I like to think of myself as a giver.

Though I wish that you still didn't see it as a big deal and Orchestral did see it as a big deal, because it's kind of a big ****ing deal. I mean, it's not exactly exciting and revelatory news. Your parents are mortal. ****ing duh. But there's a difference between "My parents are mortal" and "Holy ****, my mother has begun the process of losing most of what makes her a ****ing human being and we are all going to have to deal with what is left, possibly for decades." The latter being kind of a big ****ing deal.

I think a therapist is almost always a great plan. You just have to find one that you can vibe with. When I start looking for a therapist, I go through them like tissues until I find someone that actually works for me and who I know will be able to help me get to the core of my issues while giving me room to be the person that I want to be without judgment. It's a really fine line, obvs, because you also can't get someone who just doesn't give a **** or engage you personally, which is probably the only thing worse than super judgmental ****y therapist.

I don't know why I am so opinions about this, so anyway.

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****phobia: The fear that a man will treat you the way that you treat women.

orchestral, i'm sorry to hear about your mom. that really makes me sad.

as far as your body issue, you remind me a lot of my mother in law. you have mentioned in the other threads that you were a "chubby" kid and so i wonder if you now you will be on this neverending battle to be so far from being chubby as possible, even if it means extreme thin, the kind that doesn't even look cute anymore. my MIL was heavy her whole life (family photo albums reveal she was overweight since childhood) and now that she's lost all her weight and is thin she keeps insisting she needs to drop "just 12 more lbs". which would make her look like the crypt keeper because she's already thin. if you really do think you should be 120 lbs AT SIX FEET TALL you need to see someone about this, because that sounds ridic. you don't want to get into crypt keeper territory.

who says you have to do 800 cals a day anyway? what in the world is wrong with 1200 a day? most people would still lose on that. but if you've slowed your metab to some ungodly slow level 1200 might be a good number to keep you at your current weight.

sorry, didn't mean to turn this into diet/exercise forum. but it's the only thing i knew how to respond to.

when/if the latter comes about all this really becomes a big ****ing deal. imo. (not this disease but another is where i can relate.)
it's like the grieving process begins. again, imo. and with that, for some, fight or flight mode happens.

(hindsight is 20/20)

I'm sorry to hear that about your mum, orchestral.

Ignore the people in this thread saying those aren't real problems; Turning's sensible when he says people have different baselines. Sure, there are people materially worse off than you, or people who suffer discrimination or various obstacles, but that doesn't mean your difficulties aren't real, or something that you should feel embarrassed about wanting help to cope with.

Re: journaling, some people find diaries help to set out their thoughts, but I often find that talking is better and writing on my own has in the past led me to dwell on my problems and become withdrawn.

finally found a good GP who actually listened to me rather than just telling me to get a grip. Meds prescribed and counselling appointment booked. Hopefully I will start to feel better soon.