I had gotten into this conversation with an ex of mine once. At the time I thought flat out,NO. I realized that I didn't really thought it through that much at the time.
So I'm curious to hear male opinions on this.
I mean both in a sexual and emotional way of being violated.
Can men feel that same feeling when a women has violated them and feel as emotionally distraught has a women does when a man violates her?
Opinions?Thoughts?

because of how society treats sexuality, a woman suddenly start doing something uncalled for sexually to a man would be a good thing. While vice-versa would be icky.

But yes, men can feel violated, especially if children.

YES In terms of physical/emotional abuse.

they just express their grief about it differently, sometimes in ways that are not so apparent. Sometimes he may not want to be seen vunerable and feel ashamed because of society and the view of the 'tough guy' and not being a 'pussy'.

There have been domestic violence cases where men have been physically injured by their spouse and lied and said they got attack by a stranger in the night down a street. This story actually happened and this is what he told the nurse at the hospital after his wife stabbed him.

They may sometimes lie or remain stoic about their feelings but deep inside it does affect them the same as a woman. I think more men feel internal anger though and more likely to express revenge in a violent manner than a woman, or will resort to it first..... they may retaliate differently or express themselves differently sometimes but I don't think they deep down don't FEEL less....

When it comes to SEXUAL violation....?????????
Other than when they are children...there arent many case studies I imagine? Rape in an all male prison...Im sure is just as violating. Its just the female on male sexual violation, its a pity there isnt much first hand evidense on it?

My boyfriend still hates his first girlfriend (nearly 10 years later) because he reckons she forced him into having sex with him. He didn't sleep with her (cause they were like, 14) so she told all her friends he was weird and frigid. So then he slept with her just so people wouldn't make fun of him. He claims to feel pretty violated by the incident.

P.S. also, one in 9 men in the US will be raped (by another guy). Think they probably feel pretty violated.

of course they can. why wouldn't they? because they're not as open about their "feelings" then that means they don't have any? ridiculous.

__________________
"I knew I was too late - and I was glad something bloodthirsty waited in the wings. For in failing at this, I forfeited any desire to live."

Interesting. I was looking more specifically into males feeling violated by females.
Of course, in a male to male situation I would assume the feeling of violation would be strong.
You jsut rarely hear males saying this about females, so I was curious if anyone had heard of any studies or reports on the subject.

Exactly!
The only thing Ive heard related to that was when they were talking about this on the radio. A woman rang in saying she watched the episode of Desperate housewives where Orson (?) gets raped by that woman who drugged him while his mother saw to it and her mates were screaming their heads off laughing watching it. She said if it was the other way round people would be horrified and she was shocked at the double standards of society. It was made kind of comical but I remember seeing it too and it REALLY made me think about this whole issue.

I'd think men are a lot less prepared societally for the idea that something other than food might go inside them. But I can't claim any special insight.

Guys do seem to be a lot more sensitive to things like voyeurism than women.

Yeah, it's one of those ridiculous situations where, okay, it doesn't happen very often, but with some people, if you even suggest that it happens at all, that's it's even physically possible, they'll laugh in your face. Some of these are the same people who were being told that it was ridiculous to suggest a woman could be raped by her husband years ago, and they totally don't see the irony.

I believe that males are just as prone to feeling violated as females, whether physically or emotionally. How violated you feel depends on the individual, not the gender.

Yes, good point. Just because a man wont show his feelings, doesn't mean he wont have them. Accordingly, just because a man wont talk about being violated, doesn't mean he wont feel violated. It's difficult to form generalizations on people who prefer to keep things to themselves, and this is why males in general are often misunderstood. It's natural that we should judge by what we see on the surface. How else are we to know but for the minority of males do care to divulge?

Does "emotionally violated" mean anything other than "I'm pissed off, but my pissed off is, like, one louder than yours, so pay attention to me"?

I think it refers mainly to the violation of one's personal space. And bullying.

I'd have to agree with Lady_Violet.

A few years ago I did a bit of research on female violence, including rape. What interested me was the find that stated men can get erections in violent situations, and the erection not being tied to lust, but fear.

I don't understand how one can even question men being able to feel "as emotionally distraught as a women does when a man violates her", the only thing I feel that can be different is the way how men (generally speaking) express that fear, or repress it (because of genderstereotypical standards in parenting, the media etc).

So "I'm pissed off and someone was mean to me and that's equally as bad as rape", then?


Well yeah, I mean, we can get erections in our sleep/passed out, for god's sake. I've woken up with some strange dude on my cock once. I was all like "hello sir, need any help with that?".

I was just checking in, you know?

[quote]I don't understand how one can even question men being able to feel "as emotionally distraught as a women does when a man violates her", the only thing I feel that can be different is the way how men (generally speaking) express that fear, or repress it (because of genderstereotypical standards in parenting, the media etc).

Well yeah. Men are not encouraged by society at large to regard sex that happened while they were too drunk to know what they were doing as rape. Women are. Men and women do seem to react differently to waking up with a stranger and finding out they had sex. The difficulty is in deciding whether that's because of how men are biologically or culturally compared to women, whether it's actually a problem that men and women react differently, whether the same treatment should be available to a man who feels he's been taken advantage of, even if most men wouldn't necessarily have a problem with it, and so on.

Well yeah. But I think in reality not all men are the same in how they handle and react to certain situations (Yeah, I know "duh", or maybe not so ?).

Just to negate that it's a possibility from the get-go does some men a disservice. Innit.

I don't think anyone suggested that emotional violation is worse than rape.

I think we have as much of a societally-instilled response to "surprise sex" as women do. It's a different response - we tend to take the piss out of the pers