I'm fairly used to living in my own world, I love to zone out completely. which is all good and fine, because life is quite boring and I don't know where I'd be without my imagination.

however I'm really noticing lately that when I attempt to return to reality, my 'delusion' mode seems to kick in with avengeance even moreso when I'm outside than when I'm locked in my room blasting music. Isn't it meant to be the opposite?

It's sort of like the banality of outside drives me even further down the rabbit hole.

It manifests in quite bizarre situations, like where i'll have one of those brief conversations with people that is answered with a lot of 'yes', 'no' and grunts. But then when they're gone i'll proceed to have a 30 minute hypothetical conversation with that person inside my head.

It feels so strange to give off the impression of being a mute retard, yet in my mind I'm incredibly charismatic.

If I wasn't on accutane I'd just get drunk all the time.

y'all know what I'm saying?

I'd get a blog, but the only place people ever replied to my entrances was on VampireFreaks.

i used to be the same (extremely recently, even) but lately, and god knows why, i've just been saying whatever and running my mouth like all those charismatic conversations that you have in your head, and believe me, that's worse.

grunts and stuff are nice. i don't like to give too much.

and lol at vampirefreaks, i still have one of them somewhere.

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Maybe you could send him like a coat hanger or soup mix in the mail with a post it-
"when you paint with your eyes closed, you never become picasso, you just become an ironic narcissist with uncomfortable shades".
Throwing people off is thrilling.

-ktlr

if you'd just get drunk all the time and stop taking those stupid meds, you wouldn't be worrying about retarded shit like this.

fairytale la la land 4 lyfe.

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In hard economic times, everyone is looking to cut down the cost of groceries, so eating my own ejaculate certainly helps. To think, I've been wasting good food in tissues and toilet paper for 20+ years.

also you shouldn't really be leaving the house in the first place.

that is an activity best left to the feeble minded.

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In hard economic times, everyone is looking to cut down the cost of groceries, so eating my own ejaculate certainly helps. To think, I've been wasting good food in tissues and toilet paper for 20+ years.

ohhey, i found my vampire freaks, its shameful.
SucK at Vampirefreaks.com

__________________

Maybe you could send him like a coat hanger or soup mix in the mail with a post it-
"when you paint with your eyes closed, you never become picasso, you just become an ironic narcissist with uncomfortable shades".
Throwing people off is thrilling.

-ktlr

I have a similar thing really when it comes to talking to myself. When I go outside I sometimes come out with words as I talk to myself in my head.

Live journal is good for blogs.

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"I'm getting fucking tired of you fucks" - Trent Reznor - toronto 1994

I am the hate you try to hide and I control you - Mr Self-Destruct.

well me too ruth, and clotty's booze solution is the answer. la la land and reality mingle agreeably.

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they made soup out of my research turtles.

you do realise what charismatic actually means, don't you?

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i won't be home tonight, or tomorrow night, or any other night. ever again.

personally i agreee w/ this
as well as um can't you drink on accutane anyway?
i always did when i took it
of course i also tend to think that my body had lots of bad side effects due to taking the shit such as joint problems but i honestly don't even remember even being told not to drink w/ it?
i just remember it being such a huge deal that i couldnt get pregnant that i just stopped having sex altogether
but just be glad you're not a girl then and you don't have to worry about that
its been a long time since i've even had the oppurtunity to say that

mmmhm, im no good at explaining myself.

i just tried, but it made no sense, so i won't bother.

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Maybe you could send him like a coat hanger or soup mix in the mail with a post it-
"when you paint with your eyes closed, you never become picasso, you just become an ironic narcissist with uncomfortable shades".
Throwing people off is thrilling.

-ktlr

what exactly is acutane?

and i just don't understand you being so shy. you are so intelligent, creative, and talented. and did i mention how attractive you are???? somebody like you really shouldn't give a fuck what people think of you. you have so many good things to offer the world around you. but, i am kind of glad you are that way. it gives us more time with you here.

see. i am the total opposite. i am overly social around people while working. i kind of go and get inside my head while i am jogging. then, i don't want to talk to anyone while i am at home. except all you folks.

but, i must admit, i do daydream a lot. and i used to sleep alot so i could dream. but that is because i moved back to a smaller town.

Oh Ruthy, baby, you gotta focus. FOCUS. Life will zip by in an flash and I truely mean that. Sometimes, when I go mental, nothing will help me and eventually the mental thing burns out like a candle and I am back to normal. Time heals all is so true for me when I am ill.

But for you - I can totally relate to what you are saying. I have been there and all I can say is you'll look back in 10 years at what you thought and lived thru this day and laugh: then suffer an emmense nervous breakdown as usual!

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Ezekiel 33:33 Rev 13:16 Lev 11:7
Forums
Last FM
ن٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱ

i agree with kesh and clotty
i just have to go into a walmart to remind myself of this.

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you'll have to excuse me, i prefer reading the thread after i post

"I mean, they lost both parents. That's just careless." - Zach Braff on orphans
"Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Zach Braff on abortion.
"It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know."
- Zach Braff on the holocaust

That happened to me because I worked in a small office without being in touch with people, and then I didn´t work for months and when I started working with a large amount of people it was very very difficult to adapt, but when you make an effort after a while you just start getting used to it.

i only answer questions with swear words or yeah or no. most of the time i'm wishing whoever is talking would stfu and fuck off. then i think i should make more of an effort with people, but they just give me the shits.

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When the glitter fades in the morning, turn away and you will find my empty eyes....your beauty blinds.

I'd like to write a part two but I might just shut my mouth and keep things to myself

safe inside myself (are all my thoughts of you? sweet rapture and life, it ends here tonight)