I am working on some ideas that to experience love, you must be able to give up all resentment in your life. Beneath all anger and resentment there is fear. Fear of losing something in life. Whatever that may be.

The fear could be of losing self worth, financial security. family (relationships ) There are all kinds of fear.. I think while living in resentment we tend to treat the world around us with contempt.

So I am looking for some thoughtful respones on this subject.


Love me..!

Well there are different forms of love, just as there are different types of anger. Each situation is a bit different don't you think?

Desire for what you can't have, desire not to lose what you already have. Desire builds up resentment and fear... that's Buddhism.

Thanks Doll.. I am not sure I understand Budissm much. But what I was thinking if you can't forgive someone can you you really love them..Or anyone else. I was also thinking that resentment has a different angle that anger. It is more of I am pissed and I will get you back. So not being able to forgive keeps you locked in the mode of fear.

Devilish. I'm not sure I think there is a lot of different forms of Love or anger. I don't know that you can love a little or be angry a little.. Sure some of the forms may trigger a larger response or emotion. But is there really a difference.

Gov.

you a Buddist by any chance

(just read elarier replies, what a silly-billy)

Not a Buddist.. I don't think it is silly.. But you have your opinion thanks

Thanks

Buddhism, well, I 'll give ya the Buddhist perspective on love, which is quite different than, say, love in Western society. In Buddhism, love is wanting to help others, unconditionally. If it's conditional, then it's the 'near enemy' of love, conditional love.. This is big in Buddhism, the idea of detachment ... conditional love is attached, meaning desires such as not wanting to be separated, etc, come into play instead, and thus suffering.

Hatred meanwhile is wanting to make someone unhappy ...

Anger is one of the four lower worlds and is connected with the selfish ego. I had a book on the world of Anger as part of the Ten Worlds of Nichiren Buddhism, I don't got it now, but uhm from the internet, you can just scroll down to the world of Anger!-->

What are the Ten Worlds?

What the Ten Worlds respresent to me is a reasonable way of explaining the states I find myself ...

Thanks Doll.. The ten words is of interest. Actually maybe I do understand more about Buddism than I thought. I have read a lot of Thich Nhat Hahn. I guess I never thought as it a learning about Buddism but I guess it is.

Anger as hate would make me think that to forgive would release the hate. I think resentment as a long term lingering anger and the reason for thinking that forgiveness would lead to love.

That being said I can think of people at times over a life time that still can bring up some anger.. Kind of why I believe forgiving leads to love.


Easy to say not easy to do..


Gov..!

Ooh...i meant you love your children differently than you love, say, your significant other. But I guess thats a whole other can of worms. LOL. The anger thing I agree with you on because anger is basically anger.

Forgiveness isn't really a Buddhist concept.

Sounds like the anger yer talking about is from a cycle of thinking, of going back over old wounds, the same way, and out of that, the anger flickers again. They would try to break the habit ... breathe deeply, relax ... see things thru the others eyes ... 'cradle the anger in yer arms with outmost tenderness.'

Well that's the unconditional vs the conditional. Somewhat. Most parents want to help their child, and don't really care what they get back other than knowing that they are helping raise their kids.

Meanwhile in a relationship people go in knowing what they want and what they are prepared to give ...

Dollpartz.. I know some people that would require a larger set of lungs ( Deep Breathing) But I do know this is true.

The hardest part is to see the part self takes in the relationship. What was my part in it. Then it is easier to forgive the other person for there response to the action you took. I truly believe there are always two people in every relationship both play there part.. And there are usually triggers from past relationships. Even from Childhood. They become automatic. Without any thought process.

Hard to see through the eye's of others without seeing yourself..?

I believe if we could see more of our part it would be much easier to forgive. Producing a Loving mind.

Actually I have had that experience. That relationship produces very little energy for me.

Gov..!

Ya, uhm ... seeing things thru the other's eyes, like, their ten Worlds, how that operated for them, their desires and their suffering--getting the whole picture, you know, the reality. To develop understanding. Cuz Buddhists think understanding solves everything.

And I would guess since anger is ego-related, I would say people who have it should give themselves a break ... be nice to themselves and happy with themselves. Stabilize the ego.

I'm not really a Buddhist expert, I hope I don't come off sounding that way. I just read a couple books on it and liked the ten worlds concept.

this is a good thread. i'll write something more indepth on the topic later. (but i'm subscribing to see what else is said in the meantime)

it's too simplistic to put these emotions one up against the other. and it's stupid to think love is esoteric