and I'm sick of it! Really, even people that would never normally have spoken to me about this kind of thing before. My grandparents generally avoid the subject, especially one set of them, but even they've been asking questions while I've been at home this weekend. I just wanted to complain about it and see if anyone else is being annoyed by the same thing.

My mum never, ever used to talk to me about relationships & stuff, though when I split up with my ex boyfriend in January she asked a couple of times "how are things with Joe?", "why did you split up?" and gave up when she didn't really get any answers. When she calls me in Nottingham she's always asking if I have anyone interested in me, or coyly enquiring as to if anything is happening, "relationship-wise" and this weekend, a few times too: "I wish you had someone to look after you in Nottingham."

a) I can look after myself, I don't need a man. And if I do want a boy to walk me to my hall to put off potential rapists and/or murderers (as my mother fears are hiding on every street corner, behind every dustbin) I can ask a friend. It is always, emphatically, a male, though she did ask today in a jokey way "you're not lesbian, are you?" when I told her I wasn't interested in anyone/there was nothing going on, quickly adding "not that there would be anything wrong if you were."
b) It's my choice! I don't get why they are trying to force me into a relationship all the time. I know it might only be her being concerned, but it's annoying.
c) it's always her asking if anyone is interested in me, and though I don't know if she's noticing that she does this, it's implying that I can't choose who I like myself, I can only pick from men who have already expressed an interest in me.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGH

Sorry, just wanted to rant and see if anyone else has the same problem.

No, I don't have this problem, however I would comment that with your funky elitist attitude I'm not at all suprised no-one wants to fuck you, If your pussys like your attitude it's prolly got teeth and bad breath

Hmmm...not totally sure now if this should really be in 'love and relationships'...

nevermind them, they are an asshole

edit: i was talking about tomsk btw...

Vagina dentata, haha - damn right..

And my problem wasn't that no-one wanted to fuck me, it was that my mother, other family members and various family friends are obsessed with there being someone to do so. And FYI there are numerous people who do, it's just that I find them fucking irritating and have no interest in a relationship at the moment. I'm annoyed, if you read my post, at people who think I need one.

EDIT: I'm not scared of the sexuality forum because of Tomsk - in fact, it's normally my second home - it's just that I didn't notice that post until after I'd posted. But thanks for the moral support

I'm not toaddaly sure it is a valid topic for a thread, regardless of forum, are you sure you are not being the teensyest bit self absorbed?

My mother's questioning annoys me, that's for sure. But I hardly think it's about a man taking care of you or she thinking that you can't take care of yourself. She has never bothered me about this aspect in my life. In fact, I think she assumes I have a boyfriend when I don't but doesn't ask about it. Anyway, last summer my parents were talking about how they feel at ease when I am in a relationship because they're happy someone else in the world exists who loves me and takes care of me...in every sense. After hearing that from them it didn't feel like pressure to just get together with someone and procreate...but rather passing me on to another meaningful relationship so I have love and support when I am so far away.

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"We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard-working, very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation," she told the crowd.

Alright, calm down..... Dr Tomsk prescribes a short, but singificant period of no strings attached dirty sex with multiple partners, you are clearly frustrated.

I am more than slighty concerned that your mother and other family members are obsessed by your sexual status.... Are you Amish?

you're welcome.

Maybe you're right, pabs...it's just that when people question me so much I start wondering if there is some other motivation for it. You seem to be speaking sense.


Duh. Isn't anyone who posts threads about their problems on internet forums just a little bit self-absorbed? If you're saying that about my thread, you may as well just copy+paste onto every thread on the entire board, then quickly, quickly, leave the internet before your head explodes at how "self-absorbed" we all are.

EDIT: I need to post faster!

Haha, I'm not really that bothered about sex at the moment, I just feel quite content with retreating from the world of relationships right now. Maybe I'll feel more like it in the summer when I'm living in France, and that could be much more fun..

No I'm not Amish, I'm agnostic and my family is a bit of a mixture, but my parents are basically atheistic (in the sense that they don't think about religion at all, and look worried when I talk about it, as if by studying how it's philosophically ridiculous I might accidentally become converted) with some residual Christian values.

my mother, who is very easy going in most respects, just looks mystified when i tell her relationships are not the be all and end all. she just knows that the only way to fulfilment and happiness is by coupling up. are those who are single by choice perceived as a threat or source of discomfort by couples or would be couplers?

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they made soup out of my research turtles.

Yes, Yes, this is all very well, but lets cut to the nub of this important issue, are you Amish and would you consider making woopy with a family member, this is the only reason for your mommys concern with the frequency of your 'action'... Personally I find this all slightly distastful, but you have me intrigued.

Apologies for cross-post.

See above edit, which I was writing while you wrote this - damn all our confusing cross-posting. I don't think she's necessarily concerned with me getting some, she's just worried about me having a boyfriend or not, & I imagine she'd rather we weren't having sex.

heehee...

perhaps...also, my mother looked a bit put-out when I told her in the Easter holidays that I never, ever wanted to have children. Yes, you may say it's just a phase and that I'll be broody as hell by the time I'm late twenties, but I tell you, I'll damn well prove you wrong. Maybe it was because she knew that now she'd have to depend upon my brother for grandchildren, who is like me, only his anger is expressed in biking and breaking things, as oppose to words and breaking hearts.

Your Ma sounds hellishly conflicted, she wants you to have a boyfiend, is concerned that you have no maternal yearnings, potentially cutting here chances of grandchildren down, yet you say that she would prefer it that you and the non-existant partner didn't have sex..... I think you both need to sit down over a strong pot of tea and discuss matters. What does she think people do in the early stages of a relationship, long walks in the country come later, first comes the mad, relentless fucking stage

Haha, I know, I know. I think she's fairly modern, I think she realises we probably would be - especially now I'm at uni she's relinquishing control somewhat - but she went so mental at me the first few times I stayed over at my ex boyfriend's house last year, without lying about the reason (e.g "...is having a party, me and some of my friends will probably stay there afterwards if it finishes late.")

I think it depends on the person. But for some people, yes, and the threat comes from the person in a relationship having to possibly face up to the fact that maybe they could have been happy in other ways (or that they're not completely happy in their current situation). A gross oversimplification and I don't think it applies to everyone, but often times it's very easy to believe that you are happy doing what you're doing if other people are also doing it. When people reject societal norms, it causes some people discomfort because it means they'll have to think a bit more deeply about the choices they have made. & they might not like the answers.

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My mother is the complete opposite. She tells me to do what I want as long as I'm happy, safe and don't flaunt it in anyone's face especially hers and never, ever ever get a joint bank account unless he puts more money into it than me. She also says on my wedding day, should I be stupid enough to get married, she will wear a black veil as she walks me down the aisle.

She is most bitter woman ever.

I love her.

This is of no use to you. I'm sorry.