I feel ginormously depressed. I want to get stoned and no one is around. I havent got high in years.

If I thought i could finish a bottle i'd go out and buy liquor. But knowing me, I wouldnt be able to finish one cup. Besides, I think drinking alone would make me feel more depressed.

I feel like I am everyone's temporary solution. Like am only useful until people figure out what they want to do with their life or until someone else comes along to fill the hole that was inside them-----the hole that they tried to clog up with me. Then they heal and throw me away. I am tired of being inside everyones garbage can.

I wish I weren't here anymore.

first step: don't allow yourself to be treated that way. you can change this situation.

stick around, this mood will pass, i promise you that.

oh yea, don't do drugs or drink. the drugs dont work, they just make it worse - true that is

wish i could offer some words of wisdom.
but alas im a depressed individual myself about 85 percent of the time.
im fighting off a potential spell this very minute.
i think the best thing i can offer is to say keep yourself occupied and try not to think too much.

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I, too, am very depressed

Today at work i got lectured for an hour and a half because i "do too much work". Basically I got yelled at because (and they would never admit this) I do so much that it makes my supervisor look bad because she never does anything. She just yelled and yelled and I started crying. I don't deserve that shit

Then I get a letter in the mail saying there is an overdraft charge of $30 on my checking account because some company I have never heard of charge a hundred and something dollars to my account the day before payday, and now I can't find anything out on this company or how they got my checking information. When I google it, it just comes up with testimonials from people about how they had to change their checking account numbers because this random company kept deducting money from their accounts. I don't know what to do because I won't be able to get into a bank until Monday and I can't afford to lose almost $200 because I recently had $100 stolen from me at work (and they refuse to fire the girl they know did it.they said they would rather not deal with it) and I am broke anyway.
I got a $9000 bill from my school for the first trimester of classes and I am already broke beyond a joke.
Not even being high feels good

Sorry if this was supposed to me a "poor me" thread, I am turning it into a thread of comiseration.

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"the painkillers are better even than high fashion and good coffee." - barkstonwill

dithy you should dispute that transaction and more than likely the money will be returned to your account.
ive had to do that before.

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nothin wrong with self pity. it does you good.

if it's CLINICAL DEPRESSION as opposed to FELLING PISSED OFF, get some anti deps for short term use, or if you're NO NO NO NO NEVER about that, try some St John's Wort.

they DO help in the short term cos they give you a kick to feel strong enough to cope with & sort out the shit that's making you low.

yeah, you can always PM me if you want to anytime - that's to everyone on this thread btw

will i need some kind of proof? will they just believe me, that i didn't just wrecklessly charge something?

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"the painkillers are better even than high fashion and good coffee." - barkstonwill

nope they dont ask for any sort of proof. atleast washington mutual doesnt. you should be able to just dispute it and it only takes like five days.

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will they give back the overdraft charge too?

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"the painkillers are better even than high fashion and good coffee." - barkstonwill

Thanks. I know the mood will pass. I just wish i had someone to pass it with. Sometimes you just feel like shit and all you need is to get out of your house. I just have no where to go.

I havent let myself be treated badly. I think the fact that I speak up against the way I have been treated makes people think they have the right to behave the way they are----people dont want to be wrong and they want you to let them be "right" or suffer the consequence.

I just feel like everything keeps getting worse since october. October was when the first cookie crumbled and it has been one bad thing after another. Now I just feel like I am expecting bad things because I cant stand the thought of something else bad happening without expecting it. Part of me thinks my current thoughts of being someone's " temporary hole filler" is just in my head but the other part of me thinks that it keeps happening one after another so it's only logical that it will happen again. My boyfriend is all I have left and the current chain of events with the people in my life makes me think he will be next. I also hate the he is the only one I can go to when i feel crappy. I dont want my current depression/paranoia to affect him. i am not like this on a daily basis. Just tonight it is really bad.

sure will. mine was also an overdraft dispute type thingy.

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are you one of those life voyeurs? secondary characters?

totally off topic but:

the same company charged me again. for nothing
and now i have to dispute this charge too????
i told them it was going to happen again
what am i supposed to do now?

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"the painkillers are better even than high fashion and good coffee." - barkstonwill

dispute them all then get a new bank acct. close it before they do it again.

just think how wonderful you really are. think of one time when somebody said how much they loved you. Now, if they thought that just one time, then it means you're wrong about the way you feel.

they WONT GIVE ME A NEW BANK ACCOUNT!!!
they wont let me change my account number, i already asked

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"the painkillers are better even than high fashion and good coffee." - barkstonwill

I would smoke you on one if I could.

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I would like to reccomend pot but dont want to encourage drugs on this board. Its just that that is what cured my depression. Instead of toking I would give it time. We all have stuff come up in our day to day lives that makes us down once in awhile.
Like for instance when I did all those favors for C.Lows people only to get the shaft all cause I didnt have texting and those my space creeps Jason T and Kasey Katz. Youll get over it though even harships like money. I wouldnt go the booze or pill route, instead wake up every day and tell yourself you are a good person, a beautiful person and that today is going to be the first day of the rest of your life.
Smile!

If you know the horrendous mood will pass, try and do something nice for yourself to help it go away quicker? I usually have a long bubblebath, read in bed, or knit in front of trashy TV. Obviously everyone's feeling-better solutions will be different, though. Good luck!

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