is so so brilliant. i think his comedy is SO clever and deadpan.

share the demetri love.
are there demetri fansites?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...me dium&hl=en

(hopefully that works)

my favourite is:

"i want to get a bunch of hermit crabs... and force them to live together"

isaw him on tv hes funny

this one is good too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE9QGmZbd-Q

I LOVE HIM.

LIKE, A LOT.

i've been a fan for about three years now, he did a standup set when on conan when he was a writer there, and i just adored him instantly. i've seen him at the melbourne comedy festival for the last couple of years, and i'm really hoping he'll be back this year. his one man show dr. ernest parrot presents demetri martin was one of the most brilliant things i've ever seen.



ps. i love his trendspotting segments on the daily show too.

FUCK not having an edit button.

also:


"the best way to add insult to injury, is.. to write "you're a fucking douchebag" on someone's cast".

and

"i wonder what's the smallest size trashcan i could put outside, and get those guys to empty, clean, and replace?"

"whenever i use my computer, i dont type lol. i type lqtm, laugh quietly to myself... its more honest"

"i went into a clothing store, and the woman asked me what size i am... and i said.. actual..."

double fuck not having an edit button.

another gem:

"i saw a tranvestite walking down the street the other day wearing a shirt that said 'guess'

" so i'm in a weird place, because.. i like rainbows, but i'm not gay. so if i wear a shirt with a rainbow on it, underneath i gotta write 'not gay'.. but i don't want to offend... so i'd also write 'but supportive?'.... i think it's pretty lame that one group has a monopoloy on refracted light.. i mean, that's pretty greedy gays."

yes I love that boy.

I'm too tired to think too hard about a favorite, but I like his bit about flowers-
something like this:

"I don't think you should give flowers to people you love, cos that's like saying 'here, watch these die'. I think you should give them to people you don't like and say 'here, you're next. so you better put your feet in water cos I'm coming after you'"

oh, and I like his bit about getting shoes. he tells the shoesalesman which shoes he wants, in size eleven. the salesman comes back out and says 'we don't have them in a size 11, but we have a ten.' demetri says 'perfect because while you were in the back getting these shoes, my toes were severed off.'

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i love him! he's not trashy, which is refreshing in comedy. it gets old when comedians use the same dirty humor for their stand up acts.

haha. I love him.

HAHA yes. this is my favourite.

i love demetri

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i think there may be something on my head.

demetri is hilarious!

i love that he does palindromes.
like from http://www.avclub.com/content/node/55840/print/ :

AVC: You're about to film a stand-up special for Comedy Central. What can we expect from that? If possible, can you put your answer in the form of a palindrome?

Demetri Martin: Wow. O.K.

A still animal sits afoot. Tones I ring.

I sing (i.e. ride it, nuts open). On or off, I riff.

Uh… I, to lasses, say, "Oh aha, hah, all!"

It's tops. It is a Tao, bro, to my baby demo.

Can one poet arise so rosy?

As "D" I star. Comedy, baby. My my, a show.

Oh say "my my," baby.

Democrats? I'd say so. (Roses irate.)

Open, on a comedy baby motorboat. As "it"

I spot still a "ha hah!" ahoy. Assess a lot.

I huff, I riff, or on one post untied, I reign.

I sign. I rise, not too fast.

I slam. In all, it's a K.O. wow.

(Second answer: I will tape an hourlong live stand-up special for Comedy Central at the Paramount Theater in Austin. It will be very important and interesting. The poem above presents some of the details of that show in verse form. It highlights some of the elements and emotions of the live comedy experience, and employs the imagery of a boat to represent something.)

(Third answer: Poop.)

(Note: The first and third answers to this question are palindromes… ladies?)

are these from the 1 hr comedy central special he just did? goddammit, i need to see that! seriously, if he doesn't come back here again for the melbourne festival this year, i'm going to be very very sad.

my favourite joke would have to be "saying i'm sorry is the same as saying i apologize. unless you're at a funeral".

and every time i see a crate and barrel store, i giggle.

they are.
it's from "Demetri Martin: Person"
which, i convienantly found a link in full to:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...n%3Along&hl=en

thank you SO much. you can have my first born child.

I have the "these are jokes" cd if anyone wants it. But please no offers for children. Also, I think I deleted a couple of the bits where his "grandmother" was talking because they weren't very funny to me.

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i love him so much, but i feel like i havent heard from him in forever

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my heart isn't black, it's just dirty from the floors

ohh i would love if you could post the 'these are jokes' cd.
that'd be such a lovley contribution to this wonderful wonderful thread.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/bqae0f

i didn't delete what I thought I did, apparently I deleted track 3.

I can rip it from the cd later & post it later, probably tomorrow.

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hahah he's so hilarious.

my favourite: "... glitter is the herpes of craft supplies." there's more to it but i can't remember and i don't want to butcher it