I'm just wanting to get some opinions about breastfeeding and feeling sexy etc.
It's very clear to me that I am not at all ready to be a mother. However, it occassionally crosses my mind that maybe I won;t feel like this forever.
Do you ever just feel like you want your SELF back? I mean, whether you're just breastfeeding or you're in a sexual relationship with someone and breastfeeding at the same time, do you ever just lose your connection with your own breasts? Having so many demands on them...
And do you go back to feeling the same way about your breasts after the child finishes that phase of its life?

Did anyone feel 'gross' about the first time they breast fed?

When I hear stories about children being b/f until they are 2/3/4 I feel physically sick. Esp when they are aggressive about wanting the 'teat'. Is that normal? Why do I feel like that?

you should never feel bad about your teats, there will always be someone who will like them

kthx :ignorefunction:

seth is almost three and still nurses for naptime and bedtime. when he was nursing all the time i felt overwhelmed and frankly didnt want my husband pawing at me. i was sick of my body being used for everyone elose. i felt like i was being used for my body, which i was. it bothered me sometimes

but the actual nursing part is good. the body releases all thhese hormones which make you feel calm and happy and SO CLOSE to your baby, so within five minutes or so of nursing, i was blissed out and ok with being used like that.

being a mother, the whole thing about being a mother is that you are being used for someone else. its hard work all the time. i respect anyone who knows they dont want children. i dont know if you do or not, or if you ever will but dont feel like you have to. its truly only for those who really want to have their alone time cut to zero for at least ten years. and then you gotta prepare for adolescence which i hear is a nightmare.

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the cave mouth shines
by pure force of will
i look down on the world
from the top of this lonesome hill
and you can run, and run some more
from here all the way to singapore
but i will carry you home in my teeth
-mountain goats

I tried breastfeeding my 2 sons, and couldn't feed either of them. I ended up resenting them because I was so sore and felt I was such a let down and bad mother. Other people's opinions really pissed me off, and made me feel alot worse than I needed to.

I'm expecting another son in about 5-6 weeks and will try to breastfeed, but have warned my new partner that I do not need any hassle from him or his family if I am unable to breastfeed and he's cool with that.

I do feel confused about whether I really want to breastfeed or not, because to be honest I love my boobs being played with during foreplay, and selfishly do not want that to stop. I really don't know how I will feel at the time, because there is a part of me who wants to breastfeed but a part of me that doesn't.

you care and want to try youre not a bad mother! were you able to get support for this? i mean were you able to get a lactation consultant to ensure that your sons were latching properly? there is some soreness at first, but that quickly abates, from what i can remember (its only been two years since i was constantly breastfeeding, but it feels like forever ago).

other people dont matter. what matters is your relationship with your children. if you really want to try, i highly recommend a lactation consultant to visit you at home as well as utilizing the one in the hospital (check and see if your hospital has that service)

__________________
the cave mouth shines
by pure force of will
i look down on the world
from the top of this lonesome hill
and you can run, and run some more
from here all the way to singapore
but i will carry you home in my teeth
-mountain goats

mine nursed for ten months and i liked everything about that time, except leakage. i felt really secure and good about myself. and i loved my bigger bra size. *sighhhhhh*

I wasn't given much help in hospital with my first one, and once I came home my mother in law took over and would literally snatch my son outta of arms and bottlefeed him. I didn't realise at the time that I had slight PND and I was too scared to stand up to her.

With my second son, I was with a new partner so no interferring mother in law (well so I thought), but I didn't produce enough milk. The health visitor came round one day and lent me a breastpump to see if I could express milk and after 90 minutes, there was a tiny amount and she told me I was not designed to breastfeed, so I may as well stop. My partners mother had successfully breastfed all 3 of her children and really looked down on me for not being able to breastfed her grandson, and made me feel really useless.

My partner now is really understanding and has said he will support me, but will not judge me if I don't want to or am unable to breastfeed. Truthfully I do really want to be able to do it, and will ask for support this time.

yay! im glad that youll ask for support. demand it, even! you deserve good care.

im so sorry that you had hard experiences previously. my birth experience was a nightmare and im still very sensitive about it so i know how it feels to be pushed around and you feel literally helpless to it.

i never was able to express much milk by pump, so try not to fret about that. hook up with LLL or a lactation consultant and if anyone is rude with you throw them out! and get a new person. the biggest thing to watch for is proper latch and then for making sure you are giving enough milk, that the newborn produce five to six wet diapers a day. breast pumps are inferior to the babies natural ability to suck. but sometimes babies need help figuring out how to latch. and youre absolutely right, bottle feeding inbetween nursings is conducive to a baby giving up on nursing.

i wish you all the best and congrats on the pregnancy!

__________________
the cave mouth shines
by pure force of will
i look down on the world
from the top of this lonesome hill
and you can run, and run some more
from here all the way to singapore
but i will carry you home in my teeth
-mountain goats

Honestly, while I was pregnant my attitude was "touch them and I'll cut it off". They were that sensitive. This unfortunatly continued after I had my daughter. I breastfed for the first week, but then I had such complications I had to switch to formula. One nip split almost in half, and the other boob was so engorged that I was unable to nurse. This was with help from lactation nurses. So do what's right for you, don't let anyone pursuade you one way or the other.

nursing a newborn is extremely demanding, it's certainly a shock going back to a newborn's almost continuous nursing after being used to a 2yr old's once or twice a day.

i don't really find breasts being a sexualised body part to be relevent though - bfing kind of occupies and consumes my whole body and if i nursed from my elbow or big toe i don't think i would feel any different. but maybe that's just because i don't have time to even think about sex right now...

i really wish men could lactate, seems like a failing of evolution that it's just down to 1 parent.

i wish men could carry the baby for 9months too but that's a whole other thread.
are you tandem nursing? how's that going?

men have milk ducks can really can lactate if they do the thing addoptied mothers do so they like nurse

no, my daughter weaned a few months ago. she's shown a bit of interest in it again but i don't think she remembers what to do exactly. i'm relieved that it hasn't become a source for jealousy as i was worried might happen. and i don't think i would have had the patience for tandem nursing.

just a bump to get spam off the entire first two pages!

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i breastfed my son for right around this amount of time
i did meet one mom who breastfed till around 4
and i did have a couple people who thought he was a bit old at anything past 2 but those were the same type of people who thought breastfeeding was gross in general at any age really
though one lady who i met later (after i was no longer bfing him) made a
comment about how it seemed wrong once the child is old enough to request it which i just totally don't understand her problem there...
anyways, by the time he was around 3 it was only once a day either the middle of the night/very first thing in the morning
but at this point it was summer again and then between the heat making me not want to be so close to someone and the fact that it was only at the time of the day that i had to wake up for it and i was tired and grumpy i suddenly went from being 100% ok with it and never had any problems on my part with separating myself from the breastfeeding during times i was having sex w/ my boyfriend (though i admit he did have some awkwardness about the fact i was breastfeeding) to just not wanting my son so near me /hated the situation so much all at once that i knew it was time that i was done w/ it and i weaned him i regret to say on yoo-hoo juice boxes as it was the only thing whatsoever he was willing to accept instead of a morning breastfeeding!

long story short, i didn't have any problems w. how i felt about my breasts during breastfeeding and when i got to the point that i didn't enjoy the act anymore/felt like it was too great of a demand on me, then i stopped

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should i choose a noble occupation
if i did i'd only show up late and sick
and they would stare at me with hatred
plus my only natural talent's wasted