Gulfnews: Twins meet after 35 years
By Alex Spillius, The Telegraph Group Limited
Published: November 09, 2007, 23:38
Washington: Paula Bernstein and Elyse Schein lived very similar lives. They were both born in New York, edited their high school newspapers and studied film at university. And both were adopted in 1968.
It was only at the age of 35 that they discovered each other and just how similar they were: identical twins who had been separated as infants in a bizarre social experiment.
It came to light when Elyse, who had been living in Paris, had decided to seek her birth mother. She was told that the mother was not interested in meeting her, but was then informed that she had an identical twin, Paula.
After not knowing her sister for three decades, with help from social workers she was able to find her within days.
The two women met for the first time three years ago at a cafe for lunch and talked until the late evening.
"We had 35 years to catch up on," said Paula. "How do you start asking somebody, 'What have you been up to since we shared a womb together?' Where do you start?"
Secret study
On that first day Elyse did not reveal the secret she had discovered during her research. But soon afterwards she told Paula that they had been deliberately separated at birth and were the subjects of a unique study on nurture versus nature, a debate that has enthralled scientists for generations.
The real purpose of the experiment was hidden from their adoptive parents, who were vaguely told that the children were part of an ongoing study. "They neglected to tell them the key element of the study, which is that it was about child development among twins raised in different homes," Paula told America's National Public Radio.
"It was like something out of a movie, I broke down in tears," she said, recalling when Elyse told her about the study.
"Nature intended for us to be raised together, so I think it was a crime we were separated," added Elyse.
Overcoming the turmoil in their emotions, the sisters, who both now live in Brooklyn and are both writers, decided to combine forces and write a book about their childhoods and the intense experience of discovering an identical twin in their mid-30s. "Imagine a slightly different version of you walks across the room, looks you in the eye and says 'hello' in your voice..." they write in Identical Strangers, published recently in the United States.
"Looking at this person, you are able to gaze into your own eyes and see yourself from the outside. This identical individual has the exact same DNA and is essentially your clone. We don't have to imagine."
They also tackled the scientist behind the experiment that changed their lives, Peter Neubauer, an internationally renowned child psychiatrist.
At first he refused to speak but he eventually agreed to meet them as long as their conversation wasn't recorded. They allege he showed no remorse and offered no apology.
The twins found that he was willingly aided by the Louise Wise adoption agency that handled both their adoptions. Viola Bernard, a child psychologist and consultant to the agency, had firmly believed that twins should be raised separately to improve their psychological development, and that dressing and treating them the same retarded their minds.
Separating twins at birth was ended in the state of New York in 1980, a year after the study ended. Aware that his research would be criticised, Neubauer reportedly locked the study in an archive at Yale University, not to be opened until 2066. "It's kind of disturbing to think that all this material about us is in some filing cabinet somewhere," Paula said. The sisters believe that in the great conundrum that justified their separation, nature is more important than nurture. "Twins really do force us to question what is it that makes each of us who we are. Since meeting Elyse, it is undeniable that genetics play a huge role - probably more than 50 per cent," said Paula.
"It's not just our taste in music or books; it goes beyond that. In her, I see the same basic personality. And yet, eventually we had to realise that we're different people with different life histories."
Both veer between regret at the years lost and joy at discovering each other.
"That life never happened. And it is sad, that as close as we are now, there is no way we can ever compensate for those 35 years," Paula said.
Elyse added: "It is hard to see where we are going to go. It's really uncharted territory. But I really love Paula and I can't imagine my life without her."
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