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Old 03-01-2011, 12:58 AM
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Charlie Sheen: the hot mess part VII (WINNING!)



i really didn't give all that much of a **** about Charlie Sheen up until now, which has reached a point of Gadafi-esque grandiose delusion. except he looks like sweaty Nixon getting his *** handed to him by Frost.

if you haven't seen the Today show... just take 12 minutes, and enjoy:

(you might have to scroll to the video at the center)


on how he became sober:
"i just.. closed my eyes, and made it so."

on if he thinks it's bad that his kids will have to read about him holding hookers hostage, destroying his adjoining hotel room on their "family" trip to disneyland on a cokebinge, holding their mom at knifepoint, etc:
"umm, no. they get... they get to see me and say "that's this guy"!?! and then, they get to hear the whole story, from me!? umm WINNING!"

on the last time he did drugs
"don't know, don't care. drugs? am i on drugs? i'm on a drug called CHARLIE SHEEN"

on CBS:
"they picked the wrong guy.. they picked a war with a warlock. i will win the war with violent hatred, you either love or hate, and if you live in the middle, you get nothing. so... bring it, dude!"

on why AA is gay:

"what fools! trolls! weak! defeated! they allowed defeat to be an option. i will not. AA is not for people with tiger blood, with Adonis in their veins!"

also:

"Thomas Jefferson, was a *****. I had a diseased brain, but I cured it! I cured it with my mind!"

"i think my passion is misinterpreted as anger, sometimes, and people just aren't ready for my message of violent love"

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Old 03-01-2011, 01:11 AM
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This is the funniest **** he's ever done.

winning!
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Old 03-01-2011, 01:22 AM
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I never gave a **** before either, but I do love a winner! This has made me realise over the last few days that he should be a new obsession for me. The man is GOLD.
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Old 03-01-2011, 01:27 AM
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he's going to be dead imminently.
and/or get in a relationship with lindsay lohan (actually, i'm kindof suprised that hasn't happened already).

it's gonna be like Anna Nicole Smith, where everyone loooovess watching the trainwreck, until it crashes. and then the media coverage and tone all shifts to a "ohh how we loved them! such great person! such a loss to us all, let's look at their career in retrospect" w/ and underbelly of guessing and betting as to what drug ****tail finally did them in.
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Old 03-01-2011, 02:58 AM
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HEY!

We're not talking about some mamby pamby starlet here *****es....we're talking about charlie sheen. Yes he's more bat**** than batman. Yes he has a silver spoon jammed up his *** along with many other things. yes he is a dickhead and a cokehead and a speedhead and a pothead and probably a parrothead and definitely a methhead....

But Goddammit...Just like Keith Richards...HE HAS SURVIVED!..and in America that should count for something you nihililstic nano circuit worshippers... Gloria Gaynor even wrote a song about it all..and she surely had Charles Carlos in mind when she wrote it...she'd been around the town enough to know how martin rolled and see the future...

But nevermind all that ****...

Charles Carlos is an innovator *****es...Had you ever heard of a "Porn Family Mansion" before Charles Carlos..Had you ever thought of a "Porn Family Thanksgiving" before Charles Carlos....That would be a Godddamnnn NOOOO *****es....

So all of you haters stop *****in about Charlie Sheen...he is blazing a path forward to the glorious sexual communist future for all of us mere mortals here in mankind.
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