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03-03-2007, 09:43 AM
|  | #1 cunt-kicker-in | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northampton, UK:
Posts: 9,690
| | | Q for the gays: Ever used the word "partner" or "life partner" in relation to your lover?
Oh, and I guess the question goes out to the straights as well, actually. Any of the ladies ever referred to a boyfriend as "my partner"? | 
03-03-2007, 09:48 AM
| | meaning is the old black | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: circa 1996
Posts: 1,404
| | | Nope. Thanks for letting us straights participate | 
03-03-2007, 09:52 AM
|  | slow refrain | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: austin.
Posts: 3,635
| | | no. "life partner" is fucking horrible.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by DoloresHaze I did not miss the point, I just had a moment where Marilyn's tragedy overwhelmed me. Such a pure creature, she was just light gone too soon. | | 
03-03-2007, 09:55 AM
|  | stratocaster | | Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 931
| | better than "death partner."
i saw a great essay... | 
03-03-2007, 10:08 AM
|  | #1 cunt-kicker-in | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northampton, UK:
Posts: 9,690
| | | I was just kinda thinking about it, and I gather that LGBT folks are in favour of using "partner" or "life partner", but I can't really understand why. It seems weird that someone interested in equal rights and stuff would want gay people to conceal the gender of their boyfriend or girlfriend publicly. | 
03-03-2007, 10:11 AM
|  | slow refrain | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: austin.
Posts: 3,635
| | | living in texas, "partner" just doesn't work. depending on who i'm around, i say boyfriend or husband (since he may as well be).
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by DoloresHaze I did not miss the point, I just had a moment where Marilyn's tragedy overwhelmed me. Such a pure creature, she was just light gone too soon. | | 
03-03-2007, 10:14 AM
|  | #1 cunt-kicker-in | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northampton, UK:
Posts: 9,690
| | | Would you use it if it did "work? | 
03-03-2007, 10:24 AM
|  | heavens to murgatroyd | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: hospice for the terminally ill
Posts: 1,718
| | | I just say 'boyfriend' (not that I have one). | 
03-03-2007, 10:25 AM
|  | slow refrain | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: austin.
Posts: 3,635
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Ophiel Ophiuci Would you use it if it did "work? | no.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by DoloresHaze I did not miss the point, I just had a moment where Marilyn's tragedy overwhelmed me. Such a pure creature, she was just light gone too soon. | | 
03-03-2007, 10:29 AM
|  | #1 cunt-kicker-in | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northampton, UK:
Posts: 9,690
| | | Good. | 
03-03-2007, 11:06 AM
|  | slow refrain | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: austin.
Posts: 3,635
| | | so what do you suggest (if anything) we use as an appropriate term? should we even need a separate word?
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by DoloresHaze I did not miss the point, I just had a moment where Marilyn's tragedy overwhelmed me. Such a pure creature, she was just light gone too soon. | | 
03-03-2007, 11:09 AM
|  | a.k.a Madge Spammer | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Panama
Posts: 8,223
| | I've never had a partner  | 
03-03-2007, 11:09 AM
|  | #1 cunt-kicker-in | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northampton, UK:
Posts: 9,690
| | | Basically no. I think it's detrimental to be unwilling to specify a partner's gender. I mean, I can understand why people would want to, but I can't say it's a good reason. I was just wondering if there was any positive reason for using a gender-neutral term. | 
03-03-2007, 11:10 AM
|  | slow refrain | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: austin.
Posts: 3,635
| | | what about "spouse"?
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by DoloresHaze I did not miss the point, I just had a moment where Marilyn's tragedy overwhelmed me. Such a pure creature, she was just light gone too soon. | | 
03-03-2007, 11:16 AM
|  | #1 cunt-kicker-in | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northampton, UK:
Posts: 9,690
| | | Similar thing, really. I guess the difference is that, being a kind of an archaic term, one assumes it relates to traditional marriage and thus to the opposite sex. But see above. | 
03-03-2007, 11:17 AM
|  | bluebirds | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: at the tragedy sale
Posts: 2,317
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Ophiel Ophiuci Ever used the word "partner" or "life partner" in relation to your lover?
Oh, and I guess the question goes out to the straights as well, actually. Any of the ladies ever referred to a boyfriend as "my partner"? | I find the word "partner" a bit embarassing. I'd just say "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". My GCSE English teacher always used to refer to the woman he lived with and had children with as his "partner" and we all found it kind of funny, I guess because it's a word we must have associated more with gay relationships; like he had something to hide from us. I did think he was just being arsey & pretentious about not saying "girlfriend", but upon thinking about it later on, there isn't really another word available to talk about someone who you're in a long-term relationship with, especially if you're all but married. | 
03-03-2007, 11:18 AM
|  | #1 cunt-kicker-in | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northampton, UK:
Posts: 9,690
| | | Not even "the missus"? | 
03-03-2007, 11:29 AM
|  | heavens to murgatroyd | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: hospice for the terminally ill
Posts: 1,718
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by sokkar what about "spouse"? | I think 'life partner' is the worst, followed by just 'partner'. And 'spouse' still seems awkward to me. I guess whatever word you're most comfortable with is ideal. It just seems like you're slighlty ashamed of being romantically involved with the same sex when you use such terms, IMO | 
03-03-2007, 11:43 AM
|  | pants around your ankles. | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 592
| | | I've said 'partner' at the doctors before, I didn't mind saying it then.
I said it just normally once though and I cringed afterwards. | 
03-03-2007, 11:47 AM
|  | down on bullshit avenue | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: Austin, TX / Houston, TX
Posts: 431
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by sokkar living in texas, "partner" just doesn't work. depending on who i'm around, i say boyfriend or husband (since he may as well be). | there's an old reporter (i use the term loosely; he mainly just writes about his life) for the houston chronicle who uses that term. i always wondered if he was gay, but then he referred to her as a 'she.' and they are married...
in that case it's a generational thing. but otherwise, yeah, i never hear 'partner' in texas. | |