These men are sexless to me. Not ugly, not repulsive. Too boring to even register. Rod Stewart is gross, but I can picture him having lots of sex. I don't like to, but I can.
I can't imagine any of these men having sex.

1. Jerry Seinfeld: Every week on his show, Jerry was dating a different hot girl. He talked about sex a lot. There was an episode about masturbation. And STILL I can't picture him actually having sex.

2. Roger Ebert: I can't even picture Roger having enough testosterone to grow facial hair. Although it's probably best he doesn't. He would look gross with it. You could give this guy a popcorn bucket with a hole in the bottom and he would have no idea what to do with it. "Heck dear, we can mess around anytime. Let's watch Plains, Trains and Automobiles instead."

3. Mike Myers: He played Austin Powers and that horny fag in 54, but I still don't see it. I found the schwing shit in Wayne's World totally unconvincing. I wish I could spend a few minutes in Mike Myers body just to see what it would be like to be Mike Myers and have an erection. I have a feeling my head my pop, like comtemplating what lies beyond the edge of the universe.
(His sexually dead quality might have something to do with his hair and baby-fat.)

ohhh dibs.

mel gibson. i just cant. especially now

and of course, tom cruise

tom green