Everytime somebody says a negative thing to you, it's actually how they feel about themselves.
It says that they're unsatisfied with their own lives and is totally unrelated to you, no reflection on you whatsoever.
I wish I'd realized this sooner, because some people of the same mindset as me tend to turn things in on themselves when they're verbally attacked by other people. This is the most stupid, unproductive thing to do at all times. People love people who love themselves.
I am of course a raging hypocrite having posted countless catty comments in the horrible hair and kae up thread but in my defence that's just a tongue in cheek look at adolescene and how I looked just as ridiculous in my early teens.

not every time, just some of the time

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they made soup out of my research turtles.

Like, when you want it to be, right?

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His last request was a bulletproof vest or a god

I used to despise the word 'haters' but I don't ever want to be one.
If I see a pretty girl my automatic reaction is to give a compliment, not pick her about because I feel bad about my own flaws. Similarly if I see somebody that seems a little misguided in the fashion stakes I wouldn't dream of humiliating them to their face. It's mean and unnecessary.
I also can't bear to watch that awful you tube clip that was circulating around perez ages ago, where tara reid is outside an L.A club and isn't on the guestlist. Paris Hilton then comes swanning over smugly and walks straight in. It's soul destroying to the point of depravity and makes me thankful I'm not involved in that world.

Indeed. Also, even if what they say does say something about them, that doesn't mean it's not true about you as well.

when my friend got pissed, forced his way into my room and attacked me with a le creuset saucepan for no good reason i called him a pathetic drunken twat. i was right wasn't i? because now i'm wondering if that's actually how i feel about myself

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they made soup out of my research turtles.

Yes, of course there may be a grain of truth in it, but my point is that it shouldn't be taken as gospel truth, especially if you love yourself and the way you present yourself. The problems occur of course when a comment triggers thoughts of insecurity about yourself that already existed.

This is the video I meant
YouTube - Hilarious Paris/Tara Video -- "I'm So Yesterday"

See, personally, I think people who use the "I know you are but what am I?" method of argument without a trace of irony reveal something about themselves in the process. I'm of the opinion that the more effort one wastes on "explaining" to oneself that the person who's insulted them is actually insulting themself somehow, the less time one can be spending learning to accept that some people will object to one through no obvious fault of either your or their own. Couldn't I just as easily argue that the fact a person feels insulted by an insult says a lot about them, given that another person, on the receiving end of the same insult, wouldn't give a shit?

Hmm, I'm not convinced.

It sounds like a defence mechanism against accepting the reality that there's some truth to what the meany-pants have to say about us all.

The juiciest insults are the ones that hurt because they're true!

This is at the core of my post. I actually take negative things that are said to me so deeply that I have to start thinking about it from another angle or I'm going to self destruct. I suppose it's not so much as the words that are said, but in the way that you choose to react to it. Becuase we can all choose to be the victim or not. I'm choosing not to be anymore.

But this is the point: if you're having to flip the insult, to make it about the person insulting you, you're not rising above it. It's a quickfix, but in the long run, you'll be a better person if you learn to listen to criticism, however childish, and decide whether you need to give a shit or not.

You're right. I make the mistake of allowing myself to give a shit. I don't want to be such a delicate flower anymore. I need to learn to condition myself to not give a shit anymore 100% of the time.

Don't lose yourself to others who have been wounded. Most long-term wounding is a wound self-inflicted by misperception.

Your thread post is spot on. "Projection" is often in play as people look for victims of their hidden anger. You also may project when made to feel unrespected or accused. People love to blame others for their own failures, this is how they reinforce the misperceptions of woulding. What is often the most delicate flower is the ego--once the ego is strong enough one can transcend to a higher level of well-being without crushing the ego out of public view. A strong ego is valuable in the world, but it can also harbor the insecutiites that are attacked by those who desire to break the spirit in others. "Misery loves company". Be strong in character rather than hardened in pretense.



Nice thread!


"Wildflowers survive where soils are harsh; avoiding alligator shoes and careless hearts"
~~carefulcarpenter

"Bullies sometimes wear red dresses"
~~carefulcarpenter

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Marerophilia:
A depth of love that youth can seldom appreciate or communicate;
A love that never can die for it is a wild seed living inside us, and it is what it is;
Love: that which bonds the reality of one's being to the mystery of the unknown;
Wildflowers: evidence revealed."
~~carefulcarpenter

Wow.
Just... wow.

Walking out of the thread now.

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1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Schlemiel, Schlimazel
Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!

lol yeah.

anyway dont agree with the threadstarter at all, hating for the fun of it is often good for the soul

there is some truth in what the thread starter is saying.

i find these low epiphanies that the vapid get kind of endearing. i still can't believe she's not a fag

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they made soup out of my research turtles.

i still can't believe she's not HCH

sometimes, when i go on kr, i like to feel incredulous

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they made soup out of my research turtles.