My life ended a decade ago. I had a beautiful bride with children, great summer festivals and everything was rosy.

Then things got real dark. I became isolated and started thinking for myself. I realised I am alone in this life - this life is hell for the wicked rise to the top and people like me who hate people who;
1. Love going shopping
2. Enthralled by music / bands / media / t.v. / film / books
3. Are in employment
4. Attended University / college and got qualifications

Basically, people who take the path everyone does and fears going one step away from what is normal (even when normal is a guy wearing eye-liner and listening to The Killers)

and always doing what the mainstream middle of the road bullshit ideologies in life tell them to do because its hip.

No, I said fuck it all. I stopped reading, tossed out the t.v. and cut myself off from everyone and everything. It was the best and worst time of my life. Alone, living the minimalist life of paying bills, eating, sleeping, cleaning.

Eventually, people became 'concerned' about my lifestyle of isolation and tried to help and they failed miserably.

So, here I am, still alone in this life. Steadily going nowhere special and awaiting death. In the meantime I was struggling with two things;
1. Mental illness
2. Drug addiction

The mental illness stemmed from the immense confusion I experienced as a child. This eventually eased as I grew older yet the drug addiction persisted up until this year. I am still occasionally taking drugs such as peyote and magic mushrooms BUT have quit cigarettes, charlie, ganja, amphetamines, opium / morphine.

Yet, this is too late because Doctors are pretty much concerned with my health. For instance, I began a 'healthy' diet of fruit and vegetables and guess what...my pancreas started to become inflamed from struggling to digest such food. It can only handle, so I discovered after almost dying, meat. The diet I was originally on was a purely high fat diet of meat, milk, and alcohol. Now its sans alcohol because my pancreas is pretty much damaged beyond repair. Every time I have a drink it swells up and becomes really uncomfortable and painful.

To make things worse, the last time I saw my GP I was asked loads of questions regarding my liver AFTER blood tests for my abdominal pain which we all suspect is an ulcer.

Basically, for the past 6 years my life has been daily agony. This is basically due to drug abuse. Yeah, I would drink a litre of whiskey and smoke a quart of ganja in one night and this was nothing special like the 'I can take it' game it was just getting through life, numb.

It did start out with glorious motives such as enlightenment and self discovery but when you reach a point in life like Satre realised its just time to get fucking wasted. Sadly, nowadays my body is saying its goodbyes and I really want to die because my life ended a decade ago and nothing compares to how beautiful life was for me back then in the 90's except the glory of God and love I feel for my Lord.

When you have done everything within your means possible, and life has nothing left to give, you realise it can not go on anymore and in no way do you want to live to just exist.

But the sad part is, suicide is against my faith.

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Ezekiel 33:33 Rev 13:16 Lev 11:7
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ن٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱ

Yes, that is a shame.


hahahahaha.






Nah, I dunno, whatever.

this should totally be in health and wellbeing

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you take your coffee black the way your mother would.

how old are you?

What happend to your wife and kids?!

have you tried cutting yet?

Is there anyone who you don't hate?

Also, do you ever finger your anus?

He's not a Jesus freak. Far as I can tell he's one of those "because science doesn't know everything, I should believe absolutely anything else, especially if it's based on little/no evidence" types.

i am Death....

Oh, my evidence is all around us. It's in the air, the trees, in us. Oh, it is the farmer sowing the fields, the motherly love for the caught knee in the beer trap, and the boyfriend explaining how he just killed a man with his bear hands.

Oh, yes, the evidence - albeit none presented here, is everywhere.

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Ezekiel 33:33 Rev 13:16 Lev 11:7
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ن٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱ

Maybe yer body is sick cuz yer mind is so negative ... maybe its part delusion ... I mean, yer mentally ill, right, you could be thinking its far worse than it is.

And I don't think somebody's moods should be influenced so strongly by what others do ... yer master of yerself, only, so try to master that ... you'll get nowhere expecting the human race to be this or that, believe me .... It is what it is.

You have to change yer thinking ... yer way of thinking ... yer patterns of thought, the rituals of thinking you do ... you have to decide to do that, to change that. Then things will improve, little by little. And if they don't, at least you gave it a shot.

Etc ...

Pancreas ... ya, I dunno, What is the diagnosis, exactly ... some chronic problem I guess. Just don't dwell on it. Think about something else. As a start. Think about yer bladder.. Ha ha .... Read about crop circles or the Sasquatch, or equally something silly, get yer mind off all this heavy crap.

Thx

None of that is evidence of anything you've been proposing. The fact that you've described some things exist doesn't prove that things exist for the reasons you've given.

God Is Good All The Time!!!

Praise Him!!!!

i agree. life does suck. the reason for me going to uni and getting a job was because my life sucked. now it still sucks, but at least i have distractions to help me forget, isn't that what most people do anyway.

be my imaginary boyfriend?

i love you.

really.

i love you.

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albert, you are the father

boo fucking hoo
quit feeling sorry for yourself
go have a drink
and i hope a homo serves you

Go get help if your that bothered. Only you can help you in the long run.

Out of interest, why do you hate those who work for a living? How do you get money?