yeah, i bolted right out of bed.

i've experienced sleep paralysis a few times.

but this was different.

the work of that damn ouija board.

i get sleepy when i play w/ it.

bad sign, valentine.

well i was coming into this thread hoping it would be one where everyone could ***** about why they want to cry for no reason

alas it is a ****ty thread about basically nothing that sort of turned into being about aaron

i really just wanted to talk about being ****ed in the head.

sorry.

i prefer threads about aaron to threads about random tears.

and don't try to tell me it's one and the same either.

__________________
some of my customers want me to suck their *****es. i tell them allah did not create my mouth for that purpose.

it has more to do with the parents then the kids?
the kids don't know any better
i mean i always thought As of any sort were good
and Bs were fine
i literally in the 4th grade came home from school one day and had not thought much of my straight A report card because its what i always got
my friend was beside herself with awe at my As and was very excited about her As and Bs because she was going to get some $ for the good grades
so then i realised hey wow that would be cool to get a bit of $ for my straight As which were the best grades out of everyone i know
well so i showed my mom was card and mentioned about my friend and about how my grades were all As and what did she think of that idea
and well basically she got really ****ed
and then said nothing really
and i asked why she was mad
and then she said she was dissapointed in me
i asked why
and she said to me
"why is this one an A-?"
no lie
so i pretty much spiralled into depression from that point on

mind you i was a very young-minded, innocent, non manipulative type of child
and i know now my mom may have not had the $
but i think saying that would have been a better route for her to be honest and tell me that than telling me that i was disappointing becuase i was not perfect

and that interaction right there defines my life, my childhood, my interactions before and since w. my mother
nothing
was ever
good enough

it took me a long time to realise that everyone has thier own strengths and weaknesses and no one can do everything well etc
i still have a very hard time when i am unable to do something, when it is not in my capacity for whatever reason

that was tmi

no clotty
i am not azn

__________________
should i choose a noble occupation
if i did i'd only show up late and sick
and they would stare at me with hatred
plus my only natural talent's wasted