It off of it slowly.

I feel like death would cleanse me from all the mire of my mental fuck ups and give me peace and a true self. But life is ironic so I'll probably live till I'm 95, so I'm in this mental swampy mire for the long run.

Actualy I do have one more thing to add, and that's

"Suffering is a choice, not a given"

__________________

- Please note irony is wasted on you

Suffering is an out-of-balance condition; a disorganized conflict between the outer self-image and the inner self-respect. The key to dissolving the barriers is LEARNING. Learning is a process of self-organization.

Life is a University. Pay attention. Depression is a state of hibernation and its healing affects. Work with your greater forces and let go. Life is teaching you a valuable lesson.

DoloresHaze--If you want me to help you change you life--PM me. Nothing goes on the board; this is a private affair.

__________________
Marerophilia:
A depth of love that youth can seldom appreciate or communicate;
A love that never can die for it is a wild seed living inside us, and it is what it is;
Love: that which bonds the reality of one's being to the mystery of the unknown;
Wildflowers: evidence revealed."
~~carefulcarpenter

well I've never had a boyfriend or love in my life and I am alone completely, I have people around me but I am totally alone.

I don't control that, that is just the way it is. I can suffer for it or ignore it but I can't ignore it because it's too huge, the loneliness is of humongous proportions. I can't ignore it and that is why it makes me suffer.

"To Help You Change You Life" is most favorably accomplished by becoming a carefree copulator's Spiritual Wife. Beware of big sweaty hamfisted guys named Sophia_ offering to change your life in a private affair.~~Careful Crossdresser

"True Bliss could be attained as a HCH is bound and shanghaid from the Isthmus to Santa Cruz to be the second live-in spiritual wife. Run for your life Grasshopper." ~~Hooligans

__________________
Sophy_'s Motto of His Spousal Invalubility: "My wife does not want to loose [sic] the house--I imagine she would get along fine with out me, for she is an attractive woman who could easily find someone to be her companion. As a man, I do the things for her she can't find in another woman." ~~carefulcarpnetter

oh jesus

okay, i admit, finding someone you really get on with is certainly hard, especially when you're different from most people.

but just because it's hard, does not mean it's impossible. it also requires some work. sometimes you actually have to find friends or a boyfriend.

if there is something you're particularly interested in, like photography (which is what you studied and what is your job, right?) or, especially artistic photography, try to find a group or course or something on it in your area. you might find a soulmate or at least someone who could become a very close friend when spending time with like minded people.

at least this is how it worked for me. of course it is no guarantee for instant success. but sitting around and whining will not help either.

(if you are too shy irl, try meeting people online, on a messageboard for example.
oh, and just a small advice: if you constantly whine about your shitty life - instead of letting people see your personality and interests and maybe see something they can relate to - the internet thing won't work either)

Dolores, Care to Join Us ?? We're all quite good with our helping hands.

__________________
Sophy_'s Motto of His Spousal Invalubility: "My wife does not want to loose [sic] the house--I imagine she would get along fine with out me, for she is an attractive woman who could easily find someone to be her companion. As a man, I do the things for her she can't find in another woman." ~~carefulcarpnetter

therapy is good. judging from the success i've had w/thearipists, (they were more WAY more fucked up than me), i'd say self-thearapy.

like write a list of what you want to change.
force yourself to list 25 things that make you happy.
be good to yourself.
set little goals & achieve them.
do positive affirmations.
pm me if you want more suggestions.