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Old 03-08-2010, 03:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silvine View Post
I can smell my own paranoia like a wet fart in a car. At the moment, I am definitely not para. My mental health has never been so good - from a psychosis standpoint. Just got the blues from wanting heroin so badly.

Actually, come to think of it - something HAS been happening mentally - I've been having more frequent 'flashbacks' to my days on acid. It is interesting that you should mention paranoia. But, my withdrawal has triggered my acid reflux.

For instance, I don't hear things, but my vision becomes watery. Like I have tears in my eyes. Then another hallucination are the stars. I see tiny bright white lights in front of me. Just dozens of pin-pricks of light all swirling around my head.

I mentioned it in an IOPL today in class - that my work and attendance is suffering from hallucinations. I was not lying either. It is hard to concentrate when you are having a flashback.

it's actually strange you should mention vision. i go through phases of (and i'm having one at the moment) every now and then just... not being able to see properly. like i'm holding my eyes wide open and everything's a little dark and out of focus and... distant. it makes me feel as though things are very far away. and then i get a flush of tiny lights. but at the same time it's a bit like i'm wearing ear muffs or something. it's like one big reality combating helmet.

i get physical flashbacks sometimes too, where i can feel a drug in me, except it's not 2006 anymore. the most common one with that is tasting cocaine in my throat and then my nose goes numb. or a tooth goes numb. it's as if my body tricks itself sometimes. or remembers something i taught it independently of my conscious memory bank.

i've been having crazy dreams again too, but i dont really dream on drugs? it must quieten down that part of my brain. or else the lack just wakes it the hell up :-s

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  #7  
Old 03-08-2010, 03:49 PM
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Originally Posted by calalove View Post
those blues don't ever really go away, silvine
it eventually becomes bearable
Ah, I'll just have to get thru this on my own. Without any meds or drugs. The Kava helps, but it is because I'm getting my fix. It's quite good in a tea where you can pump yourself full of it.

But, I'll take heed of your warning and try and get to understand my depression rather than running from it.
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Old 03-08-2010, 06:23 PM
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Mind you, Kava is a drug. Can be quite awesome though. I couldn't convince my mate Hamish that he wasn't clapping in time to the music.
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Originally Posted by LaBellaVita
The last **** I saw, was so ****ing ugly it literally sent me into a depression. I became suicidal for a week.


actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
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Old 03-08-2010, 10:24 PM
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i'd recommend supplements. 5-htp and tryptophan. i just read a book the 'mood cure' and it has an entire chapter on getting off drugs. most drug users/alcoholics started in the first place because their mood was lacking. so it's no wonder that when you come off you still feel like ****.

i'm taking 5-htp to boost my serotonin levels. it's the amino acid that serotonin is made of. they rec other supplements to balance other other brain chemicals, but that's the one i'm trying. it's not dramatic like drinking kava probably would be but over the course of a few weeks some supplements could help you get some brain chemicals going.
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Old 03-09-2010, 02:04 AM
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Oh, and if you don't drink it out of a shell, you're a total cultural imperialist.
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Originally Posted by LaBellaVita
The last **** I saw, was so ****ing ugly it literally sent me into a depression. I became suicidal for a week.


actualy [sic] I have quite a blessed life if I'm honest. I have many people to love, hate few and have few money problem's [sic].... What more does a person need? Oh yeah and I have some kind of humbleness unlike you of course ^_^ ~ CarefulCarpenter
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