My grandma passed away 2 years ago and to this day, I sometimes still feel guilty cos I didn't visit her while she was in hospital cos I was too busy It's as if I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to her, you know? Damn, that feeling sucks.

Plus, the last christmas we had together, in 2003, I wasn't feeling very good cos I'd just split up with my boyfriend, and, to make matters worse, was extremely moody cos of the pill. Now I'm thinking that our last christmas together wasn't as good as it could have been.
I'm only just starting to get over it now...

hmmm; yea, that must really suck, but i mean if she was dying there's not much you could have done and maybe it's better you didn't go see her in the hospital because it would'e been very difficult to see your grandmother like that. Try to think of the happy memories you have of her you just don't realize things like this until they're over, but it's normal, so you shouldn't feel too bad about it. At least you sound like you had a good relatioship with her before she became ill and that is probably most important because there's so many kids who hardly (or even never) see their grandparents.

hope you feel better

I lived in the US last year (I'm from Europe) and my grandmother ended up in the hospital about 4 times while I was away and I felt so bad because i couldn't be there with her. but now I got back and the day after I my "welcome home" party they had to bring her to the hospital again and because of what happened while I was away and I was so scared of her dying while i was gone i've been visiting her a lot lately, but just because i have absolutely nothing else to do now that I'm back in europe, if I would be busy like you were i probably also would hardly visit her... it's just tat the past year has made me realize that it's important...

My grandmother is very old and sick, and I always feel guilty for seeing her so seldom. That's also a terrible feeling.

My grandmother will be dead 3 years this year and I didn't stay at her house like I was spose to the last saturday night she was alive. She was telling someone before she died how much I meant to her and I never got to let her know before she died. I think of her so much and miss her. But life goes on. There is nothing you can change about situations, you accept them and move on.

there's a thing called rational guilt and another called irrational guilt? know how to tell the difference?

You mean in my case, it's irrational?

I believe it is. I think your grandma probably realized that you are young and have a life. Don't foget.. she, too, was once young so she probably knew what it was like for you to deal with her and her situation. Don't be too hard on yourself, please. Life is for the living. Live and and love much.

my grandma asked me to visit her last week, i didn't go, she passed away this morning.

Don't feel guilty. please. and, i'm sorry for your loss. truly.