Just wondering if most of you parents or those who want kids one day...have a gender preference for your kid(s)? I know most say "Anything healthy" but beyind that, have you ever felt you'd be a better parent to a certain gender? Or is there some reason you wanted one or the other? Or one of each? etc..Did you ever think there's an ideal number of kids you wanted to have- did you always want just one "only child" or did you always want a large family because you were an only child, or did you want a large family because you grew up with a lot of siblings? etc...Just curious...

Me--> Grew up with a family that is not close. 1 older bro, who's 6 years older and never been close. Not close to my parents. I'm not outgoing, I'm a total introvert so it was always hard to make good friends.....so, I always wanted at least 3 kids as long as I could financially care for them. Would love 4, would settle for 3. I wanted at least 2 girls and if I'd only have 2 kids I wanted 2 girls but I did want at least one more kid, a boy...so I wanted at least 2 kids, preferably 3, and possibly 4 but not more. My body can't handle 4 though. I doubt I'll even have 3. And I always wanted 2 girls because I longed for a sister SOOOOO bad, it's selfish in a way but I wanted very much for mt daughter to have a sister. If I'd had a boy instead I'd still have been thrilled, but would have been a little sad, for some reason, I wanted a sister so bad and I have always thought of a sister as a soul mate, a best friend..lifelong companion...etc. I idealize sisters. But have been told by half the female friends who have them that they were never nearly as close as my idealized idea of sisters and some were downright just not close at all. The other half say their sister IS their best friend.

I think I wouldn't know what to do with a boy, at least, I think I wouldn't know what to do if I *only* had boys....but also people have told me that mothers and sons have really special, unique bonds..I was told that there is no bond I can have with my daughters that couldn't be just as special if not more with a son. I also have a friend who's a girly girl, and she always dreamed of having daughters so she could babydoll them up, fix their hair, go dress shopping, do makeup, talk girl talk, play Barbies and princess and dress up. She had 3 boys....and says she would not trade any of them for a girl.

Just have insomnia and am up comtemplating this. If mothers have gender preferences, is it wrong, selfish, and due to our own baggage?? Or is it normal?

My husband is one of 3 brothers and his mother wanted a girl BADLY. The 3rd birth was so bad, she did not try one more time...he always says if she had tried one more time and it had been a girl...they would have hated her because she would have been one rotten, spoiled, coddled, special-treatment receiving brat! LOL. I think that;s another issue, parents who cannot treat their children as separate but equal. My parents always treated me crappily while treating my brother like a god among men, probably another reason I always wanted a girl. Issues much, yeah...

Were I to spawn, I'd just really hope that they weren't stupid. :kind of kidding:

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actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

i grew up as an only child, but i do have siblings that i've never met...it's complicated. but anyway, i would never want a big family because a) childbirth seems horrible and i am not willing to put myself through such pain, b) there are enough people in the world and i'd rather adopt, and c), i find children in general slightly vile. so the perfect number of children for me would probably be two, either two girls or a girl and a boy. and i'd want the boy to be slightly girly so we'd be really close and i could dress him up in a pink tutu. because at the end of the day i am the nurturing type, though i don't like to admit it...but i'm only good at it and willing to be nurturing if the child is just as loving back. which is why i don't think i'd be so good at raising boys, they'd probably just end up by being closer to their father. i want a little boy who wants to wear tutus and pick flowers with me, damnit!

Children are tiny people that you own, but they aren't dolls, dearie!
At least you went on to mention the boy actually wanting to dress in a tutu and pick flowers. The first bit sounded rather more forceful!

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Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

yeah, i know. i didn't mean to sound forceful! it's all chance though, isn't it. maybe like, when he's a baby i could put all pink girly things in his cot.

I agree with that, i grew up as a only child in a family mainly female dominated despite one male younger cousin so i often wonder the same.

I don't know, I think if you're in the situation where you are pregnant you won't be swayed either way. On the other side, having a girl i think most women just want to go through a second childhood. Either one i would like to teach how to play guitar and do cool stuff with.

If it's a really nice baby, just think of all the bad people who started out as lovely wee poppets! Don't rest on your laurels...

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

Same, except without the kidding I guess.

Who the fuck wants stupid kids?

Control freaks.

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Who needs love when there's Southern Comfort?

I'd like three or four kids I think. I'm pregnant with my first at the moment so I guess I might change my mind if I find childbirth to be more horrendous then I am expecting. But my partner has said he only wants two. I'd like one of each to be honest. A boy and a girl would be perfect.

It's not about "wanting" them, but if they were my kids and they were stupid, I'd still love them and be happy. And teach them to colour inside the lines.

__________________
Time is the distance that you can't return by miles.

I escaped somehow. Let's go

actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter

i don't really care whether i have girls or boys but i wouldn't mind sons, hey. i love little boys, they are dirty and fun and sweet and cool.

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girl

I would want to be their friend too when they grow up but you cannot really do that as much with a boy or your son will get "momma's boy" remarks. Plus with girls its easier giving them toys/ interests that are more boy orientated as well as the girl stuff and it doesn't really matter. But with a boy, even if he really likes playing with that toy cooker/cutlery wash set, extended family or friends tend to cast dissaproving eyes ....ugh . I know I shouldn't care, anyway, I think it would be harder...

If I had kids, it would have to be GIRLS. Because I wouldn't know what to do with little boys. I had a sister, my mum was one of three girls, most of my cousins who were my age were girls, I went to an all girls school, the list goes on. I would cry if I had a little boy. Absolutely CRY. Then force him to be gay. I mean what do you do if you have a son and then you have to feign interest in football? And little baby boys can pee in your eye when you change their nappies. Ungrateful fuckers.

MASSIVE chuckle to the person who repped me with "Don't breed (in a caring way)"! Its good advice, I think I shouldn't be allowed near children. I am pretty much unsuited to the role in every way, and will only consider popping one out if a) my future husband agrees to do EVERYTHING for them, like a gender role reversal FROM THE 1950s! Or b) if the peer pressure gets too much.

I don't think I want children, but if for some odd reason I were to pop out a baby I'd hope it was a boy. Whenever I've pictured myself with a child it's been a boy, don't ask why.

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i'd like a whole gaggle of each.

however, my bf only wants 2. so i guess one of each will have to suffice.

I used to want girls before I started working with kids. Once girls hit puberty, they're bitches.. end of story. I think I'd still want a girl, but I have a feeling I'd be a much cooler mom of boys. they tend to be more laid back.

I dunno. I've known a few nice girls. but only a few. same with lads though.

There are not that many nice people around it seems
Of either sex.