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  #126  
Old 01-14-2009, 01:24 PM
he who seeks finds
 
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i don't know guess he doesn't know what he's missing

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  #127  
Old 11-02-2009, 03:10 AM
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darksidzz is infamous around these parts darksidzz is infamous around these parts
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I can attest the fact I have Asperger's Syndrome (abit) and that indeed I'm depressed, sad, insane, and generally getting more fucked up by the day over this issue. Involuntary celibacy sucks badly, it's hell. You see everyone around you fucking while you are standing alone and have absolutely no way of relating to them at all. It's horrible. It's hell.

I can't tell you what the end outcome of my life will be, but when I hit 30 with no sexual relationships at all and my entire life is just about pathetic as you can see, that my friends is hitting rock bottom the likes of which no one should ever have to see. Truly madness is around my corner.
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  #128  
Old 11-02-2009, 07:53 AM
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strokin' bubbles d'monkey
 
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Dolores, do your friend a favor
even if you don't like cooch
because this will be a self less act
like love making is supposed to be.
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  #129  
Old 11-02-2009, 03:59 PM
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Daniel LaRusso <3
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DoloresHaze View Post
Involuntary celibacy


Involuntary celibacy (or incel) is the state of a person who has not established an intimate relationship or engaged in sexual intercourse for reasons other than voluntary celibacy or sexual abstinence. The term is used especially for adults who, despite general expectations, have had little to no sexual or romantic experience.

Contents [hide]
1 Definition
2 Research
3 Criticism
4 Contributing factors
5 See also
6 References
7 External links



[edit] Definition
An involuntarily celibate person is someone who fails to initiate or sustain a sexual or romantic relationship, despite his/her desire to experience such a relationship. Afflicted people may suffer from loneliness, frustration, and may be mistaken for homosexuals who are hiding their sexuality.[dubious – discuss]

In her book The History of Celibacy, Elizabeth Abbott devotes one chapter to involuntary celibates. She includes in this category a wide variety of people:[1]

Those in social circumstances that deny them access to potential partners (for example, being imprisoned, or living in a society with skewed sex ratios caused by the death of many men in a war, or preferential abandonment or abortion of females)
Those without access to either birth control or the monetary resources to deal with a child
Those denied the right to marry by social norms (for example, widows in certain Hindu communities, or younger sisters in societies that demanded the oldest be married first)
Women whose families lacked money for the dowries required by their society
People who would lose their jobs if they were known to be sexually active (for example, apprentices and journeymen in certain trades in Medieval Europe, or certain Western domestic servant or educator positions prior to the past century)
Men castrated against their will
There is controversy concerning the duration of the celibacy needed to qualify for the label of involuntary celibacy. Some people class themselves as involuntarily celibate because they are not in a relationship at the moment, though they have been in the past. Critics to this view suggest that the proper label for this is simply being "single", which, unlike "involuntarily celibate," is in common usage and does not carry potential social stigma, while involuntary celibacy is more or less a semi-perpetual condition. Donnelly and Burgess used a floor figure of six months of involuntary celibacy in their study design. Others apply the term only to those who have never been involved in a sexual and/or romantic relationship.[2]


[edit] Research
A study was initiated in 1998 by researchers from Georgia State University when a member of an online discussion group for involuntary celibates inquired about current research on the subject. [3] The study, Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis, [4] was published in 2001 in the Journal of Sex Research, produced by the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. A news article reporting on the study indicated that involuntary celibacy can lead to anger and depression. [5] Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis has also been included in an anthology of scholarly literature. [6]

In a March 6, 2004 letter by Brian G. Gilmartin, who performed extensive studies on involuntarily celibate males (whom he termed "love-shy"), he noted that "as many as 40 percent of the cases of severely love-shy men would qualify for a diagnosis of 'Asperger's Syndrome'", a proportion supported in his 1987 book.[7]


[edit] Criticism
Very little research has been published on involuntary celibacy, and few statistics are available, although it is finding its way onto university syllabi.[8][9] It does not appear to be a concept or a phenomenon taken seriously by those who do not experience it.

However, conditions and behaviors associated with involuntary celibacy may include severe depression,[10] self-harm, mental illness, as well as self-medication, through either binge drinking or the use of narcotic drugs[11] and even suicide. Also, involuntary celibacy could lead to self-absorption and an unhealthy preoccupation with human sexual behavior. [12].


[edit] Contributing factors
Lack of sex-appeal, social skills or charisma, disability, socio-economic factors, such as homelessness, poverty, a lack of education and unemployment[13] may play a role in preventing courtship. Additionally a lack of suitable partners, or discomfort with the idea of sex outside of an established relationship may also be contributing factors.

In many societies (especially Western), heterosexual men are traditionally almost always required to assume the assertive role in pursuing the opposite sex and courtship is considered a competitive sport amongst single, eligible men, who typically employ verbal strategies and tactics to seduce women. Proficiency at these tactics, is called having "game" in American slang, and this is frequently equated with confidence, a trait that is popularly valued in men by women. Because confidence and "game" exist independently of socio-economic status, a man of lower education and status can frequently win a woman's attention away from a man of higher education and status. This attitude is taken by the seduction community, a group that believes that "seducing" women can be scientifically studied and improved.

Involuntary celibacy may also be perpetuated by cognitive biases and/or negative explanatory styles such as learned helplessness or fundamental attribution error. Learned helplessness occurs when, after experiencing repeated rejection, an individual is conditioned to assume all other potential prospects will also reject them. Every "signal" of interest may be dismissed, even when the object of one's attraction is genuinely interested. "Actual helplessness" occurs when there are no signals of interest to be misinterpreted. The Fundamental Attribution Error can cause individuals to see people as being mean or shallow towards them when they have experienced a rejection of some form, instead of explaining the behaviour through situational or environmental factors. Unmarried individuals living in rural or suburban areas are often unable to find a suitable partner due to social and marriage patterns.

It also says this:
Potential Solutions
Barring partaking in prostitution or escort opportunities as clients — which while it may be unappealing to the incel person is still always an option in any of its various forms (though usually illegal) — an involuntarily celibate person is indeed able to usually find appropriate sexual release tailored to their individual desires through any number of "sex-community"-oriented social functions. These communities usually take some time to uncover as they are normally part of the cultural underground of a society and are, furthermore, very private and well-guarded in order that their members will feel safe at all times from unwanted entry by abusive or predatory persons, or from a police raid that despite the functions' inherent consensuality might still carry the risk of getting participants arrested. Usually, in order to involve oneself in such groups, an interested person must go through someone else already involved in one or another such community.

These opportunities range from an in general sexually 'tame' erotic party, orgy, or "sexy soirée", all the way to play-parties associated with BDSM that are comparatively much more extreme. Because all these subcultures are intensely social and involve lots of people, sex-community activities may serve to both relieve the incel person of his or her sexual tension as well as provide the person a way to increase their self-esteem, if it is low.

Yah OK.
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