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Old 06-13-2006, 11:25 AM
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Let's be specific about rape

As a male, I know that I must ask three times before I take "no" for an answer from a woman. If this were not the case I would not be married to the woman I am.

I was a loser in the past when I took the first "no" as what a woman wanted.

I would like to have a civil discussion about rape. I agree, the concept is vile. How do we define the line between consentual and forced?

Sincerely... can we use some anecdotal examples?

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Old 06-13-2006, 11:36 AM
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i've learned that KR is not the place to expose things about yourself that might make you vulnerable. so i'm not going to share any 'anecdotal examples'
because some cunt will think he can use it to make some not funny but really hurtful joke.

i will say that rape is vile and all destroying. and there are women who accuse men of rape when they haven't been raped, and that say no when they mean yes etc. this is horrible, and so irresponsible. it makes it harder for a woman to be believed if she says she has been raped. and she is demonised and vilified for reporting it, instead of being helped. and the whole problem gets worse.

basically if someone says no once then you should take it as a no. she'll learn soon enough that she can't say no when she means yes. so you don't get sex, OH NOES. you'll survive.
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Old 06-13-2006, 11:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paladin
As a male, I know that I must ask three times before I take "no" for an answer from a woman. If this were not the case I would not be married to the woman I am.
wasn't one no enough?
hmm, did you ever think that perhaps you were intimdating/hassling/pressuring these women into doing you what you want?
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Old 06-13-2006, 11:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by discolexy
i've learned that KR is not the place to expose things about yourself that might make you vulnerable. so i'm not going to share any 'anecdotal examples'
because some cunt will think he can use it to make some not funny but really hurtful joke.

i will say that rape is vile and all destroying. and there are women who accuse men of rape when they haven't been raped, and that say no when they mean yes etc. this is horrible, and so irresponsible. it makes it harder for a woman to be believed if she says she has been raped. and she is demonised and vilified for reporting it, instead of being helped. and the whole problem gets worse.

basically if someone says no once then you should take it as a no. she'll learn soon enough that she can't say no when she means yes. so you don't get sex, OH NOES. you'll survive.
I would agree that others will trash you personally, but that says more about them than you. I have grown dramatically from exposing my vulnerable side. Thank goodness I have one.

I would find absolutely no pleasure in the sexual violence against a woman. I have the fortune of loving myself enough that what comes out of my mouth is love... and what comes out of my desire is the well-being of others. At KR I witness a lot of "verbal rape". This is what seems to be in the unconscious mind of many who post here.

Is rape not the manifestation of the inner shadow? And maybe psychically a woman is asking to be treated rough.... and a man goes too far in reading the unconscious desires and passions that underlie a woman's sexuality, and the vibes they send off?
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Old 06-13-2006, 11:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bunnyclaw
wasn't one no enough?
hmm, did you ever think that perhaps you were intimdating/hassling/pressuring these women into doing to you what you want?
I "asked" in a consentual manner; never pushed too hard. I never have assumed a woman meant "yes" when she said "no". I just learned that I was failing by taking the first "no" as the final answer.

I appreciate this openness. maybe other men will learn better to communicate by this discussion.
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