There was a point where I was a lot happier. And in comparison, these days.. I'm miserable. Recently turned 25, and it blew my head off. But not really. I said it did, and it felt like it did for a few days, but there's no difference. I'm not "on the path" again or any of that. I'm not "trying to grow up" either. It's been almost a month since my birthday. I've only gone to work on time twice since then, my diet hasn't matured, I haven't coped with any of these family issues..

Know why?

Because I am a fucking moron! These things don't even count! I am whining about having been happy at one point because, by now, I'm this strange strange thing. I have been trying to become a materialistic normal guy. I've been walking around talking about getting an i-pod and I've been thinking about how cool it would be to move to the southeastern part of town and I'm wondering where my job will effect my "career."

No no no. No good. It's all fake. These things have never mattered to me before, and they still shouldn't.

"The World." Crazy, right? Limitless possibilities everywhere and nowhere. I was watching a movie I like yesterday, and they were talking about what I've been thinking about, IN SECRET, for the past few months again. Power. Surrender. Both. Point is, I should stop calling people stupid because... that means I'm stupid too. Why, besides the obvious? Maybe I used to understand some of the ways in which we're all really connected. Don't call me a hippie, or I'll shank you. Seriously.

What are we gonna do here, people? You and me right now? What? The impulse, the current if you will, is to ignore this thread. Look past it because this guy is just way too fuckin weird, right? Not today, come on.

What do you want to do? And what are you doing to see yourself do it? And what are you and I doing to help each other? "Why should we help each other?!" Because, yes.. we're pretty much the same thing. And we're equally insignificant. Truth is, we may as well not even exist. And there's a good chance that we don't exist! I'm quite possibly just a hallucination for whoever may be reading this, albeit a good fucked up proper hallucination, dig?

People always talk about "what would you do if you found out you're gonna die really soon?" And then some other hippies talk about how you're already kind of dying right now.. BUT!! Look around at the world you live in. Oh... it's death, love. And it's everywhere. And what are we doing to live? And what are we doing to live together? And why do these ideas still scare us?

Basically, I'm making this thread for the following reason:

I want to see everyone help each other. I mean it. Like.. right now. Write me (or someone, anyone else) a private message, tell me what's up. Tell me what I can do right now to help you. Yes, you personally. I don't care stranger or not. You're pretty fucking strange, so am I, but it's.. you know... what we do.

I'm tired of being sad. My little job and my little life and my little cravings, they don't really mean anything. The world is bigger than your head. I want to know and understand you, so I can learn to understand myself more completely, and learn to help myself, and help you. And I hope to truely learn about what it means to be the same fucking thing. Creepy now, isn't it? I'm so creeped out. I hate you all. But I totally love you too. And oddly enough, that's just how I feel about my "self" too.

I'm serious though, beyond my stupid long mumbo jumbo ranticization, and I am sorry for all of this..

If anybody wants to discuss this further, I think that's a good thing. Otherwise, keep ignoring it.

"Point is, I should stop calling people stupid because... that means I'm stupid too"
arrogance begets ignorance

"I'm quite possibly just a hallucination for whoever may be reading this, albeit a good fucked up proper hallucination, dig?"
you creeped me out fucker



love is empathy for a shared experience of insignifigance and disconnect
you seem to realise that
you have a good butt i mean soul i mean heart i mean yeah
a good yeah
the day to day" is weird aint it
haha

i dunno what to tell you
isit so much "sadness" as unfulillment?

*shrugs*
i prescribe you a bottle of cheap whiskey
preferably the 1.75 liter ones that are like 15 bucks or so

i feel useless because i've been trying to ignore inner urges to live in outer space like i should.

the whiskey comes wednesday i think. i might kill my boos though. im in the middle of about 3 weeks stright without a day off. and wondering 'why the fuck am i even doing it?'

and im pretty sure i need to find a new way to view earth politics. im gonna start by not believing in america anymore. if anyone asks what ethnicity i am, i will respong... humidor. i think i want to take a nice drive somewhere one of these weekends and sort of fuck around with some ideas. maybe i should be like god and rent a hummer. i mean, he obviously drives one of those right?

one of those weeks.

pick up a new instrument?
i just started trumpet this week
i like it alot


i feel useless because i've been trying to ignore inner urges to live in outer space like i should.
wha kind of urges
i know what youmean tho kinda
what you should do is give into them
but feel bad about it

look it already. 20 something views, only one person replies.

inner urges like... just doing whatever i want. saying what i really need to, emoting what i really need to.. being 100%. outer space is infinite, but then we really don't even know if our version of "infinite" can fit in something bigger's lunchbox, and we dont even know if outer space is real.

the hard truth is, the smartest physicists in our little world... they NO LONGER KNOW WHAT IS REAL AND WHAT IS NOT, nor can it be measured, and nor do they know if it even needs to be measured.

what they HAVE seen though, is entanglement. and superpositions. which both huge factors REEEEAAAALLY hint to the fact that we're all the same thing.

shit, the buddhists have been saying that forever.



i kinda want to disappear in a ball of light like some of those ancient south americans. and maybe outer space wont be so far out anymore.



And to add... THIS is why user lame isn't so bad really when you think about it.

is that paladin?
haha he saw what the bleep too


~*I*~ doesnt exist
ITHAWNG

paladin sucksckscks.

and thats exactly the movie i was watching the other day. the big fat long version. ive seen it a few times, but unfortunately ive been feeling this way since tripping out in high school.

monkeys fucking terrify me.

Dude, are we psychic twins?
I'm only a few months short of 25, and lately I've been on this thing about, you know, how part of becoming a man is finding your function and transcending the lower part of your ego so that you can help others and connect people.

And I've found that, ever since I've slid into this state of consciousness, my approach and attitude towards life have change, and as a matter of direct causality there, the results I'm getting have changed dramatically too.

Things I never thought possible in my life are happening to me.
Things I only dreamed about.

And I realized that like, the outer reflects the inner, and what we project is what we attract, thus, there is a massive difference between the world we exist in and that world that we choose to create for ourselves.

And I noticed while in this state of mind lately that I've developed massive social networking skills, and an apparent talent for being a social bridge between different types of people who would otherwise never be put in touch.

"What, you need this? I know a guy over there who might be able to help you out." kinda stuff.
And ultimately, because I look for opportunities to help and connect with people, and help point them towards one another, the gratitude and the positive energy all wind up coming back my way, tenfold. Call it karma, or by any other name, but I realized that everything in life is a matter of energy, and for that matter, conversion of energy from one state to another.

Everything is in constant motion.

Anyway, thanks for making this thread. It's got soul.

id say it might be wearing a thawng too
i dont see any pantylines
but its not polite to ask

Then stop ignoring them. Have a little self-respect.

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

respect of the self/body? you mean?
as if its a seperate entity perse

Respect of, like, the whole shebang. Mind, body and spirit! Which sounds like the kind of record Olivia Newton-John would have released when she was trying to "go sexy" in the 80s.

Actually she may have, I may be channelling the Guinness Book of Hit Records.

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

It's just one more trip around the sun.

(1) I went through this phase. Not so much the materialistic part, but the normal part. I just wanted to be normal and forget who I am so I could have a shot at a normal life but it never worked. I always felt like people could see right through me. I mean, I don't go out of my way to externally communicate to people that I'm different from them like I used to, but I could wear the most normal shit and nobody buys it once I open my mouth.
(2) I got an ipod nano as a gift less than a year ago and I'm totally addicted to it. For someone like me who is really moody about music, carrying around 200 cds is horribly inconvenient and they skip too. I know it sounds horribly materialistic, but I loves my ipod. I would probably give up lots of other things to keep it.

yes and no. I have reached point in my life where I need stability. It is too stressful for me to not have some sort of idea of where I'm headed in life. I can't handle working average jobs where I don't get to think either because it feels like a waste

I wanted to be normal, and I thought that normal meant conforming with everyone else, so I got a myspace.
It didn't really work.

That first post W.Wanker...film material. Write a script about how fucked everything is

i really really like this thread.

(PS ok here's how you can help me haha i'm going to apply for some jobs tomorrow ... and i need to courage to do it. pep me up, or something.)

__________________
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up

it's all about just being true and good to you and yours.

other peoples normal doesn't have to be everyones normal.
i'm stephanie.

(i really liked that entire first post ww)

__________________
[ o ]==#

Yesterday was history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift - that's why it's called the present
- Babatunde Olatunji (and Kung Fu Panda)