| For Christmas when I was about 11, an Aunt had given me as part of a present, a sort of decorative item, which was a thick strong/thin rope, in pretty colours, with small bells attached. Not the kind of bells you get in cats' toys, but like tiny versions of tratitional church-bell type things.
Anyway, I had those resting on a table one night in my room, and was sitting reading on the floor, with the TV on. I heard a small ringing noise, which sounded a lot like the bells I'd been given, so I looked round and there they were, still on the table, in absolutely no position to be ringing, nobody else in the room, not hung up or over the side of the table or anything. I went back to my book and I heard it again. I was a little freaked out, so switched off my TV, reasoning it might have been a noise on TV that I was hearing. I switched it off and sat down, started reading again, and then heard the bells louder, and as I turned around, they fell off the table.
I know this isn't the scary old woman story, but my god, I was freaked out - there was no way I can think of that that could have happened naturally...
__________________ A guy in Dumfries had to replace his mother's sofa because he'd fucked it.
"Why did he have to replace it?" we wondered.
"Because he'd cut a hole in it." said Andrew, authoritively.
I ventured that I would just have gone at it between the cushions.
There's more than one way to fuck a couch. | 
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