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  #1  
Old 04-21-2006, 02:53 AM
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Black Books

appreciation thread, since the old one got wiped.

So...here are some quotes from this show that I love and miss so much.


Bernard: I've never said it before because I'm too nice, but your son has the cold, dead eyes of a killer.

Bernard: It's all waffle! Nobody is prepared to admit that wine doesn't have a taste.
Manny: Of course you can't taste anything, you smoke eighty bajillion cigarettes a day. What's that you're eating?
Bernard: It's some sort of delicious biscuit.
Manny: It's a coaster!

Bernard: [to angry skinheads] Which one of you bitches wants to dance?

Fran: So Manny, tell us about yourself.
Manny: Well, I was born in London...
Bernard: Not so fast, David Copperfield. If you're going to go that far back we're going to need popcorn or something.

Bernard: You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.

Manny: Do you think I should wash my beard?
Bernard: I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

What's your favourite episode? Mine's the one where Bernard gets locked out of the shop and gets a job at Mambo Burger.
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  #2  
Old 04-21-2006, 01:14 PM
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shadowplay shadowplay is offline
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ohhh I love black books, the actress who plays fran is practically the same in real life, well whenever I've seen her being interviewed.
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  #3  
Old 04-21-2006, 04:38 PM
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Oh, Black Books rule!
The episode when Bernard gets locked out is awsome. And the one with the wine also.

And these are pics of me and a couple of freinds recreating certain moments.

The Fran talking to Hal Granger moment.


The Bernard getting locked out moment:


Bernard and Fran


Me being Bernard


Totally random, I know.
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  #4  
Old 04-21-2006, 05:12 PM
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That's awesome. I love that show.Cobumbo...Belly Savalas...classic.
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  #5  
Old 04-21-2006, 06:37 PM
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My favourite episode is the one where Fran goes to the hens night and Bernard and Manny write the childrens book.

"...they all drank lemonade. THE END."
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  #6  
Old 04-21-2006, 09:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowplay
ohhh I love black books, the actress who plays fran is practically the same in real life, well whenever I've seen her being interviewed.
it wouldnt suprise me. i think they all just play themselves. i saw dylan moran a bit ago and he was just bernard. but a bit more candid.

freaky cleaner man "what are you doing?"
bernard "some ash fell im just rubbing it into my trousers"
freaky cleaner man "dirty"

manny aka lord of the rings "dooty dooty do"
bernard "stop singing in the bath"
manny "im not singing in the bath im singing on the toilet"
bernard (looking really freaked) "stop singing on the toilet then!"

bernard "jam jam jamm, jam jam jamm...eergh"

frans friend (at hens nite) "you wouldnt do that....why did you say that??!"
fran "cos he was reeally itchy!" (my fav fran bit.ha)
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  #7  
Old 04-21-2006, 09:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perfect Drug
Oh, Black Books rule!
The episode when Bernard gets locked out is awsome. And the one with the wine also.

And these are pics of me and a couple of freinds recreating certain moments.

The Fran talking to Hal Granger moment.


The Bernard getting locked out moment:


Bernard and Fran


Me being Bernard


Totally random, I know.
ahahahahaha thats great! best thing ive seen in ages. ha. now i want a cigarette damn you!

fuck lucky strikes eh? i used to smoke them in menthol now i can never find them.
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  #8  
Old 04-22-2006, 03:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perfect Drug
Oh, Black Books rule!
The Bernard getting locked out moment:
Oh my god, this one made me laugh so hard! The others are great too.
I love the wine/cleaner man episode too, I forgot about it. It's fantastic though.
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  #9  
Old 04-22-2006, 03:50 AM
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YES I saw dylan a few weeks ago as well, and im planning on seeing him again on Thursday night. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt for hours afterwards.

"have you got anything with nurses?"
"i mean, nurses in administration, they have to be in administration"
"senior nurses in administration?"
"oh, lets just watch it together with a bottle of red then shall we?"

hahaha thats one of my favourites as well. the mambo burger scene is hilarious.

i love the Moo-Ma & Moo-Pa episode as well bahahaha that ones great.

oh oh oh & the episode where they housesit and manny gets the wines confused so Bernard makes up his own special view ala frankenstein style.



haha or from the first episode

"Which one of you bitches wants to dance? Hey you know when you're doing your usual threesome thing you do of a weekend, and the moonlight's bouncing of your heads and your arses and everything, does that not get a bit confusing? Right, this is you, ok? Millwall! That's the one. Do you know this chant? "Millwall, Millwall, you're all really dreadful, and your girlfriends are unfulfilled and alienated"...
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  #10  
Old 04-22-2006, 04:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheshire Cat
Oh my god, this one made me laugh so hard! The others are great too.
I love the wine/cleaner man episode too, I forgot about it. It's fantastic though.
Right after i took this pic my grandmother walked in.
It was really weird trying to explain to her what we were doing and why my friend had a beard and a scarf on her head...
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  #11  
Old 04-24-2006, 02:09 AM
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oh fucking BUMP
more quotes please - this show is fucking genius.
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  #12  
Old 04-24-2006, 04:21 AM
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This is probably my favourite quote ever, it's from the first episode:

Bernard: [speaking through a megaphone] Right, the shop is closed, everybody get out! Time to go home, come on!
Old lady: But it's only quarter to three!
Bernard: Yes, but it's my shop.
[now shooing them out with a broom]
Bernard: Come on, go home, bye bye, get out...
Old lady: That's hardly fair!
Bernard: It isn't fair at all. Get out!
Rich Guy: I expect better service!
Bernard: Well, expect away. Goodbye! Come on, all you time-wasting bastards, back on the streets. Thank you!
[slams door]

More quotes
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  #13  
Old 04-24-2006, 05:35 AM
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  #14  
Old 04-24-2006, 06:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perfect Drug
Right after i took this pic my grandmother walked in.
It was really weird trying to explain to her what we were doing and why my friend had a beard and a scarf on her head...
So worth it though, right?
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  #15  
Old 04-25-2006, 09:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cautious lip
That's awesome. I love that show.Cobumbo...Belly Savalas...classic.
"Oh god... you didn't do Cobumbo, did you?"
"...No. I didn't have any cigars"

I don't think that's exact, but the proper version was my sig for a while.
My favourite episode is when they're house-sitting and drink the wine... "I have returned!"
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  #16  
Old 04-25-2006, 09:38 AM
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Got some more:

"Bet you I can recommend and sell a book to that guy there"
"Ten quid?"
"Right. [walks over to a man who is reading...] Hello."
"Will you leave me alone? I'm tired of being hounded by salesmen in shops! I'm browsing, alright? Browsing! At the end of it, I might buy something; I might not, but you will not influence me one iota! Not one jot! Now I have finished with you, YOU MAY GO!"















"Best of three?"
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  #17  
Old 04-25-2006, 09:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkette
oh oh oh & the episode where they housesit and manny gets the wines confused so Bernard makes up his own special view ala frankenstein style.
and kills the pope!
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  #18  
Old 04-25-2006, 09:46 AM
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This seemed like it needed to be posted:

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  #19  
Old 04-25-2006, 09:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SickleCell
This seemed like it needed to be posted:

ARGHAHAHAHA!

See - THAT is one of the reasons that's my favourite episode.
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  #20  
Old 04-25-2006, 12:01 PM
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I love the episode where Fran is learning the piano, and Bernard gets a girlfriend who thinks he is wonderful and he says something along the lines of
"She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be quite upset when she finds out I'm a reclusive WANKER"

And the Simon Pegg episode with Goliath Books
Manny "This is my yoga bag"

I love love love it.
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