she was raising me, but i'm not sure i was old enough to fully process the idea of death. i'm sure it must have had some effect, but as far back into my childhood as i can remember, i don't remember any sort of grief or trauma. it was almost as if she never existed. i have a very faint memory of being at the neighbors' the night it happened and being told my mother was in the hospital, but i can't remember any sort of emotion.
i'm actually curious now how i took it when it happened. i'd ask my family but i don't know that it's something i feel comfortable talking to them about.
__________________ Raise the dead on your turntable.
No relationship with either parent due to their drug/alcohol/mental issues...as cold as this is going to sound, it's for the best, sometimes you have to distance yourself from people who set really bad examples. They are still alive, which is shocking, I would have figured they both would have overindulged or have killed themselves by now.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Made of Fail
The five days I worked on October [the U2 album] were the days that Edge was doing his guitar sounds. And then I got fired.
was is something like a long drawn out illness?
no was it unexpected?
wel...yes and no was it horrible and broke your whole world in pieces?
yes was is wished upon?
by him i suppose, not by anyone else
my father was sick with cancer for about two years (when i was eighteen) and for the most part, because my mother had to work, i was the one to stay home weekdays and care for him. i would take him to radiation treatments. put aloe vera gel on the burns on his back. feed him instant breakfast. it was like a long and drawn gradual mourning process. eventually i started praying for him to pass to stop his suffering. he died at home while my sister and i had gone for donuts. later that day there was a major earthquake in the bay area. when we came home and my mom told us he had just passed, i felt overwhelming joy(?) for his release from the sick body and hurting.
he was a really great dad. alot of my friends dads were assholes of assorted varieties. but my dad was amazing and i am gratefull. i visited with him in a vivid dream several months after his death and he was holding a beautifull baby and they were both smiling radiantly.
They are still alive, which is shocking, I would have figured they both would have overindulged or have killed themselves by now. 
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