I do not know why death is always on my mind. I have no idea. I've never experienced it so far thank goodness and I don't really want to die it's just that I need to find meaning, the reason for all this and I think that I'll only find out when I die.

There's also the problem with my gender, I don't feel like the person I am, it's complicated.

But death scares me, even if there is an afterlife, wich there is, it's still like the complete annulment of the human being or the human state. Scary.

I'm trying to live to at least 150 (yeah, take it up with modern technology, k?) but i am definitely curious to know what'll happen when i die.

i'm gonna try and be sincere for a minute, even though you're kind of a shithead usually. i think we as people need to be less arrogant. if we were meant to have the knowledge of the gods, and of what comes after death, we'd know by now. but we don't. it's like trying to open up yr christmas gifts 4 months early.
i really really suggest people don't waste their time, the time we all have HERE and NOW, ya know? we'll have plenty of time to float around dead, like.... after we die.
we're all trapped by our bodies, regardless of what sex we identify ourselves as. because truth is, i really think most people don't even know what it is to identify as human. i mean really, what is the "human state?"
i am a fucking sap lately. but. i think you (and/or we all?) need to force yourself, fake yourself, do whatever it takes to convince you, that you love and respect yourself? i don't know. fuck this, i feel like dr. phil.
i'm serious though. be nicer to/more patient with yourself. it'll work wonders.

there is no meaning to life. every single life form is a result of a cosmic chemical freak coincidence.
i never understood trying to find the meaning behind life.
you're born, you eat and shit a bunch, maybe pop out a few kids, and then you croak. why people need to put some sort of deeper emphasis this is completely beyond my realm of understanding. we're all just a result of physics and biology.

We find meaning in life. If you believe in the afterlife/judgement, it's to make sure you go somewhere nice when you die. If you believe you're just made up of chemicals, it's to make sure you get as much masturbation in as possible.

i dont want to die. i just don't want to not live.