OK, I watched it and my first impressions were "so this is what an Olympic opening ceremony would be like if the organiser was gifted with an open chequebook and bags of coke".

After the fact, I came up with several ideas of how it could have been bettered to provide a more concise view of what constitutes "Britishness":

* During the NHS "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" homage, Angela Lansbury should have been yanked out of current obscurity and dressed up as a ward matron who launches into a heartfelt rendition of "Wouldn't It Be Luvverly"

* The truly embarrassing "Teens Instant Messaging Each Other" sequence should have been rounded off with George Sampson and the Diversity dance troupe bodypopping to the music from the "webuyanycar.com" ad

* Include footage of Aleksandr the Meerkat reading Betjeman's "Slough" over a "best of" sequence encompassing episodes of "The Office", concluding with the clip of Ricky Gervais doing THAT dance

* Include footage of people forced onto the Work Programme spontaneously bursting into dance while cleaning chimneys of their local Work Providers and singing "You've Got To Pick A Pocket Or Two"

* Do a "rave" sequence of people chasing legal highs while throwing shapes to the theme music from the BBC News and NatWest ads, and then afterward having cups of tea in designated chill out zones

* In a nod to the ever increasing aged population of this green and pleasant land, feature a very special episode of "The Antiques Roadshow" with Fiona Bruce patronising the puppets from the "wonga.com" ad

* Have clips of High Streets on weekends after closing time at pubs and kebab shops with "Trash" by Suede and "Common People" by Pulp as the accompanying soundtrack while people beat each other up, vomit and use any available doorway as public toilet.

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challenging the heterosexist matrix in a single flounce

"Hello, my name is Rula Lenska and as always, I want to look my best"

Overall, it was fairly ace, though, huh?

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I guess i am the only one who thought it was quite unimpressive. Not including champers that is. The NHS/children's literature segment was quite touching (did i miss any Quentin Blake acknowledgement?) and anything Mr Bean related is always amazing, although I thought it could have been much better.

I actually cringed quite a lot with the whole industrial revolution beginning. What was Glastonbury Tor doing there with a tree on top but not surrounded by water.

I thought the celebration of British music and film was horrendous-It was like a school production.

I really enjoyed watching the teams come out with their flags and I loved all the kettles (?) being lit and coming together.

I disliked the social media/music montage bit, but liked that it all seemed to be in homage to Tim Berners-Lee. I think celebrating more British inventors and scientists (like Prof Higgs) would have been a nice move too... Did you not even like the rings forged in the industrial revolution? Up til that point I'd been impressed by the staging, but underwhelmed by the narrative, or whatever you'd call it, but that won me over. And then, y'know, the mother****ing Queen... I'm anti-monarchy and non-nationalist and was very cynical about this whole thing, but generally thought it was pretty impressive.

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Overall, it was much better than expected. When I first saw the NHS sequence, I thought "WTF - a Disneyfied view of the NHS? Kill me now". Once I suspended my disbelief, it really was a powerful piece and hit home how the government is determined to destroy one of the greatest things this country has, so kudos to Danny Boyle for getting the message out on a WORLD platform.

Again, that Instant Messaging sequence - I could have gnawed one of my limbs off through sheer embarrassment. I was seriously hoping one of the messages would highlight the current spate of text and cyberbullying. i.e. "ur fat and ghey, die in a fire" but it was truly a wasted opportunity.

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challenging the heterosexist matrix in a single flounce

"Hello, my name is Rula Lenska and as always, I want to look my best"