some of my so-called friends are not needed in my life any more. i feel a lot better.

emotional vampires are after me, help me out, please!

physical & pyschic vampires want me, too, cos i love to give, and they take advantage of it.

my mom (r.i.p.) used to say, when i felt used, "there are givers & takers in this world". can't two givers be together? i sure believe it & hope so.

i am so over "helping" other humans until i get so upset, i tell them to fuck off. i don't always mean it, totally.

that sounds like a win-win situation to me. Isn't the purpose of giving to benefit someone else, or do you hope they become disadvantaged by it? You should thank them for allowing you to give.

that's a bit black and white. people are givers and takers, they just tend to like taking when they realise you're willing to give. you're in control of all giving and taking, i wouldn't turn it into a crusade otherwise you'll turn into some bitter psycho accusing everyone of being vampires (which they are, but still)

god i hate people. i want pet birds, lots of them.

i think the best thing is to accept that people (yourself included) are going to be shitty, that you will never ever ever escape human drama until death, and that's only if you're lucky and the whole unsatisfied ghosts mulling among us isn't true. bullshit and suffering are just going to keep on happening forever, and the best thing you can do is just go forward with as little attachment to the outcome of situations as possible.

i say all that, but believe me, i have the helper complex and i know how much it blows. and some people have the need to be helped complex and i think those people together are generally bad combinations. but not always. and i don't think any of it is necessarily for life. and i'm drunk and babbling sorry.

thanks, all three of you. i needed to hear it.

any more opinions are greatly apriciated.

yes, Ruth, my mom was way too blk & wht.

my question is ; can't two givers be lovers/friends?

the taker is always best off, i think, the giver, if not a bit of a masochist, is not, am i right?

i've had that give/give situation only a couple of times, & want it back!

What was that horribly sappy Simpsons quote: "Anyone who really cares will leave you for someone who needs them more."

I empathise, because if you get a reputation for being a nice guy that people can talk to, the second you have something else to do, people think you're a monster and that you hate them. Best bet is to act like a cold heartless cunt from the outset of meeting people, and that way when you DO help them out they'll actually notice, and they'll come to you when they need you rather than when they just want some attention.

How about a banishing spell?

YES. KR needs moar spells.

I should start up a thread offering Wiccan services i'd be dead good at it me! Ask me for spells etc... lol
Good idea??

I empathize with you 100%. I'm all too happy to be there for other people. I enjoy listening more than speaking. But there are way too many people who are convinced that their problems are the only ones worth talking about. I'm trying hard to not let their attitude cause me to become a TOTAL psycho bitch. The flip side, though, is how wonderfully refreshing a person who is not like this can be. So, if you can, focus on the friends you have who are able to balance the giving with the taking.

Come on, giving will not kill you.

Ruth you should have a parrot.

__________________
Who needs love when there's Southern Comfort?

"If you're not giving it you're not getting it"
~~carefulcarpenter

Unconditionally.

Life is give and take; two opposite ends of a pendulum. When you are with someone that is living to the extreme end of things then it is up to you to allow the pendulum to swing. Give a bit less (ego creates expectations of reciprocity) and let the other have some determination of how much they want to give. Unconditional giving comes from the heart and not everyone has developed the connection.

If one is truly a giver, and gives at the level which they find their balance, then this should not be a problem to be matched with a taker. But if one wants balance then one must go within to find the source of that love which they are seeking.

"We can only give from our own source of love; there is no taking love-- only giving; choose your recipients with compassion and generosity of spirit."
~~carefulcarpenter

__________________
Marerophilia:
A depth of love that youth can seldom appreciate or communicate;
A love that never can die for it is a wild seed living inside us, and it is what it is;
Love: that which bonds the reality of one's being to the mystery of the unknown;
Wildflowers: evidence revealed."
~~carefulcarpenter

That is a heaving pile of trite bullshit that has absolutely no relevance to this thread. Your answer here basically amounts to:

"If you were more awesome (like I am) you wouldn't have this problem. Here are some quotes about why come I'm so awesome." ~~carefulcarpenter

Maybe, from now on, you could just post your shitty shit in your own shitty threads?

The complimentary aspect to love is appreciation: if you can match up with people who appreciate you and your giving then you will discover the true meaning of give and take. Otherwise you can become bitter because the takers don't appreciate you; your energy is going into a void. Negative people get pleasure when they see you fall.

__________________
Marerophilia:
A depth of love that youth can seldom appreciate or communicate;
A love that never can die for it is a wild seed living inside us, and it is what it is;
Love: that which bonds the reality of one's being to the mystery of the unknown;
Wildflowers: evidence revealed."
~~carefulcarpenter

Whatever. The reality is that most people are stuck with a certain changeable pool of people, and have the choice of either learning to deal with them or avoiding them. Acting like a complete nutcase so that everyone is cautiously civil to you all the time may be alright for some, but for others it's very much a last resort.

FLOWER OF LIFE

A Poem by Eileen Finch Cain


F eel the goodness in all forms of life
L ove all things; let go of strife
O pen your petals; let love flow in
W iden the gap; let love grow within
E rase the scars of the past
R est in the assurance that only love lasts

O wn your self-worth in spite of what others may say
F ind again the peace in your day

L ive your potential; let the world know
I nto yourself let a new energy flow
F ind out you have so much to give
E mbrace love; laugh and life

Be joyous and free
Be all that you are and ever could be!

__________________
Marerophilia:
A depth of love that youth can seldom appreciate or communicate;
A love that never can die for it is a wild seed living inside us, and it is what it is;
Love: that which bonds the reality of one's being to the mystery of the unknown;
Wildflowers: evidence revealed."
~~carefulcarpenter

Are there only two choices?

__________________
Marerophilia:
A depth of love that youth can seldom appreciate or communicate;
A love that never can die for it is a wild seed living inside us, and it is what it is;
Love: that which bonds the reality of one's being to the mystery of the unknown;
Wildflowers: evidence revealed."
~~carefulcarpenter

Pretty much, unless you can tell me of others. I doubt that there's many other options; apart from anything else, more people would take them.

In a way, "deal with it" covers everything, if one considers procrastination to be a way of "dealing".

How about accepting them for what they are?
How about working to change your perspective of where you fit in?

I don't believe you must "fit in" to their view of what "reality is...". If you go along with their view of reality then you will be assisting to create that reality. If it is a negative perspective on life then you become negative. By accepting that they are the negative in a balanced world then you can choose to be the positive counterpoint.

Life is a multiplicity of options if one looks deeper.

__________________
Marerophilia:
A depth of love that youth can seldom appreciate or communicate;
A love that never can die for it is a wild seed living inside us, and it is what it is;
Love: that which bonds the reality of one's being to the mystery of the unknown;
Wildflowers: evidence revealed."
~~carefulcarpenter