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10-26-2008, 11:36 PM
|  | garnish w/ parsley | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alaska 261
Posts: 7,847
| |  omg. OKAY, NO.
my sweet tiny dog has been passing human-caliber wind. for like a week now.
and i mean.
it's creepy on several levels.
do you know how many humans i have accused of doing this?
well, okay. just one. over and over.
and yeah. that's kinda funny.
but anyway.
and i know i really shouldn't be feeding her kfc and saltines.
which is.
you know.
what i eat.
well, actually.
i don't EVER eat kfc. EVER.
except just this one day i had a craving.
i don't even need halp w/ this problem.
i already know how to solve it.
no more fast food.
but i thought the saltines would actually HELP, you know?
settle her stomach???
whatevs.
my dog farted. and it was so bad i had to spray some seasonal gingerbread spray from target. from '07.
a thread.
by clotty. 
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10-26-2008, 11:37 PM
| | garnish w/ parsley | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alaska 261
Posts: 7,847
| | | holy shit! i can make threads again!
USA 43VA!
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10-26-2008, 11:42 PM
| | garnish w/ parsley | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alaska 261
Posts: 7,847
| | | okay.
i gave her some chicharrones today too.
it's just. you know?
i mean what would you do?
tell her to go eat that shitty dry dog food shit that tastes like sea rot? (i know bc i know)
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10-27-2008, 12:27 AM
|  | Nobody's Cunt | | Join Date: May 2008 Location: Brazil Indiana
Posts: 1,059
| | O_o wtf?  |
10-27-2008, 12:59 AM
|  | fizzy lifting drinks | | Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,419
| | | |
10-27-2008, 01:03 AM
| | garnish w/ parsley | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alaska 261
Posts: 7,847
| | | so how DO you serve it?
it looks like sthng i would rub on my face?
her face??
spf 94.
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10-27-2008, 01:03 AM
|  | a promise with a catch | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: golden gated
Posts: 6,362
| | | how old is buzz?
because when my other dog got started getting old (around like 8 yrs or so), it had the most UNGODLY gas. and we took it to the vet and he said that the dog was 1) eating too fast and 2) that dogs who're "older" need to eat special food, or get their food changed up to fancy food with less additives in it, because it's easier for them to digest, and that older dogs (not unlike older people) get the shits and farts from food moreso than younger ones.
so, to make it eat slower we fed it like 4 times instead of 2 (the same amount of food, just spread out so it couldn't scarf everything down), and it got fancy hippie dog food; i think it was called natural ballence?
and things got better. until it got really old, right before it died, and it started pooping in the house from time to time because it was too old and slow to get to the door. |
10-27-2008, 01:05 AM
| | fizzy lifting drinks | | Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,419
| | | i guess its a gel-like stuff that you can just squirt at the food and the dog will like it? if it were like something that you HAD to apply to the anus but then it worked forever and nothing else did, would you rub it on her butt every day or say fuck it? |
10-27-2008, 01:20 AM
| | garnish w/ parsley | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alaska 261
Posts: 7,847
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by cricket  i guess its a gel-like stuff that you can just squirt at the food and the dog will like it? if it were like something that you HAD to apply to the anus but then it worked forever and nothing else did, would you rub it on her butt every day or say fuck it? | well frankly. i'm kinda anal (HAW HAW HAW!)
and i often trail her into the bathroom and wipe her butt w/ toilet paper when she's done making.
there's rarely any residuals, but again, i'm...ANAL AHHH HAW HAWHAHW.
anyway. i'd put a gel on heranus. n.p.
bitchface, buzz will be 3 in january.
oh trust me.
it's all the french fries.
but it's like. the other day. i found a shit on her piss mat that was giant and human-looking and i wept.
but other than that she free-feeds on expensive hippy food.
i eat canned beans while buzz eats $17 per one pound bag type of shit.
forever.
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10-27-2008, 01:30 AM
| | fizzy lifting drinks | | Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,419
| | | i could never rub peter's butthole. if he had a butthole-only condition, i would really have to perform cat removal. but you'd take him and rub his butt right?? |
10-27-2008, 01:36 AM
| | garnish w/ parsley | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alaska 261
Posts: 7,847
| | | oh yes, definitely.
look, buzz eats lots of weird shit off the floor.
strings, hair, i don't fucking know.
so, many times i end up having to assist her defecations.
she's not unlike the elderly.
none of this is a problem for me.
when peter gets to be too much of a burden for your hip young lifestyle, he knows where to come.
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10-27-2008, 01:41 AM
| | fizzy lifting drinks | | Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,419
| | | there is nothing hip about my life, so lets just get that out in the open. i used to help my elderly special in the head people wipe their butts a lot. well usually i'd just get them into the shower and use the detachable shower head to spray their butts. but help is help and frankly i think thats a lot more helpful than wiping it with dry paper thank you very much. |
10-27-2008, 01:45 AM
| | garnish w/ parsley | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alaska 261
Posts: 7,847
| | | THAT, and you can't help peter make things clean???
oh mercy.
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10-27-2008, 01:50 AM
| | fizzy lifting drinks | | Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,419
| | | well i threaten to kick him out constantly so it hardly counts now or ever since he's still here after five years. i'm sure if he really had a butt problem i would help him, but luckily he doesn't so i don't actually have to worry about it. once in a while he gets an eye goober and i pick that out for him. i'm not really into pet neglect i just talk like it.
anyway there is a lot of googles about canine gas. something something enzymes? it seems fixable. |
10-27-2008, 01:56 AM
| | garnish w/ parsley | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alaska 261
Posts: 7,847
| | | yeah. stop feeding them fried taters!
it's so creepy tho?
don't you think it's creepy?
how come when i feed her apples and carrots and doritos and salami she doesn't smell like humans??
only kfc and del taco.
WHY??
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10-27-2008, 01:57 AM
| | garnish w/ parsley | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alaska 261
Posts: 7,847
| | | FAST FOOD IS HUMAN ENZYMES. HUMAN FLESH. OMG!!! CANNIBALS HOLOCAUSTS!!!
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10-27-2008, 05:41 AM
|  | ♪ | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: about:blank
Posts: 6,296
| | | turn buzz the vegetarian way
do you ever feed him grass?
not GRASS, just grass?
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Tomorrow is a mystery
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10-27-2008, 06:07 AM
| | garnish w/ parsley | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alaska 261
Posts: 7,847
| | | well if you knew how that made me titter.
she doesn't really eat that of her own accord, but.
okay i'ma titter some more.
12!
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10-27-2008, 06:22 AM
| | ♪ | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: about:blank
Posts: 6,296
| | okay
maybe it's only for the felines?  
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Yesterday was history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift - that's why it's called the present
- Babatunde Olatunji (and Kung Fu Panda)
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Yesterday, 05:30 PM
|  | In Utero Goddess | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: west
Posts: 2,113
| | | buzz should have anything she wants. the end.
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