improvement plateaud(sp?), it stagnated and I told her that I didn't feel I could take anything of use out of the therapy, and I had already stopped with the zoloft and the psychiatrist because it was too expensive, so she recomended a psychologist with a cognitive conductual approach and I said I would call her and I terminated the therapy with the first psychologist.

And now I'm right backwhere I started. I feel the same, so any progress I did with those other two was just an illusion.

I haven't called the cognitive therapist yet and I'm hesitant, I mean I don't want to keep throwing away my hard earned money.

keira knightlys pushup bra looks painful in the duchess

It's tough to realise but all this is self-indulgence... I battled depression for years and in the end I just stopped fighting. It was a strange feeling to just give way to suffering. But after it washed over me it was like... The last of my humanity was striped from me and in that I found promise. I didn't try to kill myself and even now I'm left with a sense of jadedness with life. I have no key to give you and no promise. But I can tell you nothing will be found at the effect of a pill. The words of a doctor. Or the continuation of the illusions you foster both in yourself and others. The world is shallow but it's not all a bad thing. People need illusions to function but there is a point where it becomes counter productive.

A friend once told me many years ago that all tears shed are ones of selfishness. Took me awhile to realise that it was true. Have patience... And hope you find abit of peace.

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- Please note irony is wasted on you

it's just that I've developed this really strong fear of life, like if I get invited to a party all these bad thoughst invade me and I literally can't leave the house, I instantly go into a fight or flight response and I chose flight, to escape, in other words to say at home.

I know what you mean, sometimes I also think that it's all self indulgence, like it's nothing, because for instance I can work and go to university but I can't go out and deal with life. Why?? why can I do one and not the other? is it all this self creatred drama?? or maybe dealing with work is not that personal and I can cope? I have no idea.

I really don't know what to do, I'm not making much mental or emotinal progress on my own.

That's because you focusing on what could be not probably would be. I can't really comment anyfurther since frankly 1) I don't fear death and so I cannot contribute anything more of value 2) I'm not being drawn into this illusion of yours anymore lol Unless I can give some abuse I'm not entertained upholding others delusions. That's why I get along with weave ^_^

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- Please note irony is wasted on you

Booze.

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Deux hommes font une promenade amicale. L'un des deux porte un parapluie à son bras.
Il se met à pleuvoir. L'homme n'ouvre pas son parapluie et l'autre lui demande pourquoi.
- Parce que ça ne servirait à rien, lui répond son ami. Il est plein de trous.
- Alors, pourquoi l'as-tu pris?
- Parce que je ne pensais pas qu'il pleuvrait.

Can I get this straight, did you wean yourself of the Zoloft or just completely stop? If you stopped just like that, perhaps that could explain the "plateau" which in fact may be a "bump". A case of trying to run before you could walk, maybe? I'm sure going to see someone who employs a cognitive approach might be all well and fine, but stopping meds straight away (unless you have nasty side effects) has "bad idea" written all over it.

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*Huggy Ragnarsson Is My Co-Pilot*

"coming up on kittyradio, an erotic thriller featuring Shannon Tweed..."

All previous 'jokey' replies I have made aside, ^what this post said.

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Deux hommes font une promenade amicale. L'un des deux porte un parapluie à son bras.
Il se met à pleuvoir. L'homme n'ouvre pas son parapluie et l'autre lui demande pourquoi.
- Parce que ça ne servirait à rien, lui répond son ami. Il est plein de trous.
- Alors, pourquoi l'as-tu pris?
- Parce que je ne pensais pas qu'il pleuvrait.

weI stopped taking them but after like a week I called the doctor and told her, I can't take the medicine because I can't pay 125.00 dollars for a box of pills, and then she gave me two boxes that day and gave me directions to slowly get off the medicine.

I mean I did not have the crushing heroinwithdrawl like experience some people go through. I didn't feel bad or anything, I'm just feeling the same way I did as before I got into therapy and the pills. Wich basically means, nothing worked.

read about dianetics

Yes! I told a very self-indulged acquaintance recently that I cannot play an active role in his myth because I have my own myth I'm playing out. He said he understood. This week he called a bunch of his friends, but none of them were willing to pick up the ball, so he called and left a message saying he was in Denver and he was handing the reins over to me to take care of while he is out of state. He's running for Congress.

I didn't return this call. My myth doesn't include public service.

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Marerophilia:
A depth of love that youth can seldom appreciate or communicate;
A love that never can die for it is a wild seed living inside us, and it is what it is;
Love: that which bonds the reality of one's being to the mystery of the unknown;
Wildflowers: evidence revealed."
~~carefulcarpenter

If you died then you would be complete. Like Mini Me and Dr Evil.

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