Amity, **** all those other threads I made out of here. This is the main thread I will post in now. You asked for a tidy forum, so here it is. Please do not move this thread to rants and raves. Okies?
Well, my buddy's life is in ruins. He gets 2x money I do, and drinks 80 units daily. Smokes crack, heroin, weed, takes K, anything he can score. He is a manic depressive and takes olanzapine for that condition.
For the past week, the meds do not seem to help his manic episodes. He is always hysterically laughing. Tonight, he was literally rolling on the floor laughing.
Hate seeing him like this. He must be hurting bad inside. His gf left him and I stabbed him in the back, right in front of his face, with her.
He goes out every weekend, and fights in the city with bouncers and random tramps. He got his ribs broke, his lip cut from top to bottom, locked in a cell too many times and being in court w/ him is insane.
Orchestral told me to take a break from KR
, and go out for a bit instead. So I did. Tonight. And ****, I said to him "Do you want me to hang myself out the window?"
Yeah, keep getting suicidal thoughts that do not act on.
His problems are a lot worse than mine. He's falling, slowly, but surely, into the gutter again. And bringing me with him. But, what am I supposed to do? If he takes one I take two?
Well, **** does not work that way. I take everything for myself. And leave him to go to bed. Then, I come home, back in Channel Broadcasting Radio, talking to 'Mericans.
They've got the Guns, which makes me feel all warm inside.
Some of you here think all because I drink a few T's a night, that my life is ****ed. If you cannot handle me, my friends would **** your brain.
Woke up screaming, saw a mophead standing above me. Took a swing at it. The hallucination faded. All the weed around here is gettng sprayed.
Cannot take the green.
My connections are dying. Buddies ideals degraded. No morals. KWIMS?
So, what do we do now? Where do we go? What next? Heard this tune today. On Magic. Said, "You are going to be somebody."
Buddy wanted to listen to the WHOLE ****ING SONG. Talking about **** like 'Driving in my car'.
You want to know what I thought? Sure, buy yet another house, a car, then drive round scoring every day and **** everything yet again. Get a girl, smack that ***** up, put her on the game, and make her work it.
Then I woke up from that dream. Wiped my face, my eyes, my lips, and took a walk home. No taxi. No credit.
Let me tell you something. This is pretty old. Going back two decades for myself alone. But, life is a trip, and it is not in order. You gotta retune the memory to make sense of it. I do that a lot. On here. When I was much younger. And not online. I used to spend an hour each night in bed just inside my head retuning the memory. Then, I opened my mind. Took a walk around. Got other people to rearrange my memory. Day became night, and night became day.
That was a long time ago. But, do you ever play the game of life? Like, plant seeds in the stream? I do that all the time. Just trying to crack the system. Start a war. Blow it up with bombs.
My favourite routine was Leary, singing about "Eat a ****ing cheeseburger with WWIII on the TV."
That sounds pretty neat.