i have

i say lover because boyfriend sounds totally high school and i feel really self conscious.

like i'm bragging about it. LOOK EVERYBODY I GOTS A BOYFRIEND!!!

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Well I don't actually say it, I'm just going to start. & when I do, I'm going to say it like he did in the movie. It was during the scene where he stalked her at the opera. He said "she's my LUV-ER" and then made some sexing sounds and motions. good stuff.

i says it like that.

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Actually, it had not even occurred to me until I posted that and then read your response, but the truth is that pretty much does tell me what I want to know – I want to know if they’re like me or not, and at this point, in this place, being in a long-term relationship versus being single is more important to ‘are you like me’ than gay or straight. Not that I don’t want to be around people who don’t have the same life as me, but just as a way to get an idea of who someone is, it apparently is one of the things that occurs to me first. I guess in your thirties and up, single/coupled is one of the biggest lifestyle divides (after childless/parent).

Not that it isn’t still an awkward way to put it. Despite having posted that I find it useful for determining if people are in a relationship or not, I can only think of one time I used it that way, and I felt stupid saying it. But I really don’t like to make assumptions about orientation, especially when that’s not even what I’m asking about.

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I quite like just asking "do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?" (hard to explain, but you kind pronounce the "/" with your shoulders) in any instance, regardless. It's kinda amusing sometimes when people think you're accusing them of being gay/straight. It's both the same and the exact opposite of asking if they have a partner, I think, because it's "both gender" specific, rather than non-gender specific.

I think.

I agree, and the shoulder thing is fairly easy to imagine. Although I would probably use my hands, which might be a New York thing.

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Nah, I would too, but I don't really talk with my hands at all.

This is an interesting question and one that makes me a bit annoyed every time someone associates "life partnership" with my relationship. Yes, I intend my relationship to last - but what is with this "life partner" business?

Everyone else doesn't need a label - so why do gay people? If anything, "we're together, we're married, or this is my ...." is sufficient. Life partner sounds so moronic, really.

To me, there's almost this level of "fluffy-gay-bunnydom" where people are life partners. They wear the same clothes, have matching Audis and have matching poodles in matching carry bags. I support the right to do this and to be as cliché as possible for any one, but that doesn't mean it's me.

To me, "life partner", as oppose to just "partner", says LOOK LOOK, MY RELATIONSHIP IS SERIOUS AND IS GOING TO LAST FOREVER AND EVER AND ALWAYS, EVEN THOUGH I'M A HOMO AND THE ODDS WOULD BE PRETTY STACKED AGAINST IT EVEN IF I WASN'T. I think maybe I like "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" largely because they're a bit kiddy, because at least then you know the person has a sense of humour about their relationship, which I think is much more likely to sustain it for a long time than the "LIFETIME INFINITY x FOREVER partner" mindset.

If someone said someone was their life partner, I'd just have to ask: how many life partners have you had now?

Yeah, life partner is pretty silly-sounding. My boyfriend/partner/whatever & I are officially on record with the US government as 'unmarried partners,' as it was the only option on the census form which fit.

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at least it isnt as bad as "butt-buddies"
or at least thats how I remember it in S.P.

I'd only use butt-buddy in an actual civil union. Do the whole ceremony serious, and just end with "I now pronounce you... butt-buddies!"

in the spirit of goth i'd much rather call them my ~DeTh PaRtNeR~^~MoRbIdAnGeL666~*~GliTTeR~

i hope there isn't someone actually on here called morbid angel 666. actually i think there is. haha, you suck

partner is like sort of not owning up to being gay

i would always say my boyfriend

argh I hate it when people ask me questions like "so,ummm,is he your.....partner" or life partner or whatever.and they always say it so slowly and cautiously.I prefer boyfriend

I never use the term life partner, nor partner. Whether I'm having it off with a man or woman, I prefer using the word lover.

I too always assume 'partner' refers to same-sex lover, but lately whenever I hear the term used (commonly amongst baby-boomers), it refers to the heteros.

partner/life partner sounds cheesy to me. If you hate boyfriend/girlfriend why not just use date or "person who i am seeing" to be elusive...

Yeah, I've been working in HR for a bit putting people's personal details on a database, and the number of straight folk who use the word "partner" was actually quite surprising. I don't really get it though.

On a related matter, does anyone fancy calling their "partner" their "commonlaw spouse"/husband"/wife" for a bit, just to see how that goes down? KR EXPERIMENT'Z!